tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134922572024-03-07T01:45:59.294-06:00Care Bear<img src="http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a315/carebearsunshine/pastdictatea1.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.comBlogger455125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-76320392405431107252011-02-23T10:21:00.002-06:002011-02-23T10:22:56.025-06:00Where have I been?I actually GOT TO MY BLOG!! So the reason that I haven't been blogging is that I haven't been able to access my account! It seems that it was trying to get me to sign up with a google account, which I didn't want to do. So anyway, hubby has fixed it now and I can keep sharing my journey! YA!Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-30972654796355151842010-10-24T10:11:00.005-06:002010-10-24T10:31:54.869-06:00The way I process<span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-family:arial;" >My counselor, whom I love so so much OXOX She spent the morning with me yesterday. She isn't afraid of me crying, she knows I won't die. And if anything, she knows that if she can just get me crying, it will be for my own good.....hence what seemed like crying for so long that my eyes felt like baseballs and my sinuses jammed full of molasses.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-family:arial;" >Our sessions remind me of what it's like to jump off the 7.5 meter diving board at harry bailey. You know that you want to jump off at some point, but you're not sure when. At first you stand on the side of the pool, watching others jump off. Watching to see if they die, get hurt, scream, laugh.....the you might be brave enough to walk up the stairs, but with a friend, just incase you need to be humiliated and come back down again. You explain to your friend that if you chicken out, you make an agreement that the BOTH of you will come down the stairs together so that no one will know which on of you is the real chicken. After a few trips up and down the stairs, you decide it's safe enough to stand on the platform. But with your back FIRMLY against the wall. You can't even see off the edges. Slowly, you walk forward towards the edge, holding on the the railings, heart beating fast, the height of it is gripping you. When you finally get up enough courage to LOOK OVER the edge, you not only can see the ground, BUT TO THE BOTTOM OF THE POOL-which is ANOTHER 16 feet! I remember standing up there forEVER! looking, staring, thinking, fearing, trying to be brave, talking to myself, telling myself to be brave and just jump already! I must have counted to 3 a million times over without making the jump. I remember bending my knees, plugging my nose, but yet my feet not budging! I remember everyone in the pool was even starting to get frustrated. Complete strangers were yelling at me from the bottom, "JUMP ALREADY!" "COME ON!!!!" "JUMP!!!!!!" </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-family:arial;" >You know, when I think about it, back in grade 6, when I made the big 7.5 meter jump, I can't actually remember what made me finally go. But I remember the fall. Very very clearly. It seemed like I fell forever. Screaming all the way down, I hit the water and panic rushed over me as it felt like I sank to the bottom of the pool. With no air left in my lungs from all the screaming and having to swim all the way up to the top of the water, I wasn't sure if I would make it. But I did. A sense of accomplishment was met as I was able to take the jump a few more times without it taking over an hour!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-family:arial;" >I feel like I have been walking up and down those stairs for a long time. Walking up to the platform and looking over the edge many many times. Yesterday, I feel like I jumped off the platform before it. the 5 meter. Gearing myself up to the BIG jump. I know I didn't officially do what really needs to be done, but I feel more and more ready to go there. I am able to actually look it in the eye a bit more. Maybe even speak to it. maybe even be brave enough to give it my voice, my feelings, my hurt.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-family:arial;" >Thank you my dear counselor who selflessly gives herself, her time to help heal someone who wants freedom. You are making a difference in my life, like you wouldn't believe. love you!</span>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-88522761530685866742010-10-20T11:32:00.004-06:002010-10-20T11:49:22.904-06:00point form-I found out yesterday that people line up in the hallway before my class to make sure they get a bosu (there's only 13) :D<br /><br />-When I walked into my class 15 mintues before class to set up, the room was PACKED full of ladies ready to go! What a nice way to go to work!<br /><br />-But since there's only 13 BOSU's, I had to turn 4 people away, including Jonah's step mom who comes regularly :(<br /><br />-I feel like I'm making a difference in people's lives<br /><br />-I'm happy with the way our home is running, trying to improve schedules and disciplines<br /><br />-I'm reading "life without ED" again, a book about overcoming your eating disorder<br /><br />-Not necessarily happy with our budget :( :S<br /><br />-proud of my hubby in everything he does. He is the man I dreamed of having as a girl<br /><br />-proud of my mom for quitting smoking!!! day 5 for her today<br /><br />-proud of noah and isaiah for consistently cleaning their rooms and keeping them neat and tidy<br /><br />-NOT proud of faith and elishah, since their rooms continue to be a DISASTER area!<br /><br />-Still waiting to see if my kitchen will magically be sanded, primed and painted, but it's not happening.<br /><br />-I LOVE opening my new FRONT window!!! Complete with huge bill :( but worth it :)<br /><br />-Still checking my kids for lice every 3-5 days.<br /><br />-My new favorite song is pink! raise your glass (cause I'm a dirty little freak!)<br /><br />-Missing my best friend since she's back at work now and I can't talk to her whenever I want for as long as I want :(Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-70908008315421680122010-10-17T17:23:00.004-06:002010-10-17T17:51:50.502-06:0025 to lifeToday I was running. I've been running to this song for a while now and I loved it right from the first time I heard it. I really like the way Eminem expresses his feelings in this song. It's very raw and honest to the core. So for those of you who are offended by Eminem, this will probably offend you.<br />But since this is my blog, with my thoughts and my journey, something hit me today and I want to share it. Those that know me well, know my long uphill battle with my eating disorder. You will also know that 2.5 years ago, I stopped throwing up my food, thinking that I had ended my battle with bulimia. Not so....<br />Little did I know that my eating disorder would morph into new voices and eating patterns. It changed in the way it spoke to me and the way I worked out in the gym. Even though I wasn't throwing up my food, I was desperately purging calories in the gym and trying to restrict my food. It still consumed my thoughts, my life and alot of my actions.<br />Well, as of recently, a month and a half to be exact. I have relapsed. I am again throwing up my food. There, I said it. I am still an open person -- yea for me........(sarcastic voice)<br /><br />So back to my run. As I was running to one of my new favorite Eminem songs, I realized that this song that he wrote to hip hop, I had those same thoughts towards my eating disorder, which I've called "Ed or Edith" I will share the lyrics with you and change the words to where it's meaningful to me. I am not going to edit out the swears, because they are a part of how I feel. So if you are offended by profanity, please don't read on. If you choose to read on, remember that this is my blog, my place to share my journey. Highlighted are the parts of the song that really hit home for me.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">I don't think she understands</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> The sacrifices that I made</span><br />Maybe if this b itch had acted right<br />I would have stayed<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">But I've already wasted over half my life</span><br />I would have laid down and died for you<br />I longer cry for you<br />No more pain<br />b itch you took me for granted<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">Took my heart and ran it straight into the planet</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Into the dirt</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> I can no longer stand it</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Now my respect I demand it</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Imma take control of this relationship</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Command it</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">And I'm gonna be the boss of you now god dam it</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> And what I mean is that </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> I'm will no longer let you control me</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> So you better hear me out</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> This much you owe me</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> I gave up my life for you</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Totally devoted to you</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Why I've stayed</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Faithful all the way</span><br />This is how I fuc kin get repaid?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">Look at how I dress</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">fuc kin baggy sweats</span> (gym clothes, runners)<br />Go to work a mess<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">Always in a rush to get back to you</span><br />I ain't heard you yet<br />Not even once say you appreciate me<br />I deserve respect<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">I've done my best to give you </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Nothing less then perfectness</span><br />And I know that if I end this<br />I'll no longer have nothing left<br />But you keep treating me like a staircase<br />It's time to fuc kin step<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">And I wont be coming back</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> So don't hold your fuc kin breath</span><br />You know what you've done<br />No need to go in depth<br />I told you you'd be sorry<br />If I fuc kin left<br />I laughed while you wept<br />How's it feel now?<br />Yeah funny ain't it<br />You neglected me<br />Did me a favor<br />Let all my spirit free<br />You've said<br />Got a special place for you<br />In my heart<br />That I have kept<br />It's unfortunate but it's<br /><br />Too late<br />For the other side<br />Caught in a chase<br />25 to life<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">I feel like</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> When I bend over backwards for you</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> All you do is laugh</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Cuz that ain't good enough</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> You expect me to fold myself in half</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Till I snap</span><br />Don't think I'm loyal<br />All I do is rap (workout, eat less, more....etc)<br />How can I moonlight on the side<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">I have no life outside of that</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Don't I give you enough of my time?</span><br />You don't think so do you?<br />Jealous when I spend time with the girls<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">Why I'm married to you still</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Man I don't know</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> But tonight I'm serving you with papers</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> I'm divorcing you</span><br />Go marry someone else<br />And make em famous<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">And take away their freedom</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Like you did to me</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Treat em like you don't need em</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> And they ain't worthy of you</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Feed em </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> The same sh it hat you made me eat</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> I'm moving on</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Forget you</span><br />Oh now I'm special<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">I didn't feel special when I was wit you</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> All I ever felt was this </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Helplessness</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Imprisoned by a selfish b itch</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Chew me up and spit me out</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> I fell for this</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> So many times</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> It's ridiculous</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> And still I stick with this</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">I'm sick of this</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> But in my sickness</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> And addiction</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Your addictive as they get</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Evil as they come</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Vindictive as they make em</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> My friends keep asking me</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Why I can't just walk away from</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> I'm addicted</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> To the pain, the stress</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> The drama</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> I'm drawn to @#!