Forgive

Just so that you know right off the bat, this one sounds really "preachy"....But I'm totally preaching to myself!!!

Monday, I have full faith that my character was watered and grown. I am really coming to see that it's in the crunch that your choices matter the most.

I was hurt.....badly.....Over a long period of time, I was taken advantage of, betrayed, lied to, and violated. The time came for me to make a choice. In the very core of hurt, anger, resentment and intense feelings, I had to make a choice. It was a life or death situation.

Please hear my heart. IN THE MIDST OF PAIN AND SUFFERING.....I STILL HAD TO MAKE THAT CHOICE.....TO FORGIVE.

I kept asking myself, "have I forgiven this person?" "what does forgiveness look like?" How do I find life in abundance in the MIDST of this pain????"
HOW DO I DO THIS!!??? GOD HELP!!!!!

He is faithful to pour lavishly wisdom and understanding, grace and mercy to all the broken places. ONLY BY HIS GRACE, I was able to chose to forgive. For me, this was a real milstone in my walk. I want to rememeber this moment for future encouragement...cause I will get hurt again. I will have to walk in forgiveness I'm sure many more times in my life.

God taught me alot through this trial about forgiveness.

1. The number one reason that we need to forgive is that it is commanded of us. It's not an option, it is a MUST. Nowhere in the word is there talk about you licking your wounds first...and THEN forgive.
In Luke 17 Jesus says that if your brother sins against you 7 times in a day (that means over and over and over in our language) and if that brother repents 7 times, FORGIVE HIM! Laying down our rights, dying to our hurts. Be that dead body that if you get pricked with million needles, nothing hurts.

2. There are several places in the word of God that Jesus says that "if you do not forgive those that sin against you, then my Father in heaven will not forgive your sins". He even tells a whole parable on this in Matthew 18. The parable of the unmerciful servant.

God has forgiven SO MUCH CRAP from us. Not only all the crap that we are AWARE OF, but all the crap we are UNAWARE OF....which is proabably...if you are a human....pretty bad....
It doesn't stop there, Not only all the crap aware and unaware......but all the crap that we haven't even done yet!!!!
Chew on that thought for a second....
Think of all the scripture that talks about His faithfulness to forgive us.


"You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you" Ps 86:5

"He forgives all you sins and heals all your diseases. Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion. Who satisfies your desires with good things sot hat your youth is renewed like the eagle's" Ps 103

"Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You don not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us, you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities in to the depth of the sea. " Micah 7:18-20

"As far as the east is from the west...(which a neverending gap)...that's how far, He has removed our transgressions from us."
"When we were overwhelmed with sin, you forgave our transgressions." Ps 65:3

They are endless. The whole bible has the unlying message of forgivness so that we may be reconciled to God.....

3.We need to forgive for our own good and for the good of the offender. The bible says that if we hold resentments and unforgiveness in our hearts, we are actually throwing that person in a prison cell. They are held captive until you let him go.
The word also says that holding on to bitterness and unforgiveness will make us sick and weak in our bones.

So after all that, do you still feel like holding on to unforgiveness?
Sometimes, all that truth still doesn't matter. The spirit was speaking to me all these freeing truths and I couldn't hear. I was sooo hurt!
That's how I felt on Monday. It was so hard to push all my hurt aside for a second. My hurt was so intense that I couldn't even see the truth of these scriptures. The mercy of God was clouded by my flesh. But I know God well enough to know that when He tells us to do something.....there is resurection on the other end. Obedience is always followed by peace. So by His power, I chose to verbally forgive and in prayer let this person go from my prison.
It still hurt. I thought that forgiveness meant that you no longer felt pain. But first is the action, then is followed by the fruit. I was waiting for the fruit before even planting the seed!

I also used to think that once you forgive, you never have to look at it again. It's done, over finished. But forgiveness is a moment by moment choice. I can chose right now to get all worked up about all those offenses again. I can easily take myself back to where I started from. And the next time that person crossed my path, I could easily put them back in my jail and hold them for abusing me.
But I want life for me and this person. So the next time "the accuser" comes to remind me of this person's past. I will take that thought captive to the obedience of Christ. I will rememeber all the Christ has done for my crap and walk in forgiveness.
I looked up in the dictionary a few months ago the word: CAPTIVE . I was curious of this verse. Sarah inturpreted goes like this,
"Every false thought, false claim, something not real, a joke must be taken captive, imprisoned, by force to MAKE it obey Christ."

I noticed that I didn't even mention the other person's reaction in this post at all. I've heard by others and certainly myself,
"Well, if the OTHER person is sorry for what they did, then,.....maybe......then.....I could forgive....."
"if the other person got down on their knees and actually cried or something, or SHOWED me that they were sorry.....like they have to PROVE it to me..... before I could even consider"
"I would have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that person would never do it again! Well, for pete's sake, it would even be stupid for me to forgive again, just so that I would get hurt again! That wouldn't even be wise! I have to protect myself".......

Well, what if I told you that this person did say sorry like a million times?
What if I told you that this person wept out of sorrow? Then you would think it would be easy then?
No it wasn't. There will be times when the person won't be sorry and other where they will...But that doesn't matter.... the choice is still with you.....deciding to put yourself aside and walk in forgiveness.....

Well, I'll probably be reading my own post the next time I'm all stuck licking my wounds again.
But for this time.....I am victorious by His grace!!!