I hate feeling like this. Everything seems like it's out of control. It seems like I can't get a handle on the important things. (Or what I think is important)
Whenever I go through this, I am faced with very high expectations. Which can be a good thing or a bad thing. God can use it, or the enemy can use it. Right now, I am losing this battle.
I know that having high standards is what God would want for my life and for the life of my family. But of course not at the cost of peace, joy and relationships. Right now, my unachieved goals and dreams are filling me with impatience, bitterness (towards those that stand in my way) and discontenment. All of which are not God's plans for me. I am really wrestling with laying things down, giving up my dreams, and letting God work in His own timing.
I get totally overwhelmed at what lies ahead.
Homeschooling....4 children and doing it WELL. DOING IT VERY WELL.
To me schooling them is not just academics. Keeping our children home is also to fully train them in Godly character, responsibility, and loving one another.
There's so much that they need to learn...I wonder how Joe and I (when it seems like we aren't working as a team) can really do all that they need.
That's the whole "kid" thing
Then there's just everyday house chores that just lag behind. We have a beautiful backyard that isn't even getting used. It's a mess. Which in my opinion, you aren't being a good steward of God gave you if you can't even use it! I love taking care of my yard, but I can never get out there to do my duties. I can barely keep up with the basic laundry, cooking and cleaning! How am I going to add school on top??????????
AAAHHHH. I just need to go be with my daddy and let him pour into me. There's no other answer...
Thanks for putting up with my venting for today...
6 comments:
you are miles from where you used to be, you are walking miles away as we speak from where you are....you will look up to God one day soon and fall to your knees in awe of the places you're about to see.
we all vent...and when we vent we realize some things...like where we are...if we are stuck in mud we need to reach out...and give the life giver our hand so he can yank us out of the messes we have made. then...that peace will come..so much peace.....i love your honesty, and transparent heart....it is good to be real...with ourselves and with God. i agree with nin...you are so many miles ahead..from where you have been...i care so much for you...i still hear your heart...i understand your frustration...and i will pray for you, through this time.
I'm with you! I love the picture! It says it all. Hang in there, Sarah, God will pull you out.
Have you ever tried: flylady.net
I love to Garden, can you invite me over to do gardening. I would love to help. (Just do not tell my mother that I enjoy weeding in short doses)
I am going through the exact same thing as you right now! At times I feel totally fine, that things are going smoothly, and at other times I think I am close to a nervous breakdown. I am happy we have had 4 children, but at times I am so overwhelmed with life (everything in it). I too, need to rely on God more....and I am trying to do that.
Sometimes I find myself just wanting to sit and cry. Maybe it is the fact that we have three other children that need us, and a baby that cries at times, etc....it's hard. But I guess what we have trials in will make us stronger. I just hope my kids don't remember me as some grouchy old hag. I am working on it.
I won't be homeschooling my oldest. She started public school last fall in Grade two. But this fall I will begin to homeschool my 5 yr. old....and we'll see how it goes from here.
Anyways, I guess I am venting right along with you. But it was so good for me to read this....sometimes I just think I am a nutcase and that no one understands.....but I know you do! :)Praying for you
You are indeed a normal mommy. As a sahm I have 2 children and belive me somedays I'm overwelmed with wanting the house in top notch shape, the children fed and watered having clothes [ I sew most of my clothes] on their back. It can be stressful, but then you get to have a little fresh air right when you need it the most then all of a sudden you are soo refreshed you wonder why in the world do I only have 2 children. Why not have another 6??!! They do bring soooo much joy into our lives the good by far outweigh the bad!!! THANK YOU JESUS for the gift of our children!!!
Post a Comment