Monday, November 12, 2007

The story of us



Joe and Sarah are lovely couple. They were married at 18 and 20 and had their first child 3 months after their wedding. After 5 children, 11 years, a death of their first born and many many many other issues, they are still working things out, very much in love and can't wait for what the Lord has for them next! Marriage does not come without trials. Sarah realizes yet again that she is hindering where God wants to take them...Here is a glimspe into their marriage in the last few months:

So after many months of harboring little thing after little thing, Sarah's mind, body and spirit started to ooze more and more. It all came to a head on the night of their 11th year anniversary....

It started by a simple conversation Sarah was having with Joe.
"So I'm a little frustrated about the picture situation...."

"oh so you are frustrated with ME?"

"that's not what I said, I said, the situation....we still have not handed out our family pictures and they were taken 5 months ago!"

(At this point, Sarah is trying really hard to remain calm. For those of you that have seen the "Love and Respect video series, will know the next phrase...)

Then after 5.2 seconds, they we were violently spinning on the crazy cycle and had retreated to our corners becuase she did not feel loved, and he did not feel respected.
Knowing the crazy cycle well, Sarah was confused in herself. With a million emotions and desperate need to find peace, Sarah looks inward......
What does she find?

With her in her room, lying alone, she beings to pray

"God, what is WRONG with me? Why am I SO ANGRY????
I'm so furious about ____ and about ______ and about __________!!!!"
She starts to well up in anger about little things that aren't even a part of that night!
"I just want peace. The peace that only you can give! I know your peace Lord, I know how precious and priceless it is! I need you to help me! Show me what I need to do...."

The Lord begins to minister to her spirit. She beings the battle in the spirit realm.
Her flesh cries out for justice--Her spirit cries out for mercy
Her flesh clings to all the things that have made her angry and hurt--Her spirit wants to let it all go and forgive
She feels like she's in a maximum security prison in her own spirit! Who will win?
Her sinful self wants to stay in prison, holding on to all the hurt! Her spirit wants freedom, freedom in their marriage and most of all freedom in her heart!After being literally ripped apart, Sarah starts to feel the Lord winning the battle. The more she lets Him in and speak, the more the darkness is silenced. Finally after clenching her teeth, making really tight fists and a whole lot of crying......Her heart begins to soften. It's time to let it all go. It's time to lay down her rights. It's time to forgive. It's time to be washed with the blood the heals....WIth the help and strength of the Lord, she does, and peace is again restored to this couple.

Knowing the the testing comes right after a transmormation, Sarah braces herself for some opposition. She stands firm in the work God did in her heart. She will not look back. She will not become a bitter woman, she is determined to fight for forgiveness and not personal rights. It's not worth it to save your flesh, your rights. Sarah has been locked up in that prison too many times. She purposes in her heart that she will lean on the forgivness Christ has given her which SHE so desperately needs.


But after all of this, she ponders.....how did she get here.....AGAIN!????
She's been here a million times, only to go through the gut wrenching battle within. It's a slow process. It's starts ever so subtle, ever so minor. In her thoughts. Reminded to keep EVERY thought she has to the cross of Christ, she writes this blog to hopefully help and remind other wives to not fall into the same trap. It's not fun locking yourself and your marriage in a dark, dank prison with nothing but pain.....

Praise God! For the work He completed on the cross that I can be set free with a simple prayer!

PS Joe finally posted! :)

3 comments:

Nin said...

embarassed? I'll join... We fight every year putting up our Christmas tree. Yes, good ol' quatlity time spent as a family decorating the tree, listening to Christmas music.....and arguing. And such is life.

Madame Angela Baggett said...

We're going on 9 years and I just realized that he can't hear my instructions like I give them to him, he needs me to make a list and write it down. I just read this in a magazine no less- about men hearing and communicating differently than women- meanwhile he was feeling like he's loosing it because he doesn't remember what all I said. The enemy uses so many tools to tear us apart. Hang in there and keep up the fight. It's worth it. So worth it.

Unknown said...

Hi Sarah, That's an awesome peace of writing, thanks for being brave enough to share it with us. I'm just learning to use the sword for the battle so that was very encourageing.