I am full swing into homeschooling. I've started Isaiah with the book called, "how to teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons. It's so easy that you can teach almost any age that knows their alphabet! Noah's math program is cool since it's all concrete and hands on. He's done 6 weeks of math in 2 and a half weeks! He's loves math.
I totalled Joe's company car.....well to make a long story short. God tells us to close Compass. God confirms by totalling company car.....
Joe's now at Future shop. So many changes. God is tearing down and rebuilding. That's really all I can say. Everything that can be will be shaken. That is the story of our lives right now. Our marriage, our finances, our parenting, our attitudes, our very core is being shaken
WHOA~!
The first time I went on the rollercoaster at the West edmonton mall.....that's how I feel right now. It's like you know your all straped in. You talk to yourself like a freak:
"okay, there's this shoulder harness here....better check it. I sure hope this ride has had an inspection lately. What if this strap is faulty??? What if this car runs off the track???
Then the punk operator (where do they find these guys anyway???!!!) Walks around the ride making sure everyone is safe. "what if he misses me? He doesn't look like the type that would pay attention to details...."
Well, I've been on the ride more than I can count since then. I love it! The first drop is such a rush!!!! I scream as loud as I can and when I get off, I look forward to the feeling of not being able to walk. I rememeber getting a braclet one time (unlimited rides) and doing the drop of doom and the rollercoaster over and over till it literally took days to get the "feeling" out of my body. I would go to bed at night and feel like I was on the ride....in my bed!!!
I trust the ride now. I know I will be safe. And I know I will come away with an amazing experience after.
Well, Here I am with God on His crazy idea of a ride! I've jumped out of the car a few times and almost killed myself! I'm realizing that it's much safer to stay in the car on His track then it is to jump out. It's been so trust building for our relationship. The more I stay on the ride, the more I'm starting to actually enjoy it. I guess I mean the joy that comes with obeidience. Yeah.....In order to stay in the car, I have to obey His commands and ways. I wanna do it to show Him I love him. To say, "God, you are worthy."
Eating is going okay. I have my moments when I think I "have the right and ability to lead my own life" I am trying to stay focused on Him and keep my mind off of the weight part, which is a struggle sometimes, but He knows my heart. I haven't thrown up in a couple of weeks ( I think...) haven't really kept track, but it feels like a while to me. Trying not to look back but to Him who gives me life and grace to walk this.
I need prayer for my parenting tho. I have been actually yelling at my kids under the stress. THat's so bad! I am constantly apologizing to Noah, but like we discussed at my transformations group last week, "if you are going out and under the umbrella of God's authority over and over....then you aren't really repenting. You are just saying sorry.
Well, blessing and I trust God has all got you on some kind of ride.....I wish I was on the kiddie rides sometimes.....but then again....you wouldn't get the same kind of thrill!! LOL
2 comments:
You have such a great way of putting down your thoughts. You should give a sermon someday, you'd have everyone's attention, thats for sure!
Thanks too, like others have said, for your brutal honesty in your struggles. I too battle with weight. I have a disease called PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Sydrome) and one of the many affects is weight gain which is doubly hard to take off. So I'm there with you in struggling with weight issues.
Keep looking up, He'll get you through.
PS Praise God that Joe has found a job!
hey sister,
just wanted to say hi and acknowledge that, hey, I read someone's blog today!! You are the lucky winner!
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