Tuesday, November 14, 2006

every journey is beautifully different


God made us in His image...but with never ending creative possibilities!!
In my family's journey of greif, it's very interesting to see how one of us is here and the other is there. but we are still together walking it together. People have been forever telling us that that everyone is different and nothing is wrong. Very very good advice. People try to "make themselves "feel" what we MAY be feeling"....but there's too many variables to really try to relate. People in love and compassion are trying so hard to figure out what we are thinking, feeling, going through....
but they never had a handicapped child.
they didn't get married in highschool.
they didn't have 3 other kids besides the handicapped child
they weren't pregnant with one child at the same time as losing another
and God made us totally different....so even if the same thing happened to them....they would go through it differently.
I'm okay with all this. I know that people don't understand, and that's okay. I am blessed to have Joe, the kids, my parents, nin and chris to go through this with.

Please please don't hear me wrong....all my other friends, I TOTALLY APPRECIATE THEM. I know they love me and they are there. I couldn't do this without them. I think I'm just coming to the realization that my journey is MY journey. It's different than joe's, different than nin's, my kids.....we are all grieving differently.
I am at a place where I am JUST OK with where I'm at and who I am in this time.

Does this all make sense, probably not. My mind is very mushy these days.
thanks to all my blogger friends for walking this with me. all your comments mean alot to me and God uses alot of them to speak to me.

Peace

9 comments:

Jenny said...

Every journey is its own, but you have no idea how you have positively affected my life. I thought about you the other day when I was stressing out over trying to keep my house clean. I thought of you! Someone who I don't personally know,but someone who I have had the chance to learn a bit about. I thought of the struggles you and your family are going through. Then I realized that stressing out over a dirty house wasn't really anything to be stressing out over.
I cannot begin to imagine having to deal with any of what you have had to deal with. Through all of this you have continued to demonstrate grace, faith, love and strength.
It is your walk, but I a complete stranger can learn a little from it.
Thanks for sharing.

andrew + camille said...

totally totally normal... and you are so right and wise in saying that we all experience different things on our way. i hope A & I can be friends to you and not try too hard! we are just here...

xx oo love you
i am gonna email you asap!

Nin said...

I love that picture of Caleb...

Connie said...

hi sarah. i found your sight only after caleb passed. i have been so blessed by your walk since then. i still say a prayer for you when you come to mind.

i noticed that when i came here, my blog was in your links, and i was touched! i have now gone private and i invite you to visit anytime! you're welcome to email me the email addy you use for blog and i'll add you! my email is scbailey@mts.net.

love & prayers

Tanya said...

Sarah...you grieve the way you need to, you remember the way you need to, you cry the way you need to, you laugh the way you need to...only you can take "your" journey. God guides you, but you travel in His ways. You are a blessing to us all. We love you and you're in our prayers often. Take care.

Princess Warrior said...

Tons of sense and I would never think that you didn't love or appreciate me.

Lani - the flowerlady said...

hey girlie, you and joe have such an amazing testimony. the journey that you are walking now will only make it all the richer for it's depth of experience. you have become wise beyond your years and will continue to grow as you allow God to work out this new thing in your heart. it's truly beautiful to watch and i count it a privelege to be your friend.

(the word verification for today is jbugsmoo - i think it's funny)

Crystal said...

I am blessed to know you

Amber said...

I love the pictures you have been posting of you, your hubby & Caleb. You are such a great mom to your kiddies. Keep letting God carry you through this time...may He continue to give you the strength you need for each day. Sending a hug to you today.