Thursday, February 26, 2009

more thoughts

-I'm scared
-Scared of being real this very second.
-Scared of going back to the way I was
-Seeing very old patterns of coping
-Emotionally eating
-Even tempted to throw up!
-Discouraged
-Did I say scared?
-Crying alot
-Am I going to make it through this transition?
-Why do I always have to let fear get the best of me
-Worried of what certain people will think of me
-Just a big ball of flesh
-On the verge of surrender....but holding on to things that make me feel temporarily good
-Calling my spiritual mothers...can you pray for me?

there...i was more than honest. I am being vulnerable....hoping that knocking off some of this pride might help.....

6 comments:

Unknown said...

Praying for you, my friend.

Jenny said...

Praying for you....

Laurie said...

praying for you.

You are a GREAT mom!

Hope things get smoother for you!

Madame Angela Baggett said...

sorry I don't always comment, usually have a kid in the lap and one is crying now, but wanted to say blessings to you for your honesty and my prayer for you is "when we are weak, he is strong" love you

andrew + camille said...

i love you - thank you for your honesty. your feelings and your desires don't change who you ARE and will always be.
i echo Angela - when you are WEAK HE is strong.

Princess Warrior said...

Hey Carebear,

Just thought I'd let you know that I think you sound like a normal human being. Life is scary and wonderful and all wrapped up in to one person. If you fall on your fave that's okay, you can come over and we'll compare facial skid marks:) If someone thinks you are perfect it's not your fault. I was just telling nin that's why I like hanging with you two, I know that I won't be judged and I hope I give you that same secure place.