My computer has been down the last week or so, Joe has painted Caleb's room (which is where the computer now is) I still call it Caleb's room. Some of the family members call it the "office" now...which I guess it is....
Walking with my Father has not been a boring dull walk these last few weeks. I am encouraged in so many areas, but struggle with faith in my one area that has haunted me for 16 years. Bulimia. Will I ever be victorious???
Deep down I know that I will. There's this song by casting crowns that i've been singing all the time, called "In me"
"Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind, You shine Your light on me
Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that you want me
So I'll stand on Your truth, and I'll fight with Your strength Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me"
The bold words are the words that I really sing out. There's this sign at a store called twisted goods in the mall. I saw it last night and I WANT to buy it. It says "believe" And this is where I am at. Do I believe? I really can sense God digging in my heart. I do know that He is transforming me, layer by layer. I just keep pressing through, pushing past fear, doubt, and failures. Fighting the good fight of faith. Standing on truth, till He brings the victory. I asked my sis the other night, "do you think there will ever come a day where I'll be able to say, 'I haven't thrown up my food for years!!'?" She said, of course! And deep down, by the power of Christ, yes, I will....
The tiny little battles that you think are not significant, are the most important thing you can fight for, because, the more little battles that you overcome IN HIM, before you know it, He wins the war for you.
For me this is a huge thing. Some people that I know have the most amazing will power. They can put their minds to anything and just do it. (I could never understand those people! LOL) I am the opposite of this. I say that I will do this and that, but then never follow through.
These are 2 extremes of the SAME THING. STRIVING IN THE FLESH.
....For one, we just give up (that would be my pattern)
....For others, they just do it alone
BOTH DO NOT HAVE FAITH IN GOD
I am encouraged. I do believe God. I know my daddy enough to know that He never breaks a promise. That He never changes. That He is the same.
I am reading a series of verses on running. God is leading down a path to teach me a spiritual truth through a physical picture....running. There is much to be learned about persevering, staying the course, not giving up, not giving in......
So I have begun a new journey by the leading of the spirit....running. We'll see where He takes me in that.....
Just so that you know....by me sharing this, is a huge risk. It is a leap of faith by telling those that know me, is another way to show that I believe God will finish what he started. I am scared. Scared to fail, scared to give up or that I won't make it. But that's okay. I am choosing to push past all of it.
Psalm 18:10
The name of the Lord is and strong tower. The righteous run into it and they are saved.
7 comments:
"Cool runnings"..........
What else can I say?
Peace be the journey!
Victory is ours to take, its a free gift. Take that victory and run with it. God will take care of the fears, he will give the strength you'll need. He will give you such victory over this, I now! Believe that the God that loves you so much will release you from this heavy burden. I want you to now that I understand that it hasn't been or will be easy, but its so worth it. My heart, my soul, and my spirit believes that one day you will say...... I HAVEN'T GOTTEN SICK FOR DECADES!
Blessings to you, totally missed your blogging : )
You go girl! You will overcome with the strength and power that is bigger than any of us. And know that by walking in the light (in Him and in your transparent sharing) you are in the light. We all have our struggles . You are forgiven and a beautiful testimony with your striving and admitting you need help.
Glad you are sharing your journey!!
You're an amazing woman and I continually learn from you and your struggles and gains!
Thanks!
I am so thankful for you and your blog! You are one amazing woman. You have taught me so much...and are so encouraging.
Christ is working in you and through you to do His will.
May the Lord bless you and keep you!
I was fortunate enough to be at home with my oldest son tonight(which wasn't supposed to happen).I long in my heart for him to find God as myself and his two brothers have.But the amazing thing about tonight,was I watched a show with him tonight about one of his BIGGEST loves...football.It was about a coach who taught the kids on and off the field about putting their faith in God and giving to Him the good and the bad and loving Him just the same and loving yourself for knowing you've tried your very best for you and God.It was amazing to see how it all played out and how God touched their lives once they truely put their faith in Him.It touched me because I hoped so much that my son got the message too.Then I read your blog.And I see in your life how you are doing the same.Giving to God the good and the bad and trusting Him to guide you.You are an amazing woman.The more I read your blogs the more I admire you even though I barely know you.I wish you the best in your struggles.But I really truely believe you are stronger than you feel.Take care and God bless.
"The tiny little battles that you think are not significant, are the most important thing you can fight for, because, the more little battles that you overcome IN HIM, before you know it, He wins the war for you. "
This is so true and so in line with what the Lord has been showing me in my own battles.
We SO need to talk, girl...we are in much the same spot!
--tina
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