Friday, March 14, 2008

Part 7


Change started to slowly happen, one baby step at a time.

When I got pregnant with Noah, Caleb was just over a year. This scared the crap out of me! ANOTHER BABY! I knew that if things didn't drastically change, this family would be hooped!
I joined "the weigh down workshop" and learned ALOT! About making food a god and how to put God on the rightful place in my heart. These were tools that I desperately needed, but honestly didn't know how to put them into practice. Self control was NOT part of my vocabulary. I did not know how to tell myself "no".

Looking back, all the way to this very day, I realize that all those years of bondage were held securely by ONE LIE:
"I do not have a choice"
"It's been a hard day, I NEED this food. It's too hard. I can't do it. I'm too screwed up. I deserve the food. I was abused in my past, that's why I have an eating disorder......"

Still God was faithful and patient to continue to plant seeds into very hard and rocky soil. At my Weigh Down group one night, I asked for prayer. I was asking for help, knowing I was pregnant and that my life HAD to change NOW, LIKE RIGHT NOW!
One lady responded and said that God will provide the train ticket we need. Even if the ticket comes at the very last minute, He will provide the way. He gave me this baby and He would help us change as we ask humbly.....

One baby step at a time.....
My house was such a pig sty! Dirty diapers everywhere, moldy dishes and laundry were always piled up. We could never have anyone over without a weeks notice and then we'd usually cancel our plans because we were too lazy and/or depressed to clean the house.

In my pregnancy with Noah, I was determined to clean up the house and keep it clean!
And I did! The house stayed clean for one month straight without mold and garbage every piling up. It was a celebration! I've always been pretty open and honest about my struggles. I remember telling my family how proud of myself I was!

Binging and purging was still always there. I really believed I couldn't stop. I wanted to, but obviously, not bad enough.

Noah was born and we moved to a wheelchair accessible home. There I continued to keep up with my daily duties, but still was struggling with depression and tied to the fridge and cupboards all day long. Joe came home to a clean house most days, but found me still so unhappy, sad and out of control when it came to food.

At this time, the best thing ever happened to us! We found our church home!!!!!!!!!!!
Now if I can just say right off the bat HOW IMPORTANT A CHURCH FAMILY IS.......
We ALL need to be a part of the body! ALL believers need a home!!!!
It's biblical, it's God's heart, there is NO way around this! So many believers think they are fine on their own at home watching their sunday morning programs. THIS IS A LIE! It's satan's way of keeping God's kids stumped in their growth. They are isolated and therefore not able to be stretched, challenged to come out their comfort zones and fed the lie that "God is enough, so you don't need anyone else"
It's His heart for us all to have a place to belong. Think about it....What does God say about orphans??? He adopts them! It's NEVER his plan for the kids He created to be alone......I encourage you to ask God where your family is and GO! BELONG! BE LOVED AND CARED FOR!!!!!!!! YOU WON"T REGRET IT! (K, I'm done my rant)

Next.....How God THROUGH our church family provided our needs for healing, restoration, correction, rest and refuge......

Rated one of the best posts ever written!!! You HAVE TO READ THIS POST my sister wrote! Let me know what you thought! Click here

7 comments:

Nin said...

I'm so emotional
I think I'm getting my " . "

Trail Rider said...

lol to "."

hahaha
but not lol to it really

Madame Angela Baggett said...

so awesome. It's beautiful when the body of Christ works as it should and brings his love and healing. You've got me hooked. Looking forward to the next installment.

Nelda said...

Great post!!
We just have to watch the creachers God created and we can see how true this is. Birds hang out in flocks, bees in sworms, sheep and cows in herds, wolves are in packs, fish swim in schools, and ants march in lines. Even the children of Isreal were, according to God's plan, in community.
Your story just keeps getting better and better.
Nelda

Janelle said...

i just LOVE your story.
you are such a blessing.

Anonymous said...

Reading your blogs have helped me understand your testimony. Wow, God has continued your story, and your story will continue forever, and the amazing thing is that his grace continues forever. The way that the church family was explained isan't that how we would like to see our life group.

Trev and Rebekah said...

A church family is so important. I think that's why I struggled so much when my pastor died. I ached for my family...the church in their loss too.