Joe asked me last night why I'm going through so much effort to breast feed my baby.
Yes, I have decided to fight for my milk.
My friend that had a baby just after me, phoned me to console me. She so graciously offered to pump and give me her breast milk for my baby.....
Let me just say that it was salt on the wound. "I can feed my baby and have so much milk that I can feed your baby too!!!"
I know she didn't mean it that way, she is a sweet heart and I have to admit that I've actually offered "my womb" to my sister inlaw just in case she needed it!!! (I was 18 when I said that, and I've wanted to take it back as soon as it left my mouth!!)
So after her lovely offer, I had a huge MELT DOWN. Bawling my eyes out with intense grief. A big part of my melt down was wondering if I had really done enough to save my milk...and knowing deep down in my heart, I DID NOT do everything I could have to save it.
This is probably my last baby, this is my last chance to fulfill this dream. If God gives me back my dream....THANK YOU!!! If not, I will have peace. Knowing that I did my part, I will take His answer.
So I went off to borrow a big huge pump from the breast feeding clinic, got some prescribed pills, and for the last 24 hours, have been fighting for my milk back.....and I feel great about it. Honestly, whatever the outcome, I know I need to do this.
So I will keep on truckin, leaving the outcome in the hands of the dream giver, waiting the answer that He will give me. Will I be able to nurse to a year....???? Only time will tell.
9 comments:
that is very exciteing...keep us posted!! Good for you sarah..bless your heart!!
Good for you Sarah! I wish you the best of luck...and I will pray for you. I myself never had a problem...but I know many who have and it can be very disheartening for them. I'm proud of you for not letting go of this dream...for fighting for it. May God bless you and all that your heart desires!
I am so proud of you... you desire the best for your children and nothing will stop you....I will pray for you, this journey, and your children.
Blessings to you..
Get pumping girl!! I am praying for you! God knows the desire of your heart!
Keep on trucking!
Don't ever feel like you're a failure. God has a reason for all!
Big hugs to you!!
update:
I feel my milk coming back slowly. I think it will take some time yet, I keep pumping and feeding with a little tube going into her mouth.
I feel much better with this decision! Thanks everyone for rooting for me, and for your prayers. You all mean alot to me!!
I had to do the tube/nip stimulation as well. Keep at'er girl!!
jeeny, did that work in the long run? what's your story?
I know how you are feeling...there were a few weeks recently with Noah that I didn't think I could do it either due to a shortage in milk supply. He was having more bottles then breastmilk, and I was hurting A LOT inside. I found out about these pills that increase milk supply so my Dr gave me some, and now: NO BOTTLES NEEDED! I believe it is all to God's glory, and I also believe that the same thing is going to happen for you! I know how you feel though, and I definitely hadn't done everything I could have in the beginning either....I'll be praying for you!
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