The reasons why

Convicted yet again over my reasons for loosing weight. I went out for coffee with a friend the other night and we talked about where our hearts were. I was very upfront and honest. I knew the reasons why. Mostly to be thin and to feel good about myself. What happened to being obedient to my Lord and Savior? What happened to being passionately sick of the sin of gluttony? Over time, my heart turned from right motives to wrong ones. Not to say that my heart went from holy to evil, but sliding off track in my desires. Deep down, I desire right relationship with my Daddy in heaven, it's so easy to get distracted.

God is shedding light on parts of me that need unconditional love. We all do as humans, we were created that way, so that we could find that unconditional love in Him, the one who created us. Our creator put it deep down to search for it. And most of us search for it in the wrong place. For me, He has opened my eyes to show that I am hoping to gain that acceptance from being thin. It's sad, I know.....Shallow even. Well, honestly, I don't see it that way. It's just a misplaced need that needs correction and healing.

I just pray that relationship will be restored, doing this for Him and no one else.

I've still been running, and having a blast on my parents new treadmill. I am being faithful to the walk, but there's a huge thing missing. My passion for righteousness. To say no to that extra cookie, not because I ran out of points, but because I'm full and want to submit my flesh to God. I want to die to self so He may live in me....

I want to run with that picture of Jesus at the end of the finish line cheering me on, teaching my along the way of faithfulness, steadfastness and trusting in Him. Not to run with a thin me in my head to keep me going!

These are my thoughts. I pray that God can do a change in my heart. One that lasts, for fruit that lasts....