*% </span><br />So I guess I'm a mess<br />Cursed and blessed<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">But this time imma</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> Ain't changing my mind</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> I'm climbing out this abyss</span><br />Your screaming as I walk out<br />That I'll be missed<br />But when you spoke of people<br />Who meant the most to you<br />You left me off your list<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">f uck you hip hop</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> (Edith)</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">I</span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);">'m leaving you</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 204, 255);"> My life sentence is served b itch</span><br />And it's just<br /><br />Too late<br />For the other side<br />Caught in a chase<br />25 to life<div style="border: medium none ; overflow: hidden; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"><br /><br /></div>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-39366172695969112732010-09-28T09:58:00.006-06:002010-09-28T20:06:28.296-06:00the cry of every girl's heart<span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 255);font-size:130%;" ><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" >Deep down inside, there is a longing in each of us. This song touches some of what's in my heart.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" >I know that Rihanna is a wounded soul and with everything that I've learned in the last couple of years, I can see through the wound, hear her cry, and know pieces of where the answer lies.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" >Nonetheless, I can relate to her longing. I can stand beside her deep cry, cause I have the same one.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 153);font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" >Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 153);font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" > Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 153);font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" > Like I’m the only one who knows your heart</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 153);font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" > Only girl in the world…</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 153);font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" > Like I’m the only one that’s in command</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 153);font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" > Cuz I’m the only one who understands, like I’m the only one who knows your heart, only one....</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" >I guess it comes back to those 3 words again. Cherished, Chosen and Treasured.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" >Of course, the rest of the song is twisted with wounds and a poor sense of who she really is as a woman. She is giving herself like a piece of pie, and at the same time, asks to be treated like the only girl in the world, which doesn't really work that well when she's feeding the wrong part of a man. One of the biggest revelations in both Joe and I is that a woman cannot make a man feel like a man. She is a woman. And if a man has his identity in his sexuality and not in God, he will turn to a woman to fill that. so around and around they go filling each other in a way that can never be satisfied, and actually, they are using each other for selfish reasons.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:85%;" >I'm on a quest to find God's true purpose for a man and wife coming together. without all the mumbo jumbo, without the wounds, from a pure, true place. I can sure identify with the longings that I believe God originally put in us. The question is what do we do with those longings, how do we enjoy the fruit of marriage, and yet be filled and satisfied with God's love in the deepest parts of us?</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><br /></span>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-36686968818628321732010-09-24T14:32:00.002-06:002010-09-24T14:38:44.886-06:00Things I am looking forward to-Teaching my class tonight! I have a fun lesson plan, including plank pushovers, dead bug holds and we're going to use resistance bands today!<br /><br />-Having a run this weekend, hopefully a 10 km<br /><br />-Taking time for myself to journal, reflect on this last year and my new goals.<br /><br />-Trying out my new coconut vodka with pinapple juice YUM<br /><br />-Teaching my last, full class on muscle sculpt at the fieldhouse this Monday from 8-9 and YES, that's an invitation!<br /><br />-Cooking my homemade meatballs this weekend<br /><br />-Getting my hair done at Jilla's on MONDAY! goodbye roots!<br /><br />-Owen's baptism on Sunday :)<br /><br />-Cashing my first cheque only to NOT spend the money :)Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-72556472021865131272010-09-18T10:20:00.005-06:002010-09-18T10:28:58.263-06:00point formthoughts in random form<br /><br />-how did I end up with such an amazing man?<br /><br />-Elishah is even EXTRA cute when it's just me, joe and her.<br /><br />-The Bulk Barn is the new place to go for junk runs!!!<br /><br />-It's super funny when your 3 year old, that's potty trained, is wearing a diaper in the store, decides to pee and her eyes go red around the rims :P<br /><br />-holding off on painting my kitchen for another weekend annoys me, but it's life<br /><br />-to run outside/on my treadmill/go to the gym.....decisions, decisions.....<br /><br />-The movie "Remember Me" SUCKS BUM! (even when you watch it in fast forward!)<br /><br />-Sleeping sitting up is second nature to me<br /><br />-Wondering when I'm going to actually ENJOY housework again<br /><br />-I had one person in my class yesterday :( The friday BOSU slot is super slow :(<br /><br />-GOT MY FIRST CHECK YESTERDAY!!!Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-283476143702381502010-09-13T13:02:00.003-06:002010-09-13T13:34:30.284-06:00My little faithfulness....in kindergarten.......<span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >Ok, so I've never in my life, sent a child to school at the age of 5. Or even 6. My first child was almost 8 when she went to school and Noah was almost 10. It wasn't the prettiest circumstances when they went to school, but I knew it was coming and they were older! I probably forget already how hard that was, becuase all I can think of now is HOW HARD it is to have my little BABY in school now :( </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >So I have to tell you about my last week. Faith's first day of school was last Wednesday. Today is her 3rd day of school (she skips every other day) Her first day of school, I dropped her off and walked back to the car with a lone child in a stroller. I had to fight tears, thinking to myself, "c'mon! pull it together, you're being a drama queen about this! You've been looking forward to this forever!" But it hit me. My little faithfulness is in KINDERGARTEN........</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >I made myself busy that day. Taking my mind off of what was really happening. I don't think I was home that WHOLE day. I surrounded myself with people and things to do. Day one=complete</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >Day 2 was on Friday. I had to sit on myself to NOT go to the school. I asked faith as I was packing her lunch, "do you want mom to come see you at school today at lunch?" She said, "no, it's ok mom" "aw, are you sure? i could just come for a little bit" so for MY sake she said, "ok, mom if you want to....." (STAB) I determined after that hard day that I was GOING to see her on Monday for sure!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >Today:</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >I'm so excited to go see Faith. I show up to see her sitting with her back towards me. She was eating so quietly and peacefully. I went up to her (fighting tears to see her so big and grown up) I asked her how her lunch was. All the other kids were looking at me, like I was some big elephant in the room. One kid said, "why are you here?" I said, defending myself, "to see Faith, I'm faith's mom" Faith's teacher was still in the room, so I thought I should ask her how Faith was doing. I got "the talk" from her. That Faith is fine and that I don't need to worry and to not come to the school too often if I can help it.......</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >After feeling a bit out of place, I decided to go see Isaiah. "come on sheesha! let's go see Isaiah!" On my way out the door, I tried to make eye contact with Faith to say by, but she was too busy eating and talking to her new friends.....so I left.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >Get to Isaiah's class and she's so used to me at the school, that she isn't excited to see me, she's just like, "hey mom" and carries on talking with her friends. I try to get in on the convo, but it's obvious that it's a kid thing and not a mom thing. So feeling a bit rejected again, I say to sheesha "let's go see noah!!" (in my head I 'm thinking, he's always happy to see me) So we wander down the hall to the portables to see Noah.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >As soon as I walk in the class, 3 or 4 kids are like,"Noah, you're mom's here...." they are apparently so used to seeing me. He's like, "oh hey mom" as he's packing up his lunch. I'm like, "where are you going?" He's like, "Oh, I'm to the cross country meet, see ya!" and he walks out!!</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >So here I am, in a desk, and sheesha's running around the room and my son just deserted me! K, maybe I am a crazy mom! But gotta go out with a bang right?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >So I think to myself, Faith is probably done eating and is getting ready to go outside, lets' go back and see her one more time.......</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >By the time we walk to the other side of the school, I pass Isaiah in the hallway, and she doesn't even acknowledge me. She on her way outside and she talking about what they're all going to play. Finally back in Faith's classroom, she on the carpet, reading a book. So without making the same mistake twice, I sneak out with elishah and wait for her on the playground. As I'm out on the playground stalking all my children, Noah runs by, running his 2 k. My heart all swells up, and I'm so proud, so I yell out, "GOOD JOB NOAH!!!!!" </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >Sheesh, this is getting more and more pathetic as the story goes on I know......but it goes on :S</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >Finally Faith comes out and I'm so exicted to see her play, she laughing and running around all her friends. So I think its a great idea to ask her what her friends names are, so that we can talk about them later.......</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >So I approach a group of girls, laughing their heads off, including faith.....and realized, that I'd just better leave her alone. So I walk away......feeling sheepish.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >I pushed Elishah on the swing for 5 minutes and then came home....</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 102, 204);font-family:arial;" >SIGH.......</span>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-80563810672373260752010-09-01T09:24:00.007-06:002010-09-01T10:14:29.185-06:00When will I be worth fighting for?<span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">I am now looking at the second year marker. That's how I roll. I've always been that way. I look at my life through big landmarks that have formed who I've become. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">-When I got clean at 16, Nov 15, 1995, my family celebrated my clean date for years and years. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">-I still remember August 27th, 1995. It was the day God RESCUED me off the street. I was "kidnapped" by my parents, thrown into the back of a car and shipped to detox. