Our lives have been forever changed!
I have completely removed myself from my husbands authority. I really have been working hard at trying to submit to him and allow him to grow and lead, but there was just one thing from preventing that.....ME!!!!
God revealed huge things to me this weekend. As I poured out my fears, hurts and pains to him, he showed me really were my heart was........in sin......
Everytime I walked in fear in my marriage, I was blatently saying that God was not trustworthy, not faithful, and not worthy to be worshipped! In my brokeness, I repentented to Him and to my husband. Through this act of God, I have been freed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a spiritually felt a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders! I have been freed to truly be Joe's helper and not his guide. I have fallen into a deeper respect for him as I see how awesome God has made him.
I feel so good to say that I no longer have to hold Joe accountable....that's God's job! And God will do it well!!! I feel so good to say that I don't have to keep close watch on Joe's hobbies, I no longer have to make sure Joe has "guardrails" on his walk with Christ!! (Man, I never want to do that again! and if I do....I will know that I is MY SIN and not his!)
I feel so good to know that I'm only responsible for myself!
Joe is an amazing man! I absoulutly shouldn't have been scared in the first place! I trust Joe to lead us well, to be human, but to lead us well. I trust the GOD THAT LEADS HIM!
I know now that when Joe makes a mistake, I will be more free to help him now, then condemn and shame him.
I have let go of ALL expectations, ALL MY plans, and will let God finally do what He' s died to do all along ( pun intented!)
I want to share with you a piece of fruit:
Last night, Joe got a shipment in of a radio control car that he ordered online. Normally in the past I would have totally resented the car and have grumbled just enough to let him know I was not impressed. And I had a new heart! I went outside and watched him drive it around and had a really good time.
After wards, Joe said, "you know, the only time you've ever come out to watch me is when we've had company"
That really spoke to me....alot of things.....
I have missed out on so much of my husbands life, all because of fear.....but I am thankful that God reedems the years we mess up...
There is so much more, But that is the heart of what has happened. Thanks for listening.
5 comments:
I'm in such awe at all that God has done and is doing, that I am speechless. He is truly amazing.
that's so neat. I heard two testimonies recently of older women who have learned to enjoy their husbands and their hobbies...they looked pretty happy...hope you will, too.
Thanks for sharing this...it is something I truly need to think about myself.
Also thank you for your honesty.
Hey you.....sorry I missed your phone call the other night. I hope you are all feeling better...the flu hit our house too, my son was in bed for 3 days .... Thanks for sharing this...I am right there with you babe........You are a blessing to me!
Oh! Look how cute you both are...girl, you are so pretty!
That being said...OUCH! I so needed to hear this. I already know it...I've heard it before...but I needed to hear it again. And it stings. My hubby is one to "order" stuff, too. Sometimes I want to kick the box and write "return to sender" without his knowledge...haven't ever done it...but I have been tempted.
It's not just that...it's everything. We just had a recent "financial situation." I went to bed crying. My anger wasn't with hubby...it was with God. My sobs were filled with "Why don't you fix him? I trusted You...and You didn't protect me...You didn't fix him!"
His reply: "How can I fix him when you won't move out of My way...and how do you know that THIS isn't part of My plan to fix him."
*sigh*
Thanks for reminding me that our hubbys need a helper...not a guide.
{{Hugs!}}
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