This long and winding road is so bittersweet.
I am SO thankful that I have my God.....that's my first thought. When the dust settles, deep down in my heart and spirit, God's peace carries me. Through it all. He is faithful, even tho I am not, even tho others are not, even tho I get scared, angry, sad and hurt.....He never leaves me.....
There is never a dull moment these days in this house. After Joe left and our world fell apart, God mercifully and graciously rescued us and is restoring, rebuilding, and redeeming our pasts.....
I love my blog, sometimes I want to come here and rant and rave, but then I end up speaking the truths of God and walk away encouraged and full of faith. My sister yesterday said, "there's nothing that tastes better than healthy feels" Both my sis and I grew up on junk food and became serious binge and carb eaters! For her to say that statement is a testimony that God can completely destroy something bad and rebuild it into something good. I too can say that phrase and really really mean it!
This is what's happening in my life in SO MANY levels. I am learning through EXTREME trial and EXTREME heartache what is means to CLING to the Lord with my fingernails. I told my sister the other day that back in October, when I look back to the tornado that ripped through our home and my heart, I pictured myself as this burn victim. The ones you see in movies where all you see is a slit for their eyes, becuase every inch of their skin was melted off. Now imagine taking that bandage off! You'd see a human being looking like raw hamburger! THAT WAS ME!
Through time, God...not Joe, not food, not any other human being or thing on this planet......is healing me. There are times when he will remove dirty bandages and I feel exposed....
He will pour anticiptic on my wounds which will sting.....
He will put fresh new, clean bandages on which makes me feel cared for and brings me comfort....
He will sit at my bedside as I hurt and cry with me....or read to me.....or just be there......
In some strange way, I am thankful for this trial becuase without, I would never know my God the way I do now.
I am thankful for the shaking that He does. I am thankful that He cares more for our salvation than our comfort.
I am thankful that His promises never fail.....
He truly is able, and I'm not just being cliche. It really is true. If you knew what we just went through.....you'd believe me......
5 comments:
My phone went so wacky today and I couldn't get it working! sorry girl!
You are so beautiful, I love what God is doing in you and through you. We're going to be in Saskatoon a couple of times this month, I hope that I can make it work to get over to your place for that cup of tea!!! I love you and your family, God is amazing
2 Cor. 1:3-5
Sara, I love how you talked about God caring for your wounds. That's how I have felt over the last number of months.
Here is a song that has been meaningful to me lately:
"The anchor holds" by Ray Boltz
I have journeyed
through the long dark night
out on the open sea
by faith alone
sight unknown
and yet his eyes were watching me
CHORUS
the anchor holds
though the ship is battered
the anchor holds
though the sails are torn
i have fallen on my knees
as i faced the raging seas
the anchor holds
in spite of the storm
i've had visions
i've had dreams
i've even held them in my hand
but i never knew
they would slip right through
like they were only grains of sand
CHORUS
i have been young
but i am older now
and there has been beauty these eyes have seen
but it was in the night
through the storms of my life
ohh thats where God proved his love to me
I am glad that He's been your anchor and that you see that.
You are still my very fav blog lady and I sure am blessed each time I read.
I always marvel when our mask slips off how much more loveable we are behind it.
It kind of reminds me of a large iceberg on the ocian, we only see the tip of it floating on top of the water, but God's vision of us is quite different, all our secrets, soul, mind, spirit, will, all are bare to Him who knows us better than we do ourselves.
Who better to trust with our wounds?
Lovingly Nel
As always...I'm so encouraged by you!
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