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">-When Joe and I started dating ,aug 13, 1995</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">-the day we got engaged aug 14, 1996</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">-the day we got married Nov 9, 1996</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">-The day I said my final goodbye to bulimia Feb 5th, 2008</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">-The week I fasted for my family April 14-19th, 2008</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">-The day Caleb was admitted to hospital Oct 23, 2006</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">-The day he died, Oct 26, 06</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Those are some of my landmarks, but there are many more. I think that it's good to look at life this way because it's encouraging to see the growth, to see how God moved, and to see His faithfulness. But.....to let moments DEFINE YOU....that's another story. Somehow, 2 years ago, the events that were placed before me became WHO I AM. I allowed events and circumstances to tell me who I am, what I'm worth, and it completely derailed me as a person. After all this time, cause 2 years sounds like a LONG time, I've actually learned a few things. GASP!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I've realized that when the rubber meets the road, when push comes to shove, when it all boils down, the ball is in my court. I hate saying that outloud, because I'm held to my own words, but it needs to be said. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">-I've fought for Caleb, keeping him home with us and not putting him a home, fighting for his needs because he was worth it. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">-I've fought for my kids, giving up my life to homeschool them, stretching myself beyond what I thought possible, for THEM, cause they are worth it.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">-I've fought for Joe, which was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, because Joe is worth it.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">And.....before my "defining moment" 2 years ago, I was learning to fight for ME..... Saying goodbye to my eating disorder because I knew I deserved better. I started my journey with running and fitness. Why? because I deserved to be healthy, happy and have time for MYSELF.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">But it's time to fight for me! not just keep myself alive for those around me, but fight for ME. And, here's the scary/eyeopening piece. I know that if I don't start passionatly fighting for me right now, I could loose myself forever. Or something terrible will happen. I read in a book once, "desperate people do desperate things" And I've been living in a state of desperation for a long time. With big holes in my heart that need attention.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">They say you MAKE time for things that are important to you. I get that. I get that very much. I am the one that will MAKE a trip to the gym to "FIT" in a run, a workout, because I need to. It's a priority. I understand that if I want to fit in my workouts, I have to juggle my kids, my family time, meals, schedules, just to get it in. I get that. Why don't I do that for my spiritual health? Why is my spiritual health an option??? I will always tell people that they need to MAKE time if they want to get fit, but what good is a healthy body when you're dying inside? :(</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I put away my old journal. I have to. I have to leave it behind. I have to leave the past in the past and walk towards God's heart for ME. I have to fight for me. If I can't fight for me, I will never be able to fight for others.</span></span>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-62740315550934618702010-08-25T10:31:00.003-06:002010-08-25T10:44:03.791-06:00Gravol addictionI never would have thought that taking some gravol to help me sleep would catch up with me. It turns out that I'm having to gradually wean myself from it. The gravol was working well for me, giving me a deep sleep with no interruptions. With Joe's snoring and my "heartburn attacks" it was a great solution. I took two each night and woke up a bit groggy, but it wore off after a couple cups of coffee.<br />This went on for a month, till......Joe and I went to Regina last weekend for a marriage weekend and I forgot to bring it with me. Of course my sleep was a disaster, my heartburn was not good at all, but the worst of it was the next day, I was so nauseated. I had to take some gravol during the day.<br />I realized that my body depended on it when a week later, I ran out of gravol and the next day I was so incredibly nauseated! It was like I had rode the zipper all day and was ready to throw up. A gravol pill did eventually take that away, but it was crazy to think that my body was going through withdrawls :(<br />So this week I've been weaning myself half a tab at a time, pondering how easy we pop pills for quick fixes. I hope this experience will have me think twice before popping pills in the future.<br /><br />Does anyone else have stories like this? Any thoughts?Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-57452523546171721352010-08-11T18:07:00.004-06:002010-08-11T18:38:04.168-06:00child training 101-huh?<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQzZmY5t0c0WPHw2RypU1-XHWTpdrpl8zT2NpJJjGWfneLEBWwrDnrx4TmmmLONRzX3dmuFbMdEYKZxFHtB4wUpIKrag3rTwUGHP0Au11bzXznrdrvINKIU1NZrCAB_qSpR-OC/s1600/IMG_4512.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQzZmY5t0c0WPHw2RypU1-XHWTpdrpl8zT2NpJJjGWfneLEBWwrDnrx4TmmmLONRzX3dmuFbMdEYKZxFHtB4wUpIKrag3rTwUGHP0Au11bzXznrdrvINKIU1NZrCAB_qSpR-OC/s400/IMG_4512.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5504314893599659410" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3l7h_L0SrB8C8aj3pjaDEHl37556h2cNEG_JfgMqkbL03TsrIAdH-5B1SsQRcJX8LzyUy7IBHg5cnXdTvS6wpz6N_-Sncuue5NBnAMkAJ4pZlAi28EQ9Wkn93Hi2lreUl4ozK/s1600/IMG_4478.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3l7h_L0SrB8C8aj3pjaDEHl37556h2cNEG_JfgMqkbL03TsrIAdH-5B1SsQRcJX8LzyUy7IBHg5cnXdTvS6wpz6N_-Sncuue5NBnAMkAJ4pZlAi28EQ9Wkn93Hi2lreUl4ozK/s400/IMG_4478.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5504314734602529746" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">I've totally lost my edge. Mostly my confidence as a parent. When the bottom of your world falls out, and there's a season of doubt, you pretty much doubt everything....and today, my parenting.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">For those that know me and our family, know that we have this beautiful charming, blonde, petite, blow-away-in-the-wind, delicate, little girl. Her name is Elishah. She is our fifth child who is a dearing 3 and a half years old. She came to us in a strange time...three months after our 1st born died suddenly of pneumonia. We were in a state of chaos and grief. Our basement was being renovated, the financial stress was at it's peak, as well as our marriage was in it's last moments before it nearly completely dissolved. Working through grief, renos and a new baby was beyond our limits. And to make things more complicated, we decided to take on leading a lifegroup (which looking back was the death of us) I was off kilter, Joe was basically there only in body, but nothin else, and here was this little precious gift given to us in such a time. Child training was attempted, but wasn't met by two parents that were on the same team. </span></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrZ9u6W7g7BmFtN4sfxWcqksxTADhIgAIvtCwEjdNuIJ9aHFmlZrJz7vVzj_9X3ZZgSO_L4w4WJcmXPjo-LikyT627f4zTxLVGnEOoDgc7ty19yDkDbu7kpkwapDC0iAX9jSiP/s1600/DSC03430.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrZ9u6W7g7BmFtN4sfxWcqksxTADhIgAIvtCwEjdNuIJ9aHFmlZrJz7vVzj_9X3ZZgSO_L4w4WJcmXPjo-LikyT627f4zTxLVGnEOoDgc7ty19yDkDbu7kpkwapDC0iAX9jSiP/s400/DSC03430.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5504315116053229138" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">Fast forward one year to when our family almost hit the dust. Elishah was 1 and a half then. The time she needed us the most. Mom was a literal train wreck, Joe was trying with everything to repair the damage, focusing most of his attention on mom, and the kids were left to God. I thank God for how he took care of them in that first year. I know he assigned many angels to our kids.</span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidEe91mVmHmK6lzgUPXl3y7K7w8SSEYFqO700-Dw0dHAfCVvAQ7uWb7efI9VKyQNpCWdH5XMxbyleeutpeJvBuHafuWzS4DIzWEIWR3V9Ah5Ifm_QHOQRvfinhYShc5xZjSeL8/s1600/IMG_1300.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidEe91mVmHmK6lzgUPXl3y7K7w8SSEYFqO700-Dw0dHAfCVvAQ7uWb7efI9VKyQNpCWdH5XMxbyleeutpeJvBuHafuWzS4DIzWEIWR3V9Ah5Ifm_QHOQRvfinhYShc5xZjSeL8/s400/IMG_1300.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5504314614008057970" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">As the dust has settled, we've grown more and more to see that this little "cute/princess?" girl is turning into a monster! She has started saying things like, "I hate you! You're mean! I don't like you! Don't touch me!" Followed with whining out the yinyang and serious "terrible two" attitude. Something that I've only read about in books. Whenever I've read about parents that have monsters like that, I've thanked God that he's taught me about child training and that i would NEVER have a child LIKE THAT!.......apparently....<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">.I do.......</span></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzOEtOtXzhDnr87d30BL2WLxA-SoD4vRxORXtPliFrKc5XSeyYPlrraUOwEULbtDngwTsuvqo92blGZm4x5OtGRmvnRCsGniN3AMw8vfKVu7hTy8_kcWWLu-GcbfuuziUTwZSs/s1600/DSC00543.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzOEtOtXzhDnr87d30BL2WLxA-SoD4vRxORXtPliFrKc5XSeyYPlrraUOwEULbtDngwTsuvqo92blGZm4x5OtGRmvnRCsGniN3AMw8vfKVu7hTy8_kcWWLu-GcbfuuziUTwZSs/s400/DSC00543.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5504314320748199074" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">So, after a long, long......<span style="font-style: italic;">looooong</span> series of events of attitude, backtalk, hitting the air, slamming doors (yes...she's even gone to a room and slammed the door on us)......Joe and I totally tagged teamed her in a silly battle that we thought we could handle......</span></span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 255);font-family:arial;" >"Please pick up the 3 pieces of dry cereal you just spilled on the carpet and put it into the bowl"</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">Seemed simple enough........</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">I thought wrong......</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">Joe and I won!!!! It completely RIPPED my heart out spanking her, but in the end (20 minutes or so) she finally willfully, cheerfully, respectfully, obediently, put the dang cereal in the bowl!!! YA US!</span></span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">She's been happy as a clam ever since. Telling how much she loves us and you can actually tell that something rebellious has been lifted off of her. It brings back far and distant memories of when I've trained my other 3 children and actually enjoyed shaping their character and giving them happiness. </span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">Now............I hope that God can give me the strength to keep going and give her what she so desperately needs......consistency, training, and lots of love to back it up!</span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOOVQid8ei_itFkSC2SlvyEpXXl9aRG6iDdoy4aTDe8vJmZEdddgIzAljCCfjMFB16ojanrxTFxYznP-j1mfhSbYDIzVb3OuuOMW03QQDunngLmwHd8iZ7ev4KlrLtIu8KcO9b/s1600/IMG_1372.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOOVQid8ei_itFkSC2SlvyEpXXl9aRG6iDdoy4aTDe8vJmZEdddgIzAljCCfjMFB16ojanrxTFxYznP-j1mfhSbYDIzVb3OuuOMW03QQDunngLmwHd8iZ7ev4KlrLtIu8KcO9b/s400/IMG_1372.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5504315412863451106" border="0" /></a></div>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-89443382848148893472010-08-08T10:10:00.004-06:002010-08-08T21:27:35.677-06:00So it's official<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm4qbkW_6ik_AsLU6K12vjq-ULuS_ZLBbTMD6xXBoZK4YtoZe8A8h9o02XwtKf8Twf9xbBU7hm8Pe9H4y5Dcdm40QYCakJkqSK3oCgNvFcS7wsRUNfltiWK2_QFDYwVpzmym_O/s1600/twilight.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 288px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm4qbkW_6ik_AsLU6K12vjq-ULuS_ZLBbTMD6xXBoZK4YtoZe8A8h9o02XwtKf8Twf9xbBU7hm8Pe9H4y5Dcdm40QYCakJkqSK3oCgNvFcS7wsRUNfltiWK2_QFDYwVpzmym_O/s400/twilight.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5503073245452598594" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">I'm officially a Twilight fan.....</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">As of late, I've become team Jacob :P<br /><br />Man, could I do anything in moderation?! I watched the first one last Sunday, new moon 4 days later, and thank you to my BFLF Morgan, she treated me to Eclipse on the big screen!!! OMG!