The joys of renting for our childhood throughout our married life! Not able to paint a drop, or change a knob. I think it's so neat that my sister and I are in the same stages of life. Buying a house, having a baby, finishing a basement, living on the same street....but yet spending time with God this morning, He was reminding me of how different we really are. I look up to my little sister alot and sometimes it's hard to remmeber that God made me to be different than her. Our whole lives, we were unseperable...for the most part. I was like her mother hen, I practically raised her in some ways! I convinced myself that we were the same, we thought the same, acted the same and when someone would ask me what would ninette do, I would just tell them what I would do, cause for sure she would pick the same thing as me! Till one day several years back, ninette said to me that she was a melancholy and I was a sanguine.....long pause, in shock, I couldn't believe she would be different. I'm so thankful that God showed her who he made her. And she continues to grow THE WAY GOD MADE HER.
God's been trying to talk to me about embracing me for me for years. To love who He made ME to be. This morning as God was talking to me about how unique and special I am and how the purposes He has for me can only be fulfilled by me, I am heart broken. I am broken that I still am not confident in who I am in Jesus. That I am special and there's no one in the world like me. No one will homeschool my kids like me, no one will renovate my house like I will. No one will handle and raise 5 kids like I can. No one will witness like me, pray like me, worship exactly like me. These words, I need to think of these things. I have spent most of my life trying to be like people I look up to and then miss the special things that only me can do.
This next year is a huge one for me.
I am buying my first home
I am having a new baby
I am renovating our basement
I am homeschooling a grade 2, a kindergartener, and a toddler
I am going to be a new auntie
I am going to grow in Christ
A song my sister wrote for me still plays in my head:
Well I am headed for the unknown
Sometimes it feels like im walking this road alone
this is the most bitter-sweet road I've known
This road I'm headin for I know will come with trials
To fully understand why I know will take a while
Still I will trust you for many unknown miles
And I'll do it all with my own unique bent and style
For You lead out the prisoners into prosperity
I've been imprisoned by my own opinion of me
Well, I've been called to go against the raging flow
This means I need to let go of everything I think I know
Cause I know I'll never walk this road on my own
You will never forsake or leave me alone
I will fix my eyes on you and you will give me strenght for what I need to do
for You lead out the prisoners into prosperity
I've been imprisoned by my own opinion of me
Written by Ninette Moore
Pray for me if God leads you. Love you all!
6 comments:
It's amazing to me how God has brought us together for such a time as this........how we are struggling through almost the same things......I wish I would have got it when I was younger......you make me feel so old! :o))I love ya lots girl! God is doing His work in you!
Blessings
Wow Sarah
I can truly say that this post here that you have written has touched me deeply. So often we carbon copy ourselves to the "jones'" and forget that we are wonderfully and fearfully made. Wow cool is that? I am excited for you guys. You deserve your own home.
You are such an inspiration to all Sarah. This post hit home to me as well.
I look forward to see what this year brings for you! Congratulations on your own home!!!!
I'm praying for peace and certainty for you today and tomorrow!
i'm really hoping your heart can be at peace, and that God will fill you with acceptance.
I'm the same way - I used to be so confident, and then I had a bad experience and my self worth dropped by over 50%. I struggle to get it back to where it needs to be - in regards to my image, and how I think God feels about me.
I can't believe that you still have energy at the end of a day to write a post...I complain about my life working & raising ONE child...you are incredible - and how blessed your family is to have you!
I love that song - it's SO true. Did she write music to it?
HUGS Carebear!!
Our walk together has blessed me more than you know. I look up to you in so many ways as well, and you didn't practically raise me in some ways, you did raise me in a lot of ways. And for all that you have sown and built into me, thank you. I would not be the person I am today without your constant love and support through my life. (I can remember the day that you "let me go" from out of your wing, I know I wouldn't be where I am if you hadn't followed the Lord and submitted in that moment, thank you) I'm so amazed at all that God has done in our relationship, the restoration He has shown in His faithfulness and mercy. Not only our relationship, but our personal walks as well. He is an amazing God. It has been so encouraging to see you grow in so many area of your life, to see you sow into others and disciple them along the way, to see your marriage blossom and move mountains, to see you overcome patterns of sin, to see God unveil the real you....wow. I think it's such a God thing that He has us on these roads together, He is going to tie us tighter together and build our foundation stronger. I'm so excited to see what God has in store for us in these new seasons together.
I know for a fact that you are confident in who you are in Christ, because this shines to so many around you. I can see you walk continuously in your own unique bent and style, and so can others. It's something that many including myself desire for ourselves.
I never would've thought that we would be where we are today, I look back at all that God has done and am speechless. Praise Him for His goodness....
Love you :)
We are all so different...and yet the same...it that, I think, many of us are imprisoned by our opinions of ourselves. Afraid to venture out with the vision God gives us...afraid that our own limitations will cause us to fail and so we don't even try at all.
BTW, you two look adorable together. :)
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