Hurricane

Just got back from hearing some amazing teaching by the Mitchell's on marriage.
WOW. If you want your marriage to be good, make Jesus Lord over your life, he'll take care of the rest.
I am learning so much about walking in faith. Greg's wife shared a vision that she had. It was after moses had parted the red sea and all the Egyptians were dead and they were on the other side in their promised land! Well, some of the hebrews went down to the shore where some of the Eygyptians had floated to the shore, layed there dead. The Hebrews started to resesitate them! They were bent over and trying to bring them back to life! And God said, WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BRING LIFE TO SOMETHING THAT I'VE KILLED?????"
Well, that's what I've been doing. I am trying my hardest to submit my eating to the Lord, but when it gets too hard, I give in and binge and throw up. I sooooo badly want to justify it. I wanna say, "yeah but, I don't throw up as often, it's not as big of a binge as others I've had...."
But without admitting and knowing the deepest extent of your crime, you will never turn.

I do know one thing. That is that I will not give up. I will cling to his promises that He will finish this work that he started in me. I KNOW IT! Someone said to me, "you know it's so stupid, because as soon as you start losing weight, and people start to mention it, then you start really messing it all up"
Well, that has also been true. Whenever you take your eyes off of the author, and perfector of our faith, we will trip.
I choose to look up moment by moment. The promised land is a place I have not seen in the area of my eating. It is a scary thing to go towards.....the unknown. I've been chosing the familiar road.
But I know that in other areas of my life where I've walked THROUGH that fear of the unknown.....GOD IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL and YES, the land IS flowing with milk and honey.

So it will be as I give him Lordship of my eating.
Come Lord, I am open and vulnerable. Blogging for all to see, so that in the end they will know
HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!
Just a reminder for all my readers out there, that this is my "mount everest" that I am conquering in the grace of God. And to encourage all those out there to not give up on that ONE thing that they feel God cannot change. Let's walk it together.....GOD IS BIGGER THAN YOUR ISSUE AND HAS A PLAN TO USE IT TO FORWARD HIS KINGDOM
God bless all tonight. Go to bed with praise on your lips and a song in your heart, for His love is unfailing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I the potter or the clay?

Today in church, a sister, a gifted potter showed us an illustration which a cried through the whole thing. It was the beginning stages of shaping a vessel. The first thing she was doing was getting the clay ready. She kept throwing it on the table. Kneading it, pounding it...everytime she did that, I could feel God doing that to me. I would say in my spirit everytime that clay hit the table with a thump...."OW! OW!" But yet it gave me comfort to know I was in the makers hands and His plans for me are good and to prosper me and never to harm me. What a powerful time in worship. I wanted to share where God is leading me right now. It's all on discipline and Hebrews chapter 12.
Quite a few things jumped off the page this time as I read chapter 12. The first thing I noticed was that God said, "endure hardships AS discipline, God is treating you as sons. Hmmmm. Endure hardships as discipline. How many hardships do you have in one day?
Your children as fighting
You husband phones and tells you he won't be home for another whole hour!
You try to have a nap, but your baby won't let you
You got into an accident and have to find a new car
7 am comes too early
Don't have enough money
can't find a sitter
Someone's gitchies are on the bathroom floor AGAIN!


What do I need discipline for? I didn't do anything! Why do I need the discipline? It's them that are fighting! It's Joe that's late! It's faith that keeps waking up! This isn't my fault!
Are any of these things MY fault?
Did I cause any of these hardships?
Could I even have prevented these things from happening?

For those of you not following....the answer is no....

But God says that we need to endure all hardships as discipline. Our God is so efficient cause He uses everything. These are all hardships that He uses for our discipline. To put the whole chapter together it goes like this....

He is the author and perfector of our faith. Not us. If we were, we would get to choose our hardships. If he's the author, then HE writes the story. Take every thing in your life and treat it that God is shaping us for our own good! It never is pleasant at the time, but later on you will reap a harvest of righteousnees and peace...for those who have been trained by it!

Hey, I could go for that right now! I think we could all say, "yeah, can you pass the peace and righteousness?" But God doesn't pass it out without the training first.

-Fix your eyes
-then God treating us as legitimate children, will show us true love by disciplining us for our own good
-endure it
-Strenthshen your weak knees.....the only way to strengthen something is to train, lift weights, use those muscles, DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR WEAK KNEES!
-Allow yourself to be trained by the trainer.
-then your harvest will be PEACE and RIGHTEOUSNESS!

I have learned that when my God disciplines me...he is loving me. If he didn't love me, he wouldn't care less. He shows me love when he gives me consequences. If I never got any, I would never turn and repent.

What an amazing God. One that loves like no other and yet could destroy us all if He so chose....but He chooses to woo us into repentance.

Those are my thoughts today.
Blessings to all who visit my blog!

Help I'm on a rollercoaster and I think I wanna stay on!

This is a quick update for those that think i've maybe dropped off the face of the earth

I am full swing into homeschooling. I've started Isaiah with the book called, "how to teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons. It's so easy that you can teach almost any age that knows their alphabet! Noah's math program is cool since it's all concrete and hands on. He's done 6 weeks of math in 2 and a half weeks! He's loves math.

I totalled Joe's company car.....well to make a long story short. God tells us to close Compass. God confirms by totalling company car.....

Joe's now at Future shop. So many changes. God is tearing down and rebuilding. That's really all I can say. Everything that can be will be shaken. That is the story of our lives right now. Our marriage, our finances, our parenting, our attitudes, our very core is being shaken

WHOA~!
The first time I went on the rollercoaster at the West edmonton mall.....that's how I feel right now. It's like you know your all straped in. You talk to yourself like a freak:
"okay, there's this shoulder harness here....better check it. I sure hope this ride has had an inspection lately. What if this strap is faulty??? What if this car runs off the track???
Then the punk operator (where do they find these guys anyway???!!!) Walks around the ride making sure everyone is safe. "what if he misses me? He doesn't look like the type that would pay attention to details...."

Well, I've been on the ride more than I can count since then. I love it! The first drop is such a rush!!!! I scream as loud as I can and when I get off, I look forward to the feeling of not being able to walk. I rememeber getting a braclet one time (unlimited rides) and doing the drop of doom and the rollercoaster over and over till it literally took days to get the "feeling" out of my body. I would go to bed at night and feel like I was on the ride....in my bed!!!
I trust the ride now. I know I will be safe. And I know I will come away with an amazing experience after.

Well, Here I am with God on His crazy idea of a ride! I've jumped out of the car a few times and almost killed myself! I'm realizing that it's much safer to stay in the car on His track then it is to jump out. It's been so trust building for our relationship. The more I stay on the ride, the more I'm starting to actually enjoy it. I guess I mean the joy that comes with obeidience. Yeah.....In order to stay in the car, I have to obey His commands and ways. I wanna do it to show Him I love him. To say, "God, you are worthy."

Eating is going okay. I have my moments when I think I "have the right and ability to lead my own life" I am trying to stay focused on Him and keep my mind off of the weight part, which is a struggle sometimes, but He knows my heart. I haven't thrown up in a couple of weeks ( I think...) haven't really kept track, but it feels like a while to me. Trying not to look back but to Him who gives me life and grace to walk this.
I need prayer for my parenting tho. I have been actually yelling at my kids under the stress. THat's so bad! I am constantly apologizing to Noah, but like we discussed at my transformations group last week, "if you are going out and under the umbrella of God's authority over and over....then you aren't really repenting. You are just saying sorry.

Well, blessing and I trust God has all got you on some kind of ride.....I wish I was on the kiddie rides sometimes.....but then again....you wouldn't get the same kind of thrill!! LOL