<br />I cried, bit my fist (mostly when Jacob had his shirt off) laughed and held my breath.....I can't wait for the next one which is in a million years from now :(<br /></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk4wpmq6WeCB8LO0mXps4o_giNf2q54zHLld-_IOFtg-G7aDBzcB4KTDnz2Qwm3V3cZvtBgQQFspaINWO53DVWc161tYq8DlhlgRkP0ILli3HA1kukavYhFWFIgITAg9nXoXEx/s1600/taylorlautner_jacob_twilight_new_moon_poster.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk4wpmq6WeCB8LO0mXps4o_giNf2q54zHLld-_IOFtg-G7aDBzcB4KTDnz2Qwm3V3cZvtBgQQFspaINWO53DVWc161tYq8DlhlgRkP0ILli3HA1kukavYhFWFIgITAg9nXoXEx/s400/taylorlautner_jacob_twilight_new_moon_poster.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5503073148596732658" border="0" /></a></div>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-42924195517389975152010-07-23T19:53:00.005-06:002010-07-25T10:22:30.846-06:00My first tattoo<div style="text-align: center; color: rgb(153, 255, 153);font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmO23I2Aa4sP764_smI59c3y5I26ajvzRKdrasatA2IWYrQ7-8KGkG8Uue29nLuqINgV9lK-JL5MoEzlcJosTVbOzIOohq6CMIdnTgsPFZYXs6L1y03PocfaGm-YV5cmyXf1CF/s1600/IMG_2471.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmO23I2Aa4sP764_smI59c3y5I26ajvzRKdrasatA2IWYrQ7-8KGkG8Uue29nLuqINgV9lK-JL5MoEzlcJosTVbOzIOohq6CMIdnTgsPFZYXs6L1y03PocfaGm-YV5cmyXf1CF/s400/IMG_2471.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5497285431004115218" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXXLzX43zM3kOMdFZxRBBe5vyH4K0HPKk5mH3ROPMdTe8nLqin7BP_f9wkhWueKBy0PZeuYiOw7z9pdosxJX-LPcbryIy_uWrbLZPu2opZlVwrjI9C7AXEmqHyknhuzak8wCyJ/s1600/IMG_2466.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXXLzX43zM3kOMdFZxRBBe5vyH4K0HPKk5mH3ROPMdTe8nLqin7BP_f9wkhWueKBy0PZeuYiOw7z9pdosxJX-LPcbryIy_uWrbLZPu2opZlVwrjI9C7AXEmqHyknhuzak8wCyJ/s400/IMG_2466.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5497285275097402418" border="0" /></a>I never thought that the word Chosen would mean so much to me. Being that it's the very first word that I wanted on my body permanently says that it means a ton. I've been reading a book called "Captivating" that is exactly what my spirit and heart need in this time. There are 3 words in total that I will put on my body, Chosen being the first. The other two are "Cherished" and "Treasured"<br /><br />To a woman, these are deep deep longings inside, that were put there by God himself. He created us to desire them. To be the beauty in a love story. To be chosen, to be cherished, and to be treasured. I am learning to embrace this part of me, by allowing my God to heal these very damaged, very wounded places. I think that one of the greatest goal's the enemy has on a woman is to directly damage these 3 parts of her heart.<br /><br />I love looking down to physically see that reminder. That I am chosen. I am chosen by the creator of the universe, before the creation of all the world, He chose me. To be His daughter, His bride, to treasure and cherish me, forever. The vows that God made to me can never be broken, stolen, damaged, and will never change. He stays true to that promise.<br /><br />If you look close, you will see a nail going through the "h" To remind me that He made the ultimate display of love anyone could ever make. By taking nails through His hands and feet, by literally giving His life to be with me.....a romantic, yet gory love story that I, me, Sarah, get to be the center of!!<br /><br />As long as I can remember, I've tried to have a human man take that place in my life. I thought that if a man chose me, I would be satisfied. The only problem with that is that there is no human man that can do that perfectly. Whether it's a ranchy boyfriend or your husband that loves God and is faithful to you, no man can take that place in a woman's heart that longs to be chosen, treasured and cherished.<br /><br />But there is a twist to all of this. God designed a man and wife to "play" the roles of who He is with us. He created a man and wife to display the dance, romance and love of Him and His beloved. So when the foundations are correct and in the right order, you have an amazingly powerful couple that experience true love the way God intended. I see now that as Joe fights for me and walks in that, he brings healing to me. As I embrace that I am chosen by GOD himself, there's a beauty that arises inside and protective walls will come down.<br /><br />And as an ending note....I can't wait for my next tattoo!! :P:P:P:P<br /></span></div>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-23977658474481491602010-07-20T10:49:00.015-06:002010-07-20T11:08:29.608-06:00Highlights of Isaiah's 9th birthday party<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihzxyNwbnKugnyoJRwbXLSI3LFW1LXwWSd1QLGR7EUrXJk9VpUVJRpnqM0iK06vhtce595Au3-YnvzrlY5g0xmIcTqXjixC0CO842a17E8UNj2dOEKm5rCee9WdFRD51T7dUzJ/s1600/IMG_2413.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihzxyNwbnKugnyoJRwbXLSI3LFW1LXwWSd1QLGR7EUrXJk9VpUVJRpnqM0iK06vhtce595Au3-YnvzrlY5g0xmIcTqXjixC0CO842a17E8UNj2dOEKm5rCee9WdFRD51T7dUzJ/s400/IMG_2413.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496034627495535410" border="0" /></a><br />What is a trip to the pool without their famous fries and watered down ketchup?!<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfRvx-baSihy4bD9sWbpY0oPRCqWUCI0AZlqunpqdblxR5xPfTGYK455zBRu627D3epgyyWqfZcviS20FJsbPlbZf0cKYPk8pt-H-63grma3CIDbiif0AONkzskioofcOZpD3o/s1600/IMG_2411.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfRvx-baSihy4bD9sWbpY0oPRCqWUCI0AZlqunpqdblxR5xPfTGYK455zBRu627D3epgyyWqfZcviS20FJsbPlbZf0cKYPk8pt-H-63grma3CIDbiif0AONkzskioofcOZpD3o/s400/IMG_2411.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496032408638722498" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVRh6A8QnmUjveu7hZUMRo2MDFtjCP9KtARt2mBXhm3PyasTTSxm9S-oRx_Najx9ZXGd4_EpR2nNhm2PbuUYRerTRrT0AqnwkNiCfz6HmDTIZHaa5Lox-0Do5QZzFDVFMN5m7k/s1600/IMG_2408.JPG"> </a>Isaiah wanted a Build-a-Bear cake....whatdya think? Wish I had more choices with icing colors. I ran out of colors.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVRh6A8QnmUjveu7hZUMRo2MDFtjCP9KtARt2mBXhm3PyasTTSxm9S-oRx_Najx9ZXGd4_EpR2nNhm2PbuUYRerTRrT0AqnwkNiCfz6HmDTIZHaa5Lox-0Do5QZzFDVFMN5m7k/s1600/IMG_2408.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVRh6A8QnmUjveu7hZUMRo2MDFtjCP9KtARt2mBXhm3PyasTTSxm9S-oRx_Najx9ZXGd4_EpR2nNhm2PbuUYRerTRrT0AqnwkNiCfz6HmDTIZHaa5Lox-0Do5QZzFDVFMN5m7k/s400/IMG_2408.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496032300057643106" border="0" /></a>The gang<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6yFrT_xfgo0LS96k0CGvW8P3IEOH4G6ctaDqvgtrvPqGTo8bXAlXVijw9WGFRQCVTRTMZZjJhFZu354tb958p-g_PFbi-SOLBVYDhCqvc695JSp218WBTgRK3KBN4ZjgqQU6U/s1600/IMG_2422.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6yFrT_xfgo0LS96k0CGvW8P3IEOH4G6ctaDqvgtrvPqGTo8bXAlXVijw9WGFRQCVTRTMZZjJhFZu354tb958p-g_PFbi-SOLBVYDhCqvc695JSp218WBTgRK3KBN4ZjgqQU6U/s400/IMG_2422.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496034520545719666" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD8vA51XX1KaeXXR-P8f1TtMZZG4wEjkByWyiPy0TvKQoZxfqLyTymhXfKwPPpOr3Yuat07kiJfCxz61A3yix3lsotqqS0JjXudEwxOSeSyH-KwqwvCR8JRaudzhBUfBzLFB9e/s1600/IMG_2426.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD8vA51XX1KaeXXR-P8f1TtMZZG4wEjkByWyiPy0TvKQoZxfqLyTymhXfKwPPpOr3Yuat07kiJfCxz61A3yix3lsotqqS0JjXudEwxOSeSyH-KwqwvCR8JRaudzhBUfBzLFB9e/s400/IMG_2426.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496034371733405954" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXhkm7kHwOX8fvWdDC6BfHYP5IstdeMENXsp1mVzmBl0wmMR-bC4NuZNsYQcm1ADC2FLld7lAc4HYUzItvXE5DyadI4MDre0QWzR_Hz4ZmtuFhG8G0-iELnN6Z512tmReEpgLF/s1600/IMG_2415.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXhkm7kHwOX8fvWdDC6BfHYP5IstdeMENXsp1mVzmBl0wmMR-bC4NuZNsYQcm1ADC2FLld7lAc4HYUzItvXE5DyadI4MDre0QWzR_Hz4ZmtuFhG8G0-iELnN6Z512tmReEpgLF/s400/IMG_2415.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496034178546417378" border="0" /></a>Isaiah's money that she used to buy her very first hamster. She names him the same name of my childhood hamster, Toby.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmjIED485r-THdQKunnJm22-ICHWpjyB4ULCDiq-VmSVYRWSKQRz_E16RCiUEznOlscLl7zoo-V2CKp8WZpkkcbh8FWBwgFDEyfppnmF6pcLZfik4iMF-1QNmYUlNUP04BzEjF/s1600/IMG_2448.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmjIED485r-THdQKunnJm22-ICHWpjyB4ULCDiq-VmSVYRWSKQRz_E16RCiUEznOlscLl7zoo-V2CKp8WZpkkcbh8FWBwgFDEyfppnmF6pcLZfik4iMF-1QNmYUlNUP04BzEjF/s400/IMG_2448.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496033915416158082" border="0" /></a>Klaudia chowin down on Cheetos<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif-paGGZP_442obJpHdl7jG0I7WuA2nwflzjHYSjlGhoKu8egLkg53RTdYhTtzOuMXy9ffLEiehSIZ3YLr1KE9YFInbTzw0wXBGBaYS_TP-RzXvbFR92ut-mmAMm-96EhAKHzH/s1600/IMG_2449.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif-paGGZP_442obJpHdl7jG0I7WuA2nwflzjHYSjlGhoKu8egLkg53RTdYhTtzOuMXy9ffLEiehSIZ3YLr1KE9YFInbTzw0wXBGBaYS_TP-RzXvbFR92ut-mmAMm-96EhAKHzH/s400/IMG_2449.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496033803190178050" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxRmGPjs8JevTiKmnIGQERYPVKqHXNlBHRa-pjnlC61zDAN-3n7NgMglhcIkhYAizCs4Tawg6IdsaxzwKaiGq8QNsiMWYVK2-jybhBfMP_3QKlfIxPMAM-3canQtu8RaamUvKU/s1600/IMG_2451.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxRmGPjs8JevTiKmnIGQERYPVKqHXNlBHRa-pjnlC61zDAN-3n7NgMglhcIkhYAizCs4Tawg6IdsaxzwKaiGq8QNsiMWYVK2-jybhBfMP_3QKlfIxPMAM-3canQtu8RaamUvKU/s400/IMG_2451.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496033674581472850" border="0" /></a>Noah surrounded by girls....but he's used to it<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh7idlcA2ZlDFEhsSyvlcn57iMnw_jF9N0ZR2gnB79_cu3ubjJPj2jHnr3S_owQLpp5l6PtkTvGIlWeCnSf6_-v3nNeRwID729xi-hHC1f651MFQD369DmLVxsOELGPqf-_ON5/s1600/IMG_2477.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh7idlcA2ZlDFEhsSyvlcn57iMnw_jF9N0ZR2gnB79_cu3ubjJPj2jHnr3S_owQLpp5l6PtkTvGIlWeCnSf6_-v3nNeRwID729xi-hHC1f651MFQD369DmLVxsOELGPqf-_ON5/s400/IMG_2477.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496033207123984034" border="0" /></a>Beautiful girlies<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXQvAPEp3FwHfzH6S7-64107DBy9A4UH_eQ9BHNVmcEOwD9tzfFqag7F_nyPbft-mcRrYW9mqwTrKmbEAAI5gdbm_lsF-n2L7mNTlXlRpSD_TjxpS_ZpcmsjH_x-vEt2rJMDtB/s1600/IMG_2472.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXQvAPEp3FwHfzH6S7-64107DBy9A4UH_eQ9BHNVmcEOwD9tzfFqag7F_nyPbft-mcRrYW9mqwTrKmbEAAI5gdbm_lsF-n2L7mNTlXlRpSD_TjxpS_ZpcmsjH_x-vEt2rJMDtB/s400/IMG_2472.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496033091292309394" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-WdmPUjO7bmybr5haUqs0p44ADw3AM65p_m2Ve-qNRauIRRrtD7PWCiOmD2vf84-MVQfFpsDAxJKuaZO_32vdFL3kHHIwStIRUFNBQDXCDF9Cc_PQPcpk26mqSGrE0j6ahwfL/s1600/IMG_2479.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-WdmPUjO7bmybr5haUqs0p44ADw3AM65p_m2Ve-qNRauIRRrtD7PWCiOmD2vf84-MVQfFpsDAxJKuaZO_32vdFL3kHHIwStIRUFNBQDXCDF9Cc_PQPcpk26mqSGrE0j6ahwfL/s400/IMG_2479.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496032850284150194" border="0" /></a>On the way home, a car full of hyper girls and Noah, just plain sick of it :P<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmt29z3R08ZIcr2BjerRN9v4MF3wjgkYyII1lsYY874LAsVzbrB1SB7iGZar11BkwWBO7sXYd-eFGjed2h-KynHSBXGoUjedDbxPuvGvgRCyWbET3ATXJ8tG06T95sbvquNi0D/s1600/IMG_2484.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmt29z3R08ZIcr2BjerRN9v4MF3wjgkYyII1lsYY874LAsVzbrB1SB7iGZar11BkwWBO7sXYd-eFGjed2h-KynHSBXGoUjedDbxPuvGvgRCyWbET3ATXJ8tG06T95sbvquNi0D/s400/IMG_2484.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496032533779278658" border="0" /></a><br /></div>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-23359617485391802322010-07-16T14:57:00.003-06:002010-07-16T15:23:16.308-06:00From heroin to methadone<span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">They say that heroin is one of the hardest drugs to come off of. It's highly addictive with severe withdrawl symptoms. Withdraws can look like:</span></span><span class="mContent"><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;"> nasty nausea, extreme vomiting, major diarrhea, wicked chills, runny nose, intense sweating, tears,</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> really bad aches and pains in the muscles and extreme restlessness. So to take someone off of heroin without putting them through h e l l and back, doctors will actually ween the heroin addict slowly off and at the same time give them a similar drug called methadone. It helps with all those symptoms...</span></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb-M32k8QDECoVie9ZrxXQsjwilKkIj8QM2wwYtDFJwnlh2LNnSfMr3Zo279dOYOQfDTslbxDldv8Z9FcM6o4FzWgijbwhdlmJ9Y9jbbvSJcYjnOMOfqpDtVov4cshetvKubkE/s1600/a30100heroin.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 269px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb-M32k8QDECoVie9ZrxXQsjwilKkIj8QM2wwYtDFJwnlh2LNnSfMr3Zo279dOYOQfDTslbxDldv8Z9FcM6o4FzWgijbwhdlmJ9Y9jbbvSJcYjnOMOfqpDtVov4cshetvKubkE/s400/a30100heroin.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5494616554102140466" border="0" /></a><br /><span class="mContent"><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);font-size:130%;" ><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">With all that said, My blog is now my replacement for my long lost friend-facebook. With the constant need to update what I'm doing and hear what others are doing. So I guess for the time being, my blog is my methadone. I have to relieve my "restlessness" aka-status updates in the form of useless random facts about my boring life LOL....sad isn't it?