-sensing another big wave of grief coming on with the one year anniversary right around the corner....
-in my journey of faith....i'm searching for the true God, the real thing, without it being dressed up with pretty language, duties and expectations.
-Wondering where God really wants me to go from here
-feeling very disorientated in my journey of faith
-Totally loving school with my kids and excited to see all where God will take us as a family this year
-Scared, yet excited to lead a small group.....asking God to fill in the MANY gaps that I will have in being able to do a good job.
-Many things in my brain like my mom's new heart condition, my relationship with my inlaws, my neighbour across the street that just lost her kids (they were apprehended) my hubby starting his awesome new job today, keeping a close eye on my kids and all that they need to learn......
-Maybe God wants me to be all disorientated, maybe not.....usually I know where I'm going and where I've been. It's hard to related to life without Caleb. It's like my relationship with God was really tied together to Caleb. Now that he's gone, I'm having to relate to God without Caleb being like a porthole....sounds weird, but that's what it seems like.
thanks for listening.
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8 comments:
still sitting here refreshing! haha
Thanks for sharing!
Your posts always gets me thinking!
Hope you can get some answers!
Teaching I have clung to: Jesus took the bread, broke it, blessed it and passed it out (He is our bread and now we are the bread, He takes us, breaks us, blesses us and passes us out to the world). Sometimes we feel like a lot of little pieces and can't see the order of it, but as we die and fall, new life comes. An old acquaintance we have recently come in contact with was telling me how praying with her had rocked her world and relationship with God (I don't even remember her or the prayer times). He'll use us when we don't even know it!
Thinking of you Sarah...I'm a bit confused myself these days!
Praying for you too...you will get through this time!
I'm here and I'm listening
dianna, i can't get to your blog
angela, thank you for those exact words. that was very encouraging.
jenny, how in the world did my confusion and mumbo jumbo get you thinking????
Actually many points got me thinking...hit a personal note...you speaketh my language my darling...
Hope all is well!
Thanks for sharing. I can't imagine the huge hole you feel in your life without your son. Kids are not supposed to die before their parents, are they? I don't understand God's ways but maybe I am not supposed to.
I pray you will find some peace in all that is going on.
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