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">But t'is what it is....so here are my facts for the day :P:P</span></span></span><span class="mContent"><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);font-size:130%;" ><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">-I have air conditioning!!!! Like real central air that comes out of your vents! The kind where you stand in your kitchen and have freezing cold air blow on your toes to the point where you have to wear slippers in the middle of summer!</span></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGbItoyoMlF2vYTHLzCPCZHivI3kaUyV19LXfDEYgCJVEEPfSapQRAs3SIwiDiEVoVBm6xb_C7rFpkW5F-GW_gDYoj5zAhmhgNbH2NpMupt8UwLR7KM9hcXm-Yu0QNp9VTtxQm/s1600/work_cold-airconditioning.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 353px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGbItoyoMlF2vYTHLzCPCZHivI3kaUyV19LXfDEYgCJVEEPfSapQRAs3SIwiDiEVoVBm6xb_C7rFpkW5F-GW_gDYoj5zAhmhgNbH2NpMupt8UwLR7KM9hcXm-Yu0QNp9VTtxQm/s400/work_cold-airconditioning.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5494617452664553314" border="0" /></a><span class="mContent"><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);font-size:130%;" ><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">-I am officially TATTOOED! I got my first tattoo yesterday and I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! it's the word "Chosen" I will post pics of it soon :D And it is true what they say, as soon as you get your first one, you are already thinking of what to get next!!! Oh my....what have I started???!! :D:D and as a side note...I LOVE THIS BUTTERFLY!!!!!!!!</span></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4o17-7Q5xsANNIvkP4GPwG93au5SXWMOpI2swTiMuZ8txFPzUo5zOgkNjzxT7q3CjLrjN7d09q7o8KxXgrrVVpkx6OKzP-aTcIaP8zRoq0p8Vg_yKtUqJVnORyx9Y1mA1wXmr/s1600/bfly1128.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 392px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4o17-7Q5xsANNIvkP4GPwG93au5SXWMOpI2swTiMuZ8txFPzUo5zOgkNjzxT7q3CjLrjN7d09q7o8KxXgrrVVpkx6OKzP-aTcIaP8zRoq0p8Vg_yKtUqJVnORyx9Y1mA1wXmr/s400/bfly1128.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5494617259047374594" border="0" /></a><span class="mContent"><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);font-size:130%;" ><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">-Our plumbing is redicoulsy screwed up and I'm very nervous to get the bill when they are all done figuring out what the h e l l is wrong with it. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">1. Our upstairs tub and toilet to not drain/flush. </span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">2. we removed the toilet from downstairs and sink to replace lino and found a crapload of DIRT under the toilet!!! DIRT!?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">3. there has been rank smells coming from our drains for like 2 to 3 years now</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">4. we found that under our tub....NEW TUB downstairs was a TON of stale gross water! where did that come from?</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">5. we've had coffee grinds come out of our laundry room drain</span></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrvix2O3gSO3NHlpz9UJiFh-FpUko97v_6QOpuY4KW8cbE4x8FJjQzv6XJgmiFKuuxGrApBpHAHzvl0p8sOm_mAnT2-Zef1yQG3gtPCnjhGzxTB2U-osuiH8G-lr4_TJJASSJx/s1600/plubming.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 122px; height: 118px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrvix2O3gSO3NHlpz9UJiFh-FpUko97v_6QOpuY4KW8cbE4x8FJjQzv6XJgmiFKuuxGrApBpHAHzvl0p8sOm_mAnT2-Zef1yQG3gtPCnjhGzxTB2U-osuiH8G-lr4_TJJASSJx/s400/plubming.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5494616681655454002" border="0" /></a><span class="mContent"><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);font-size:130%;" ><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">My kids DISSECTED a frog today! Like cut him open, took his guts out, cut off it's head, legs, found all it's innerads and then threw it out.....EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</span></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8YIUzGtPSbo8icLM6uckarhgunjbas2kxK4zdP8hzNzTqbrgFes8SwfE9moYU0lE5tKhb3F6dnfXD6Zn1zTdNtlZcQpefY6rD8im48xkoT9dmTW4idnOBbp9cvh7nmYRlGY9W/s1600/frog.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 120px; height: 111px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8YIUzGtPSbo8icLM6uckarhgunjbas2kxK4zdP8hzNzTqbrgFes8SwfE9moYU0lE5tKhb3F6dnfXD6Zn1zTdNtlZcQpefY6rD8im48xkoT9dmTW4idnOBbp9cvh7nmYRlGY9W/s400/frog.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5494617680247443554" border="0" /></a><span class="mContent"><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 153);font-size:130%;" ><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I may be getting a job at fitness focus.... There is a guy there that has already set it up for me, to be mentored, already told his boss about me....so maybe the shaw center won't be happening just yet :D:D:D:D</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Thanks for sharing in my useless facts. The methadone is working in times of severe withdrawals :P</span></span><br /></span>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-23028056214478906872010-07-13T16:31:00.005-06:002010-07-14T16:41:19.748-06:00My opinion on the Mel Gibson rant<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">So apparently there was a tape released by his 39 year old new girlfriend of Mel ranting, swearing, calling her names etc.... Being the curious person that I am, I had to hear it for myself. I have to admit, I think that tape was disgusting....and I'm not disgusted with Mel. The media is slamming him, saying that his career is over and that he's a new level of crazy. Of course, Mel's had his share of life struggles. Addiction mostly. It's human nature to take sides, and it's dumb for me to even think I could see this relationship in it's fullness, but there's a big part of me that's really @#!*% off at HER!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">She set him up! It's so obvious that she preplanned that whole recording. And of course, the person with the least amount of self control gets slammed. He's raging mad, because he's hurt. I was able to hear his heart's cry in all the swearing and yelling. He just wants to be loved, for him, not for his money. This Oksana chick is known for being a gold digger. She's done it twice before in two other marriages. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Of course, Mel is reaping what he is sowing. He tried for 29 years to make his marriage work. He wasn't perfect. I'm sure that Robyn (his ex) went through alot with all of Mel's issues. But he's just another man, with a big hole in his heart for unconditional love. And listening to those tapes, there wasn't a single BREATH of compassion/love/support from Oksana. She gives two @#!*% about him. The fact that she put all this on the web???? What kind of a woman does that to her man? Someone after money I'd say.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">After going through a separation myself, I see things differently. If I would have heard that tape before Joe left, I would have been all against Mel.....not so now. He's wounded. He's going for healing in all the wrong places and I believe he knows this. I think he knows his mistakes. I think that he loved Robyn, very very much. I believe he wanted to be a good dad and husband, but he gave up hope on himself and felt guilty for all the crap he pulled on the ones he loved. I believe that he tried starting over, and she conned him into thinking that she really loved him, which in fact, the truth comes out now that she's in it for his money. He sees this and is very hurt.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">With all that said.....there are always two sides to the story. I'm not saying that she's all at fault, and he's a victim or she's a victim......I'm just saying that it's easy to attack the raging one. And once you listen to that actual recording, you can hear the coldness in her voice. He even says to her "you have no soul...you have NO soul!!" At least he HAS feelings!</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">If you want to hear a clip of it, you can click</span><a style="font-family: arial;" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FdEMd3a2gg"> here. </a><span style="font-family:arial;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLtm5018cv0"> </a>WARNING....it's not for young ears. lots of swearing and insulting.....</span></span>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-56514102864437706392010-07-11T14:02:00.002-06:002010-07-11T14:14:46.860-06:00Living without facebook status updatesSince I can't tell the world what I'm doing every two seconds, and since I know they care SO much, and since everyone is waiting on pins and needles to hear "what's on my mind".......<br />I'll have to release some of this on my blog....sigh....human nature is so interesting......<br /><br />-I ran home from the church today, and I have one sore hip flexor and one sore ankle. It sucks when I can't run without pain.<br />-on the bright side, I came home and ate sushi and an asian salad...totally addicted to those premade salads with pinapples, almonds etc. It's only 150 cals per serving (plus tuna of course!)<br />-We need a sitter for lifegroup tonight! So if you are reading this and wanna come wrangle our rugrats for 2.5 hours, give us a call!<br /><br />on a more deeper level:<br />-Something clicked yesterday for me. Realizing that I totally define myself by outward circumstances, people and things. When in fact, my core worth in internal......(im sure this is a no brainer for most people and so many people have been saying this to me for so long, but i just needed to be ready to hear it)<br />-have hope again for the first time in a while for myself.<br />-am learning to value myself<br />-am learning that I am a person separate from all other things and people.<br />-learning that it really wasn't my fault, and starting to let that actually sink in<br />-wanting more and more to be free......and<span style="font-weight: bold;"> i want it for me, and not someone else.</span>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-55503911277917413102010-07-07T22:35:00.002-06:002010-07-07T22:43:24.118-06:00My life in point formI love these kind of posts. they are easy, to the point and it will relieve some of the withdrawls I'm having being without facebook :)<br /><br />-We picked the paint for downstairs. Our 3 year old basement is getting renovated!<br />-Since we went color happy/crazy when we first bought the house, we are toning it down with some normal colors :)<br />-Taupe in our bedroom/dark chocolate trim.<br />-Noah's room almost got moved upstairs, but we quickly decided to keep him in his room.<br />-His room will also be taupe. He's a big boy now, time to move away from green apple and sky blue.<br />-our bathroom is getting a new tile looking multi colored gray....YES, I said gray lino.<br />-our bathroom floor will be complimented with a nice greenish gray. <br />-I GET AN ACTUAL TOILET PAPER ROLL! i WON'T HAVE TO PUT THE ROLL ON THE FLOOR, ON THE SIDE OF THE TUB ANYMORE! (Big highlight!)<br />-We've decided to use the opportunity and paint our kitchen cupboards downstairs before the carpet is laid. A deep dark bitter chocolate is the color.<br />-Our front window is getting replaced due to the massive amounts of water that comes into our living room everytime it rains.<br />-And the office is finally going to be turned into an actual office and not a junk room. <br /><br />Now for the Waldherr's to pull all of the above off will be a miracle. And when and if we do.....don't call us for at least 6 months, cause we will be resting :PCarebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-27776840513589304742010-07-03T14:22:00.030-06:002010-07-06T12:30:49.521-06:00CANADA DAY!<div style="text-align: center;">Getting ready! Apparently, tattoos can go anywhere<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_OMXJYo9Kq9mUpOOPb_vXwzKeKOneKgj0K0K_esqSyM9sYDmyn3N_BSZugM-IS5RF_2U0DF0wA7i8Y1lEMa9mAQ7hbvwHfv4eGF3aHg3qKgiT5xt_7ofwIwSAEKHt-HOS_oWO/s1600/IMG_2279.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_OMXJYo9Kq9mUpOOPb_vXwzKeKOneKgj0K0K_esqSyM9sYDmyn3N_BSZugM-IS5RF_2U0DF0wA7i8Y1lEMa9mAQ7hbvwHfv4eGF3aHg3qKgiT5xt_7ofwIwSAEKHt-HOS_oWO/s320/IMG_2279.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490859817817734722" border="0" /></a>Faithfulness, tattoos done<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj54nD8d2BTWOK3tFfedoRJP35SfE9iruZuV5CzeUVnsRR0QdWsc61KIJbIKMkopoqCsu03I036J-XLOMReYEGDTbMPzi7YSIzNXCzfjOiilzf5ohGe0bVCpmyX3XYOi_6CmGCy/s1600/IMG_2275.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj54nD8d2BTWOK3tFfedoRJP35SfE9iruZuV5CzeUVnsRR0QdWsc61KIJbIKMkopoqCsu03I036J-XLOMReYEGDTbMPzi7YSIzNXCzfjOiilzf5ohGe0bVCpmyX3XYOi_6CmGCy/s320/IMG_2275.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490859686319170850" border="0" /></a>Man! Tattoos do not come off easy, fun to put on tho!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw0RVLUIQti51hO_x7tVZ-OjPKSNdftoHN_dgcVWyNAEL4n69Y5ZRZBG_Cg6FYSWkuB_TqnX-IYA71Y5HBWJlEHYOr2EuTTIuG00Iz2v454tR5wekQyK716j7S3HNsEFukXSxO/s1600/IMG_2283.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw0RVLUIQti51hO_x7tVZ-OjPKSNdftoHN_dgcVWyNAEL4n69Y5ZRZBG_Cg6FYSWkuB_TqnX-IYA71Y5HBWJlEHYOr2EuTTIuG00Iz2v454tR5wekQyK716j7S3HNsEFukXSxO/s320/IMG_2283.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490859553779291794" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3G6bNkbM7BhC3R0hjNpTzvSTTSoum94SniHyYZwUBGLd4GzgAFdANUNZ2LCABwxwVWNcp98C_xLbSCarxjKxK671FEhvWuwEe6oFllI6f_j5WP4r4DDvlPWe_gproKAGK2an2/s1600/IMG_2281.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3G6bNkbM7BhC3R0hjNpTzvSTTSoum94SniHyYZwUBGLd4GzgAFdANUNZ2LCABwxwVWNcp98C_xLbSCarxjKxK671FEhvWuwEe6oFllI6f_j5WP4r4DDvlPWe_gproKAGK2an2/s320/IMG_2281.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490859443958788530" border="0" /></a>On the drive there<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE6pm5EdWDsb6Akv3j5OCX5fZjFZR7XNuZtoXuwFcu_Lu68V5VAKRA3SgE-XrXb65oVBRnbIBsQs3WszJuJcoVBmGpHd2gyyzUNX1eWq1pkff6YjUzPwp_Y_0mEat6xx41339k/s1600/IMG_2286.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE6pm5EdWDsb6Akv3j5OCX5fZjFZR7XNuZtoXuwFcu_Lu68V5VAKRA3SgE-XrXb65oVBRnbIBsQs3WszJuJcoVBmGpHd2gyyzUNX1eWq1pkff6YjUzPwp_Y_0mEat6xx41339k/s320/IMG_2286.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490859299482944898" border="0" /></a>Leave it to mom to go all out<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM36Z52nSSGYTDQ7lyDUq01GzltsFeZzOvf6OKE8YtiwHHEaB0KE9A6qxp2GPaYsdzYb4u177UZ0cWF_DG9vF8TUWw_4adoz8t7BO9mL7QL4Aez6WQ67eh7SuXagdN20agHj4t/s1600/IMG_2290.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM36Z52nSSGYTDQ7lyDUq01GzltsFeZzOvf6OKE8YtiwHHEaB0KE9A6qxp2GPaYsdzYb4u177UZ0cWF_DG9vF8TUWw_4adoz8t7BO9mL7QL4Aez6WQ67eh7SuXagdN20agHj4t/s320/IMG_2290.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490859143587074210" border="0" /></a>Nin and Sarah little clones<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja8wBkUTqGTs9tTYpDYBEpuSjInvB4uQSSMXbHe0ZGqhQUfJpu_DZYOF9zNn0-2_S-6CtV_0UOaxcoOLJr7-iUwvq3NUhkZ_Bl2EA2Yf87ugm5STaHax4ZFQH_0sW-e5-xB6aO/s1600/IMG_2291.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja8wBkUTqGTs9tTYpDYBEpuSjInvB4uQSSMXbHe0ZGqhQUfJpu_DZYOF9zNn0-2_S-6CtV_0UOaxcoOLJr7-iUwvq3NUhkZ_Bl2EA2Yf87ugm5STaHax4ZFQH_0sW-e5-xB6aO/s320/IMG_2291.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490859004829040866" border="0" /></a>That actually looks like I'm pushing Caleb's wheelchair :(<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHM6fk1SE4nOSeRbqRkSMd1gKZdFXAYqPSx9opTuKMk8DFMOycaU_RGtsp_byEgr39_5zZxVS7eCNa-riAefXCpMXBVyVHVcP7hjj-sCen4OJXQjw0rnU3PRhXXltL-J4TeNB1/s1600/IMG_2292.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHM6fk1SE4nOSeRbqRkSMd1gKZdFXAYqPSx9opTuKMk8DFMOycaU_RGtsp_byEgr39_5zZxVS7eCNa-riAefXCpMXBVyVHVcP7hjj-sCen4OJXQjw0rnU3PRhXXltL-J4TeNB1/s320/IMG_2292.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490858861782597202" border="0" /></a>Joseph, made in Canada<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMt4PmOc5qjK79kxZ7ROdNLPe_nRfojw5MLcJNW1z4ccIb2JDQ8cYE3fXmtjxBvF_BPcekzShf_6vU9a5fR-sGrwgoa7pKgAuxtUcUqWp1cgMANXkvq9ljyfOyVJh10LGukUni/s1600/IMG_2293.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMt4PmOc5qjK79kxZ7ROdNLPe_nRfojw5MLcJNW1z4ccIb2JDQ8cYE3fXmtjxBvF_BPcekzShf_6vU9a5fR-sGrwgoa7pKgAuxtUcUqWp1cgMANXkvq9ljyfOyVJh10LGukUni/s320/IMG_2293.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490858728808090962" border="0" /></a>My dad and his astro rockets :D<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDPnt3QmU4KGQ2fAmzae1oojvi7dJm6HJ6lZvib3AxAC94et9oDTDRfR6oRlLJK7OUgkkV1hVc_mFIhnpwZ9QZfMZHoQc4L2LPnPnMqA_KxgoEgJ1YcPILOQ7sRHCEqJ8fzeAw/s1600/IMG_2297.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDPnt3QmU4KGQ2fAmzae1oojvi7dJm6HJ6lZvib3AxAC94et9oDTDRfR6oRlLJK7OUgkkV1hVc_mFIhnpwZ9QZfMZHoQc4L2LPnPnMqA_KxgoEgJ1YcPILOQ7sRHCEqJ8fzeAw/s320/IMG_2297.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490858577048481922" border="0" /></a>Can there be a family gathering without Timmy's coffee? nah<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho-M7Jn2B6EWppg9C_MIA2V-9kXMUT6WWnDKBaaTwJZ6H07SdaEpboxMg8feGuzvnmkM84FZLK55pYOQ8ziDaqlBzGg-9amg9YdqHP5diV-qAohKlc2UNBtIOvNSctJWXhICVk/s1600/IMG_2298.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho-M7Jn2B6EWppg9C_MIA2V-9kXMUT6WWnDKBaaTwJZ6H07SdaEpboxMg8feGuzvnmkM84FZLK55pYOQ8ziDaqlBzGg-9amg9YdqHP5diV-qAohKlc2UNBtIOvNSctJWXhICVk/s320/IMG_2298.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490857480033503970" border="0" /></a>Me and my Sheesha<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh11QZMtJefti-FqEIVqC6LTo0J_LLprS5P_-ibcTPIS516a3s4baSbR7-rJIqzBMGxK9lgVoAKX9H7FLOdOd8LTzvU3Y1nARINlCSSeTLQ4Y19LaJx_1qBWHEtgVHWv7jolWTV/s1600/IMG_2299.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh11QZMtJefti-FqEIVqC6LTo0J_LLprS5P_-ibcTPIS516a3s4baSbR7-rJIqzBMGxK9lgVoAKX9H7FLOdOd8LTzvU3Y1nARINlCSSeTLQ4Y19LaJx_1qBWHEtgVHWv7jolWTV/s320/IMG_2299.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490854986906470962" border="0" /></a>Nin has a dove like light on her head!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyCGPUBfL6voHgY1Uklc7XWw19nzJY_oUQ_5h9Hn5cOyHoF0PuZAOGCHD9AwZ8uotPfiQC3C0hbyYYxrIYTHHud-16Yxz9vaoQEWRiz2HyUx5UjpQ_-QdH8NNUs-6yKZXHsFnT/s1600/IMG_2301.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyCGPUBfL6voHgY1Uklc7XWw19nzJY_oUQ_5h9Hn5cOyHoF0PuZAOGCHD9AwZ8uotPfiQC3C0hbyYYxrIYTHHud-16Yxz9vaoQEWRiz2HyUx5UjpQ_-QdH8NNUs-6yKZXHsFnT/s320/IMG_2301.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490861584903180434" border="0" /></a>Family!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBBaBf3tl2gXA35F9T2bZGEiwaIL2-_IxDEDcvINrdrGpv5Wu8Rhq4u1aR1ujIR8uM9Xjykq99h1wWx9DKWDg9ZlCk6f-Ec8Sek4bzy8x1QOv71Iy7zs-eIpTRwurbprxg0OYW/s1600/IMG_2302.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBBaBf3tl2gXA35F9T2bZGEiwaIL2-_IxDEDcvINrdrGpv5Wu8Rhq4u1aR1ujIR8uM9Xjykq99h1wWx9DKWDg9ZlCk6f-Ec8Sek4bzy8x1QOv71Iy7zs-eIpTRwurbprxg0OYW/s320/IMG_2302.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490854026001250642" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkHfErwzwTeS-zLVUpNG54SGzC1fBeKRYArA97IP-d_DTwedHdKJiJ2Agh4Z8gPwwQlu21RkkN_E3mQGz2ZQEW3N6hQ6-BY_XX42yJaw_hL7onjX9zXLRsOWR8HL1e5C1kmd9j/s1600/IMG_2303.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkHfErwzwTeS-zLVUpNG54SGzC1fBeKRYArA97IP-d_DTwedHdKJiJ2Agh4Z8gPwwQlu21RkkN_E3mQGz2ZQEW3N6hQ6-BY_XX42yJaw_hL7onjX9zXLRsOWR8HL1e5C1kmd9j/s320/IMG_2303.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490853856073849298" border="0" /></a>This was my raincape when I was little! My parents bought it when "galaxyland" was "fantasy land" in the West Edmonton Mall.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ_2Su5iH9GDpgwDx5XyXuiJrsIo3PZ99cmg-Tr8RtQoYep4IQb9dCu41XbjuE7CGqiDWyEaK0g4yr3WKg2GW6ArH2j0NGxU568wqL3vbPJCBU4fWVdXgPKp8g1otSx2wRpdrJ/s1600/IMG_2309.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ_2Su5iH9GDpgwDx5XyXuiJrsIo3PZ99cmg-Tr8RtQoYep4IQb9dCu41XbjuE7CGqiDWyEaK0g4yr3WKg2GW6ArH2j0NGxU568wqL3vbPJCBU4fWVdXgPKp8g1otSx2wRpdrJ/s320/IMG_2309.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490853659644354738" border="0" /></a>I love my Camille!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL5TVIaN4DqqExitCUUOFGvkqVPWlrY28drA5tCij52BzCGXUPCTkliVI9z6Og2cA33d4s5e6DAj82Sqn9sqJnjmdJo8CwnhdUKG6aYkaCGElnWKAO1hWEDvwPj2st9YQEF5Rc/s1600/IMG_2311.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL5TVIaN4DqqExitCUUOFGvkqVPWlrY28drA5tCij52BzCGXUPCTkliVI9z6Og2cA33d4s5e6DAj82Sqn9sqJnjmdJo8CwnhdUKG6aYkaCGElnWKAO1hWEDvwPj2st9YQEF5Rc/s320/IMG_2311.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490853459702411458" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8T1X6k1jwQOSixw5qawrsu2luD1y774CICkJ9ulEvHtBSg0cu1gUN8K9VjVFk7vFXEkNzhdkIF5fUDKdJLpkzZxKK6erM3E5pblGBD8CFsoPmMNp5vhmz9ndLpy0YvvXbGomz/s1600/IMG_2313.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8T1X6k1jwQOSixw5qawrsu2luD1y774CICkJ9ulEvHtBSg0cu1gUN8K9VjVFk7vFXEkNzhdkIF5fUDKdJLpkzZxKK6erM3E5pblGBD8CFsoPmMNp5vhmz9ndLpy0YvvXbGomz/s320/IMG_2313.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490853254426419010" border="0" /></a>Team Moore<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidAQloPPLTYFUcFuN2bsWHVdCEQFhwRUpCUJ1Jgyl9U2qdjQv-4yaTEzDLk7vgN28-TUqafE82AnkUUFDGhcga0D_mbUoeIx3NRr3sGb2GFepEp4_jzAGr4IglVXd1YFxYqF1e/s1600/IMG_2314.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidAQloPPLTYFUcFuN2bsWHVdCEQFhwRUpCUJ1Jgyl9U2qdjQv-4yaTEzDLk7vgN28-TUqafE82AnkUUFDGhcga0D_mbUoeIx3NRr3sGb2GFepEp4_jzAGr4IglVXd1YFxYqF1e/s320/IMG_2314.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490853044039119810" border="0" /></a>My cuz and his rockin girlfriend Carrie<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin_uS4nI6uOZp8j18SchQ6aXKit9DZeOLYXimhefWNUQxia14JEHOPgw42-d9LY5btZb5FLNj5pe10sEGM2b0PgT0U9NTf9kDpHCoxurR0tctTs60GuxhuCOTL1_rkBpoYUo8R/s1600/IMG_2315.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin_uS4nI6uOZp8j18SchQ6aXKit9DZeOLYXimhefWNUQxia14JEHOPgw42-d9LY5btZb5FLNj5pe10sEGM2b0PgT0U9NTf9kDpHCoxurR0tctTs60GuxhuCOTL1_rkBpoYUo8R/s320/IMG_2315.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490852648036023730" border="0" /></a>More family!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuZ1tfNlJUUU0B8FROz_biHQQNgfG6M7-L3KWrR7RT5PtaQ3QNKTYE4j9mt2JVZ9H44tixWJPQNEmqLDRkUSLFndYaqnWztogGop0YQzE0HeRBIUnT-dN-9X6ZYa_hlLeqiids/s1600/IMG_2316.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuZ1tfNlJUUU0B8FROz_biHQQNgfG6M7-L3KWrR7RT5PtaQ3QNKTYE4j9mt2JVZ9H44tixWJPQNEmqLDRkUSLFndYaqnWztogGop0YQzE0HeRBIUnT-dN-9X6ZYa_hlLeqiids/s320/IMG_2316.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490852448053194834" border="0" /></a>Nothin like grandma cuddles<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirOOfV5l4_gq1d8w3WVZgYx0pFGUi1MC-yIbmB3Ilx7agHNrEAfti-tallE9XNi_9m_a3GeEbLd_WfPgu6SDohGG88Fl1xkOb1M7_ZwuNkHsKrEO8CIV3dJR_I3wrOoCD5hLUF/s1600/IMG_2317.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirOOfV5l4_gq1d8w3WVZgYx0pFGUi1MC-yIbmB3Ilx7agHNrEAfti-tallE9XNi_9m_a3GeEbLd_WfPgu6SDohGG88Fl1xkOb1M7_ZwuNkHsKrEO8CIV3dJR_I3wrOoCD5hLUF/s320/IMG_2317.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490852256560655410" border="0" /></a>Team BOY Moore<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk1LIk50tclcFF-zOY_ECZ9FoJMBSnUA_5ROV3I1bDBQ2j7vpCpZ2PjCeivImoBdNkCNT9LVgKaYU23PHOgfI4KKjVDPaT61hw19k_IuMa2RtTaSkufKwrrKUdqWdnAggG2zKO/s1600/IMG_2318.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk1LIk50tclcFF-zOY_ECZ9FoJMBSnUA_5ROV3I1bDBQ2j7vpCpZ2PjCeivImoBdNkCNT9LVgKaYU23PHOgfI4KKjVDPaT61hw19k_IuMa2RtTaSkufKwrrKUdqWdnAggG2zKO/s320/IMG_2318.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490852091372125186" border="0" /></a>Me daddy<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4DIYKx8zQdqbIDfZb8Olp09R8jPS0ZOcvosOx3vDy_pYV5A2uB6v1YAeNKBOQcMgC7mNR6lIqRzb5vzQFMajtUeNPx_rsVxPJDOHJklNoYJBf5rHT5glV9r_E7ncOZE-DgLad/s1600/IMG_2319.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4DIYKx8zQdqbIDfZb8Olp09R8jPS0ZOcvosOx3vDy_pYV5A2uB6v1YAeNKBOQcMgC7mNR6lIqRzb5vzQFMajtUeNPx_rsVxPJDOHJklNoYJBf5rHT5glV9r_E7ncOZE-DgLad/s320/IMG_2319.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490851954001466882" border="0" /></a>Peek!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE9rBPIVb_o70JpLENuU5P5a5Xl5QZqSnsrLun9rJhBO6j1lVT8UekQo_rECy3dW9nZY8RygqRClCDHj2RahwDLElFdPVsxu0257Qd2ihLDNQu0Kt5-4M7D60DBX0UKOm9XvLQ/s1600/IMG_2321.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE9rBPIVb_o70JpLENuU5P5a5Xl5QZqSnsrLun9rJhBO6j1lVT8UekQo_rECy3dW9nZY8RygqRClCDHj2RahwDLElFdPVsxu0257Qd2ihLDNQu0Kt5-4M7D60DBX0UKOm9XvLQ/s320/IMG_2321.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490851787208771298" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZcVhQ2cwy3sn48x-8crRWNWnE71W2eNSa6OFE98H8FPJJJ1xJLBAXX7-jKeeeKsnzeEeMXoGQrWJh4-PkcDtBaq5wbUHQhI9Pclo_ClSuVdr2TBTbZRtAoCdeXCb9zxkyB1Fz/s1600/IMG_2322.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZcVhQ2cwy3sn48x-8crRWNWnE71W2eNSa6OFE98H8FPJJJ1xJLBAXX7-jKeeeKsnzeEeMXoGQrWJh4-PkcDtBaq5wbUHQhI9Pclo_ClSuVdr2TBTbZRtAoCdeXCb9zxkyB1Fz/s320/IMG_2322.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490851638272470498" border="0" /></a>Watchin the fireworks<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZVsZ3x_A0aVBCdXyfgMR4PLPlPA3FpeEaD_HAy12pWdoYkfFzeJKxEejiYEbJB6n3gR0uMNh97M4giCxK03kCb92mht3rdd_mWUgj2_j3JXnys1vyJyMju_G_KVISqRE1hT9u/s1600/IMG_2328.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZVsZ3x_A0aVBCdXyfgMR4PLPlPA3FpeEaD_HAy12pWdoYkfFzeJKxEejiYEbJB6n3gR0uMNh97M4giCxK03kCb92mht3rdd_mWUgj2_j3JXnys1vyJyMju_G_KVISqRE1hT9u/s320/IMG_2328.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489778456854366674" border="0" /></a>Elishah a bit scared...<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs7DUHIeUsEMU4z84GxC9wLKPU9NxTT1N4jBGVn-o-Mv3WGLQnasT9_H2UoKdC9AuO7T8wy_WY0wpwN-08NOsoLh8aJEjvhUb9c7lxOB6G4aZoWl7tgpE8RpNtA-ZKKYtCgxPx/s1600/IMG_2330.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs7DUHIeUsEMU4z84GxC9wLKPU9NxTT1N4jBGVn-o-Mv3WGLQnasT9_H2UoKdC9AuO7T8wy_WY0wpwN-08NOsoLh8aJEjvhUb9c7lxOB6G4aZoWl7tgpE8RpNtA-ZKKYtCgxPx/s320/IMG_2330.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489778165724926514" border="0" /></a><br /></div>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-61153245854041825672010-07-01T18:58:00.015-06:002010-07-01T19:24:31.063-06:00The 2nd annual Waldherr Bridgecity boogie<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Our second year! Last year, I ran the 5km with my super cousin Holly. As much as I totally enjoyed that run, I missed my family so much! Joe had all the kids by himself. So I promised them that I would never run separately from them again!</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrX_mvL08cRBbzkgjhkFnK9GF1WmdBKwYSwBtQmsnVuzD7d_CmdpGAfHy7d1A1fH2qS1BlSO-14ey_LCsjJ2-lD_kjeAK4oV1HEIVizZXQ2GhoDGILXpqyedkjJCBLsRJ6Dm9r/s1600/IMG_2243.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrX_mvL08cRBbzkgjhkFnK9GF1WmdBKwYSwBtQmsnVuzD7d_CmdpGAfHy7d1A1fH2qS1BlSO-14ey_LCsjJ2-lD_kjeAK4oV1HEIVizZXQ2GhoDGILXpqyedkjJCBLsRJ6Dm9r/s320/IMG_2243.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489107934865024434" border="0" /></a></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The kids, all stoked! Faith is so proud that she had to tell everyone that she wasn't going in the stroller this year, but running with the big kids!</span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYMFpDb6vs9FjKanhyaQybLMOdO6bqzAbBqPYht9Gw7aGc0OhRhdxRfcerdZns_-WomUH86Vmn1il1t7xoKR7Fi7Y9C3y0qVVk5cfjIgHqONAhhY5RgVluA3VaRYq9ixDEADYB/s1600/IMG_2240.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYMFpDb6vs9FjKanhyaQybLMOdO6bqzAbBqPYht9Gw7aGc0OhRhdxRfcerdZns_-WomUH86Vmn1il1t7xoKR7Fi7Y9C3y0qVVk5cfjIgHqONAhhY5RgVluA3VaRYq9ixDEADYB/s320/IMG_2240.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489107326305914290" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family: arial;">We met more of the hope team! </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvXW5Fte6ippLVpGrIFAyscTweo9nS2NVcsp8Xlp07Mfv2SlhOFJciXAuyQKbZrCviI8pEA7ilHTpkgCbECWWrox7TEbZsBu78Ce4WAx1iyAgrNvorlxIFlNTLAD9AEUzo7q_z/s1600/IMG_2245.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvXW5Fte6ippLVpGrIFAyscTweo9nS2NVcsp8Xlp07Mfv2SlhOFJciXAuyQKbZrCviI8pEA7ilHTpkgCbECWWrox7TEbZsBu78Ce4WAx1iyAgrNvorlxIFlNTLAD9AEUzo7q_z/s320/IMG_2245.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489108137640795218" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family: arial;">Faith asking every two seconds, "when are we gonna start mom??!"</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj77_rcLyv-isd-3Kisf7jd_cEHg_UuXxj_3m8POhRJ1cyesRGnaSdxgJLHkCyCJIphS0fKk-l1MjZtgd7PIwOnAq1UamsQAev3-xVtgGeAGLXQTOyaI0i_UVMiI0DjDrKByJ5W/s1600/IMG_2246.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj77_rcLyv-isd-3Kisf7jd_cEHg_UuXxj_3m8POhRJ1cyesRGnaSdxgJLHkCyCJIphS0fKk-l1MjZtgd7PIwOnAq1UamsQAev3-xVtgGeAGLXQTOyaI0i_UVMiI0DjDrKByJ5W/s320/IMG_2246.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489108624827013410" border="0" /></a></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Joe and Noah took off in a flash, leaving the girls in their dust trail! they finished the 2km run without stopping one second. They were gracious enough to come back to get us later :)</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiftbl5lC9_ZgV0P5RauWPBcTt5fNJWLG1WkyiMZGn-m3-9mrVOb1yu08GtGhKYCGVWKw3FvyTR568M8ogE9JRhq5K2zrvn-7GiRWWZ9xsLETLz23RvamHBjIf2PqF-DVnSdmxW/s1600/IMG_2248.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiftbl5lC9_ZgV0P5RauWPBcTt5fNJWLG1WkyiMZGn-m3-9mrVOb1yu08GtGhKYCGVWKw3FvyTR568M8ogE9JRhq5K2zrvn-7GiRWWZ9xsLETLz23RvamHBjIf2PqF-DVnSdmxW/s320/IMG_2248.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489108794446973154" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family: arial;">Go team Waldherr!</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYcKjSbMrrIjimPnr8_6RmG83VQ6bsjZBMUtACzw9IcNU0giBwixX1vikxRMMbhleJLv2xYv6u6TZIVUYzrGCH1l_yGOSRpfSpgW8cppDgaqsBM9s1oSVcbfJEvbtTXqshwgfg/s1600/IMG_2249.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYcKjSbMrrIjimPnr8_6RmG83VQ6bsjZBMUtACzw9IcNU0giBwixX1vikxRMMbhleJLv2xYv6u6TZIVUYzrGCH1l_yGOSRpfSpgW8cppDgaqsBM9s1oSVcbfJEvbtTXqshwgfg/s320/IMG_2249.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489109060872685202" border="0" /></a></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">It's finally time!!!! Faith is officially happy and excited!</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsYfyse0GOGVykiBxNtZ0jtGHsgsefcBljTeEq4fa-45DDhGAiWzMVOQ59C5kVFgj8u2tUnMQA4g0idbyb0nBDqP094PB0XL2ns8FsnwM15tnA4mHibDa5tPlLmQlKS7F8jxRj/s1600/IMG_2251.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsYfyse0GOGVykiBxNtZ0jtGHsgsefcBljTeEq4fa-45DDhGAiWzMVOQ59C5kVFgj8u2tUnMQA4g0idbyb0nBDqP094PB0XL2ns8FsnwM15tnA4mHibDa5tPlLmQlKS7F8jxRj/s320/IMG_2251.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489109420402712402" border="0" /></a></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYL8Q7RkYk2fzjeTqGTFb4nM2ScIRQlop-Se_kTDt7osx9Qr7mvlcGRd7PyV1uF6HKFZv29ZWVgXLlAv4VSz8EwHTinxOgy6Yi65lmXyrLj5tJ74jV7uIH8Anre7YdFemqfBrT/s1600/IMG_2250.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYL8Q7RkYk2fzjeTqGTFb4nM2ScIRQlop-Se_kTDt7osx9Qr7mvlcGRd7PyV1uF6HKFZv29ZWVgXLlAv4VSz8EwHTinxOgy6Yi65lmXyrLj5tJ74jV7uIH8Anre7YdFemqfBrT/s320/IMG_2250.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489109223640353250" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family: arial;">Trying hard! She did awesome!</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhfncTT6MfBLwLh25FwFSefXXQ4wSv09yaqjScG-1rekDDVh5r4JBLTvB0ORN9MBIxilwYGzOul4VyayTE9SLcIQJHjNpJLa7SrCRSif62xNUPdpI1561XBcCgNITwudWD3-un/s1600/IMG_2256.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhfncTT6MfBLwLh25FwFSefXXQ4wSv09yaqjScG-1rekDDVh5r4JBLTvB0ORN9MBIxilwYGzOul4VyayTE9SLcIQJHjNpJLa7SrCRSif62xNUPdpI1561XBcCgNITwudWD3-un/s320/IMG_2256.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489110484977402642" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family: arial;">My girlies runnin just like their momma!</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3uWsyt5wK_q8-ne1u_vP6slfvXPTS8BJ6nwnoqLWXqQkmOXY3RuOP135JBIjqaZbgnAbgLT6Qs6925eLGQ9V48LXScxunEzMyIAPzjD4cijDSopBhDixx5DsHuTDO-GoNvr_d/s1600/IMG_2253.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3uWsyt5wK_q8-ne1u_vP6slfvXPTS8BJ6nwnoqLWXqQkmOXY3RuOP135JBIjqaZbgnAbgLT6Qs6925eLGQ9V48LXScxunEzMyIAPzjD4cijDSopBhDixx5DsHuTDO-GoNvr_d/s320/IMG_2253.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489110170635073810" border="0" /></a></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">After the race! The kids love their little treat bags of oranges, fruit snacks and granola bars.</span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivFDaQnXvEJYmLljjAcCOGhwA5URJh1Smw3H3lz8gwnDUp9AM6tMUQXp_qC324_U3pnerv49tliMztdlVJktlSgeqtvwODNlrDh_gRyEphlq9nTGgPOL6isBCnNtyJMn7-pZwR/s1600/IMG_2259.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivFDaQnXvEJYmLljjAcCOGhwA5URJh1Smw3H3lz8gwnDUp9AM6tMUQXp_qC324_U3pnerv49tliMztdlVJktlSgeqtvwODNlrDh_gRyEphlq9nTGgPOL6isBCnNtyJMn7-pZwR/s320/IMG_2259.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489110865552984706" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family: arial;">aaaaaa.....shade! </span></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-family: arial;" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmp6dLL-hgX84BTHqeTzo02pyLdcbjk9nz6l1vhNqO35fLorjA-J4D3e_AiQEzWp97ScEiZdhWEe_Q0Jdid8jS2YQc9HTIe_-dmq_WmBRM2K3jMJA6PR2qAS1AMhiKKJ_5Rut9/s1600/IMG_2261.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmp6dLL-hgX84BTHqeTzo02pyLdcbjk9nz6l1vhNqO35fLorjA-J4D3e_AiQEzWp97ScEiZdhWEe_Q0Jdid8jS2YQc9HTIe_-dmq_WmBRM2K3jMJA6PR2qAS1AMhiKKJ_5Rut9/s320/IMG_2261.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489111962630283794" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family: arial;">Next year, we were thinking of the 5km. we will see, depending on the youngest Waldherr joining us at age 4.</span></span><br /><br /><br /></div>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-35285846366460689952010-06-27T19:17:00.003-06:002010-06-27T19:26:44.167-06:00my night tonightSo, my father in law comes over for supper. it was a nice chicken with potatoes, gravy...etc.....the night is nice so we decide to go to the park and then stop for icecream.<br /><br />On the way to the park, I can start to feel my "heartburn" flair up. I wonder now what would have happened if I had had some pepto bismol in my purse, like I usually do. At the first sign of an "attack" (as I call it) I do whatever I can to stop it. But tonight, I didn't have anything. I knew that my supper did not go down well. It was getting stuck all through the meal. By the time we got to the park, i was in a fair bit of pain. I had 2 extra strength zantac and that was it. I needed some milk or something to help these pills go down. <br /><br />Left the family at the park, drove to the nearest store to buy a milk. open it and drink it before i pay for it......the pain level goes from an 8 to a 5. ok, maybe this will pass. drive back to the park, sipping on my milk, waiting for the zantac to do something. nothing.....it starts to get worse again. My pain goes to a 9 and I start to panic. thinking about running behind a building to throw up whatever is stuck in my esophagus to ease the pain. Joe comes to check on me, and I told him what I was thinking. He told me to give it a try. ( we were a long way from home) <br /><br />So here I am, behind a building, crouching down on my hands and knees throwing up into a bush......it was lovely. Being a recovering bulimic, the puke didn't bother me so much as being in public, hiding, and wondering if anyone saw me, what on earth would they think??!<br /><br />No relief......pain stays at an 8/9 and I had to leave my family at the park to come home. To gulp pepto/try to eat crackers/throw up some more......now my pain is sitting at a 3 or so.<br /><br />Is this what I have to look forward to? only for it to progress and get worse? God help me.<br />:(Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-25544769861190857642010-06-23T08:55:00.003-06:002010-06-23T09:38:44.053-06:00sister see sister do<h2 class="date-header"><span><br /></span></h2> <a name="7826204550077597909"></a> <div class="post-header"> </div> <span style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">1. when you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">I get NEW hair via my genius JILLA!!! Appointment is T-3.5hours!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">2. do you miss anyone right now?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">Honestly, I miss myself. I have somehows vacated life and don't know where I went. I hope I can find myself soon...and when I find me, I hope that I like who I find.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">3. if you could move anywhere else, would you?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">These days, moving to a secluded island where I would have no distractions, nothing calling me to pour milk, do laundry, take down xmas lights, worry about basement reno bills....etc.....so that I could actually HAVE the time to see if I can find my missing self. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">4. if you could choose, what would your last meal be?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">Right off the bat, a meal that wouldn't get stuck. But I would choose whole wheat spagetti topped with pinapples, onions, mushrooms, chicken, tomatoes, in a spicy curry sauce with a side of bread dipped in olive oil and balsamic vinegar...hmmmm</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">5. what famous person, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">Right now, it would be my new friend Jasmine. But I get to have my first coffee with her tomorrow night and NOT stand her up :P</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">6. what was the last book you read?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);"> Actually completed? Not sure. Lately, I've had the </span></span></span></span><span style="visibility: visible; color: rgb(255, 153, 255);font-family:arial;" id="main" ><span style="visibility: visible;" id="search"><span class="f"></span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);font-family:arial;" >tendency to read till it hurts, or hits a nerve, than put down the book for a breather, or maybe you might call it running away.</span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(17, 17, 17);font-family:arial;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">7. what was the last movie you watched?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">Daybreakers. which is weird that I'm watching movies about vampires....i actually liked it.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">8. what was the last song you heard?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">haha....my neighbour across the street has been blaring "Airplanes" by B.O.B. over and over and over. So i think that was the last song i heard. Other than that, it's most likely an eminem song.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">9. what is your dream vacation?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">Somewhere on a beach, in a teenie bikini soaking up rays with my hubby :D</span><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">10. what is the next trip you will take?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">We're going to the Waldherr family reunion in August. So look out Yorkton, here we come!!! :P</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">11. did you ever go to camp?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">I had to laugh at my sister's memories of camp. I forgot that Lance made you drink your gravol! hahaha! My memories of camp were sneaking out of the cabin late at night, drinking whiskey that my boyfriend brought, getting kicked out of camp for breaking all the rules, getting caught in the boys cabins, carving my friends name into my arm with a safety pin to become blood friends (:-O) and I think there was some singing around a camp fire in there too.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">12. have you ever been in love?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">I keep thinking that I am in love, then I fall deeper and deeper.....love just keeps going.....:D Just when you think you know what love is, you go and realize it's just so much more than you think!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">13. what do you want to know about the future?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 255);"></span></span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);font-family:arial;" >that's all in the past. </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);font-family:arial;" >You mean the future. </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);font-family:arial;" >Whatever! It demonstrates precisely how time travel can be mis-used, and why the time machine must be destroyed, after we straighten all of this out. </span><br /></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(17, 17, 17);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >14. where is your best friend?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);font-family:arial;" >Currently, my best friend is at work, providing wonderfully for his family. another best friend is proabably in her backyard having a smoke smacking all the mosquitos, yet another is somewheres in willowgrove hopefully enjoying her very active, very super cute little boy....</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >15. how is your best friend?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);font-family:arial;" >I think they are all well</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >16. who is the biggest gossiper you know?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" ><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">i have to go with nin on this one, probably her. :P</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">17. what does your last text message say?</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);font-family:arial;" >Text message? call me old, but I don't even have a cell phone</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >18. what are 3 things you've always wanted to do, that you still plan to accomplish?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);font-family:arial;" >Run a marathon, finish this house!!!!! and to heal....fully and completely....</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >19. what is one thing you learned from your parents?</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);font-family:arial;" >That yard work is overrated and a waste of time and if you don't do it, someone else will. that it's better to be real than a liar. that to stay young, all you have to do is occasionally scare people, play jokes on them, even if you're the only one laughing (like putting cheese slices in shoes) and that blood is thicker than anything else.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >20. what is one thing you hope to teach to your own children?</span><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 255);"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">for sure just to be honest. with honesty, you can get through anything. and of course to know that they are loved no matter what they've done</span>.</span></span><br /></span></span></span></span>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-21610026527988490802010-05-28T20:11:00.005-06:002010-05-28T20:25:20.737-06:00<span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:180%;" >I don't post much no more. Usually I wait until I have something good to say, which you can tell, those times are very far and few between.<br /><br />So instead of waiting till I have all my @#!*% together, I'll just spit out where I'm at.<br />These days, I am down. I can feel the judgment (whether it's legit or coming from me) I just hear it in my head "why aren't you postive? where's your upbeat spirit? come on, get it together, you could be SO much worse off than you are! you have so much to be thankful for! Your heart is so ungrateful........etc......."<br /><br />The flood in our house is one thing. I think I can handle that. It's pretty overwhelming, but we've been there before and my friend Morgan said to me, "you are designed to handle chaos! you are so good with it" I still feel very much in survival mode instead of thriving mode tho. It's amazing to have my best friend right beside me through all this. Joe and I are so close now, that I can't believe how long we lived "apart"!! We are support for each other. we are laughing together, listening to each other, and when one is down, the other picks up the slack.<br /><br />But it's this diagnosis that I'm having a hard time accepting. I sense around me that people are down playing what it is and I sense the "get over it" attitude, "it's not that big a deal" But IT IS! And I am the one that has to live with it. People are just like, "well, get the surgery and it will all be better" but it won't be! achalasia has no cure and doctors can only treat half of the problem. The surgery that I am probably getting doesn't solve the problem, it only bandaids it for a time. There's a 70-90% success rate, only for a time. My surgeon said that this is the end of the line. If I get this surgery, there is nothing else they can do other than remove my entire esophagus! so that means there is a 10-30% chance I could get my whole esophagus removed! they would then move my stomach up to my throat (which is a 10% mortality rate doing that surgery)<br /><br />Call me down, say i have no faith, say I am not positve and that I'm looking at it from the wrong angle.....but this is my life! I have 4 kids and I'm only 31. This surgery lasts from 10-25 years. that puts me anywhere from 40-55 that this surgery will fail me.....<br /><br />If I don't find my secret place soon, I don't know where I'm gonna end up. think what you want, but this is where I'm at. and I am sad today.</span>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-3398141302373901942010-04-27T11:10:00.003-06:002010-04-27T11:31:15.389-06:00Life without ED....or should I say Edith?<span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102); font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >Right off the cuff----I appreciate all my support. Those that comment and those that don't. To my readers, I appreciate you. I know that you are there for me if I need, and there are those that consistently pray for me. God bless!<br /><br />Joe picked me up a new book by recommendation of my eating disorder counselor. It's called "Life without Ed" ED stands for Eating Disorder. I am so encouraged! It's been very eye opening! It still baffles me that for so long I've had an obvious issue with food, but have never gone for help! I guess I thought that God was enough (which HE IS) But I've learned that IT"S OK TO ASK FOR HELP AND THAT DOESN"T MEAN YOU HAVE LESS FAITH!<br /><br />This book was written by a woman who was "married to Ed" for most of her life. She has successfully divorced him now and is sharing her hope with others. She takes a different approach to dealing with the E.D. by giving it a name, a personality, a voice, and ultimately, SEPARATING HERSELF FROM WHO ED IS.<br /><br />She asked in the first chapter whether your eating disorder was male or female. Hers was very much male. I knew right away that mine was female. It's a perfect 10 drop dead gorgeous woman that constantly tells me how I don't measure up and if I would only be like her, I would be happy. So, it was Joe's idea to name her Edith (cause she's ED....with 'death' at the end)<br /><br />I'm starting to realize how much I have agreed with Edith. I have OWNED her thoughts, OWNED her ideas, her goals, her vision, her destruction, her lies, her condemnation.....I feel like I'm getting my power back by realizing that THAT"S NOT ME! I want to be healthy! My goals are NOT her goals! I'm starting to "disobey" her voice more and more. Not always. I still listen alot of the time. But I'm coming to peace with the fact that I've had 20+years of listening to a foreign voice, it will take time to learn what my thoughts are and what God's thought are for me.<br /><br />Honestly....very honestly....it's not like i didn't know all this before. It was mostly all in "Christianeze" In Christian terms, which have become confusing to me, since they have been mixed with religion, and man's judgments. This is a fresh new tool for me that has been given to me, I believe by God, to use in such a time as this.<br /><br />I am excited and scared to really pursue divorcing my eating disorder. Even though I haven't purged in over 2 years, I have realized that the voice didn't leave when I gave up purging. It just changed form, it changed shape and voice. Edith morphed her way into the gym with me, into restriction of calories and different thinking patterns. It was foolish of me to think that my eating disorder was gone when I stopped throwing up. I didn't understand it, but now, I think I"m beginning to get it.....<br />:)</span>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13492257.post-28174272028598830352010-04-17T13:33:00.004-06:002010-04-17T13:52:54.828-06:00Paradox?<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);font-family:arial;" >I used to be strong....i think.....</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);font-family:arial;" >These days, I am easily defeated. My foundation that is supposedly being rebuilt is still so shaky. The demolition and construction seem to be going at a snails pace. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);font-family:arial;" >I don't know if I'm the only one, but why is it that one thing can just throw your whole world into a new dimension? Things have been thrown my way my whole life and then one curve ball knocks me on my @#!*% and puts me on what seems like the sidelines for months and months.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);font-family:arial;" >I've said the word "disorientated" many many times in the last year and a half. I'd like to believe that I'm finding more and more ground as the months go on.....but somedays, I still feel so lost. Still plagued with the questions</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);font-family:arial;" >"am i worth it?"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);font-family:arial;" >"who am I?"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);font-family:arial;" >"am I beautiful?"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);font-family:arial;" >"am i enough?"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);font-family:arial;" >"what is my purpose?"</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);font-family:arial;" >and probably the most plaguing question of them all: "am I chosen?"</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 153);font-family:arial;" >The latest veggie thrown into my tossed salad is my new diagnosis. I have a rare swallowing disease called achalasia. It affects 1 out of every 100 000 people. it is a progressive disease that has no cure. I am trying to hold onto hope, faith like i used to, but it's like i forget how, or maybe I'm just tired of saying things like, "everything happens for a reason, there is a plan, god will heal me, take care of me, i praise you in this storm"........etc........</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51);font-family:arial;" >It's like i've been saying those things all my life. like the strong young christian woman that i am. But life really has beaten me down. I can't do it anymore. I'm completely spent. Maybe there's a few of you out there reading this that will say, "GREAT! Now she will surrender. Now God can be strong, becuase she's finally weak!" </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 255);font-family:arial;" >Whatever that means. Parts of me hopes that God can step in more because I am admitting defeat, but parts of me is scared that I am really losing who I am meant to be. I WANT TO BE STRONG. I keep calling to the warrior in me......who seems to be so far in the distance, she is out of calling range.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);font-family:arial;" >I really am to the point that I don't care at all what people think of me anymore....which is really freeing! I'm not afraid to make mistakes anymore, and i don't have to worry about masks, or putting my best foot forward anymore. I think I'm sometimes putting my worst foot forward to see who will still walk with me through this. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" > I know I've changed. I've got a few more walls up, but yet a few less barriers. I have less fear of man, but yet an insecurity I've never had before. I've become more careful, and yet I'm more carefree. I'm not as legalistic and religious, but yet possibly leaning to far the other way.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">I do choose hope. I choose life, as best as i know how. God, i know you can hear me. and i know you're there. I will continue to call out to you.</span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">make all this into something beautiful.....including me.....</span></span>Carebearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12794825587889495805noreply@blogger.com8