Laying down all our lives....is this the general theme for most these days? It is for me. All around me God is calling people to die the death...some of us are dying happily, some are squirming and flailing all over, some are gripping so tight to their earthly life that I don't know if they'll make close to the fire. It doesn't really matter what other are choosing to do, other than the fact that I love them and need to pray for those that are struggling. What matters is AM I DYING EVERYDAY TO WHAT GOD IS CALLING TO DIE TO!!!
We have chosen to be a homeschooling family. Everyone's dog knows this. But for the last few months God is asking me to lay it down! AAAAAAHHHHHH! You mean lay down everything that I've read, researched, learned about, and feel so strongly on!??? I thought God that you already told us to homeschool?
Hmmmm.....sound familiar Abraham? He must have been saying, "But God! I thought you were going to make a strong nation out of Issac! You told me to name him Issac! You promised me that you would make my descendants as plenty as the stars through my son!!! Am I on crack (if there was crack back then...) or my ears not working right....you want me to sacrifice him??"
We know the end of the story. We all know that there is a ram waiting in the thicket close by. We all know that God fulfilled His promise...but did Abraham? I think that he knew God enough to know that HE'S GOD! and that God knows what he's doing...
I WANT THAT FAITH! THE FAITH THAT CAN THROW MY PRECIOUS JEWELS INTO THE FIRE!
To lay down something that you think you are so sure of. Well, you know what? If your so sure that it's meant to be, then God will give it back to you. If you trust Him that He loves you more than you can imagine....JUST LIKE THE WORD SAYS OVER AND OVER.... then you can die easily...cause you just know. (Talking to myself again!)
Do you know what that would mean for me to lay down homeschooling? TONS. We are the first homschool family in our blood lines. Everyone is waiting for us to screw it up...(well, they aren't trying to be mean, they just don't understand what it is and are very very sceptical. I will just add that I don't feel that we aren't supported, I'm trying to make a point) My pride is on the line people! What if God says, "No, put them in school" what will that look like?? I will officially be an "earthly failure" to those that have us under the microscope but If God was my God then all this wouldn't even matter. I would just tell people, "God has informed us otherwise for now" and be at peace. You know, Abraham must have had all that on the line too. I'm sure He told people about Issac and God's promises.
Well, I am in the process (cause it is a process) to lay this one down. Little by little giving God my hopes and dreams, even if it makes me a fool in the world's eyes, I know how my daddy feels about me! :)
God is faithful...let us never let that truth get away on us...
(Written on Friday) Thought it was very interesting how God prepared my heart for the message on Sunday....
4 comments:
It is so true that if you lay it down, God usually gives it right back. But in one of my experiences, God asked me to lay something down, and it was taken away, because as it turned out it wasn't what He had for me (though I was soooo sure it was! and man was my pride wounded too!) But I layed it down, and God gave me something better! Something waaaaay better. So either way, whether He gives it back or not, His plan is always better, He's always on top of things. I was just thinking about this on Sunday too, I didn't hear the message, but God impressed on me that I need to lay something else down, and He reminded me that even if things don't go the way I think they should, He is still God! As long as I lay it down, His will is being accomplished. And I can trust that His will is not to harm us, but to prosper us. So with that said, it will always be better than we thought.
You don't know me, but I read your blog from time to time.
As far as you feeling like God may be calling you to put your children into a regular school, maybe its because He feels that by being in school with regular children, your children can be a light and an example and show others what its like to be a child of God and hopefully lead other children, who are unsaved and come from non-christian homes, to the Lord. Maybe He wants that from you and your family. Just a thought.
Tanya
The thing that God has been teaching me is that anything that we put our efforts to are futile unless they have the resurection power behind it. God asks us to die to our desires, then as he chooses, he returns them to us. Then we are equipped with real resurection power as we have suffered through death to obtain it. It also qualifies us to minister to others that are still holding onto their lives. Take homeschooling. If God does ask you to give it to him, and you suffer through allowing it to die, then as God chooses, if he gives it back,then you can walk in a new confidence. Also you can then minister to other homeschoolers who are dealing with the same issues. Be encouraged, it seems that you are right where God wants you.
This won't be easy.......
that's all i have to say to all your comments.
Thanks for the encouragement. I will need prayer. I have so much that I could say or want to say, but part of dying is....my "opinion" in this matter isn't the issue, (even tho I have many)
Pride is strong. It wants to be right. But yes, I do know that I am in the right place.
You know at church during the sermon, it was talked alot about the suffering. At the time, I wasn't "suffering" I was at peace, knowing God is leading me. But when you really get down to the nitty gritty of it, when you really start to lay it down.....it hurts. it's hard, but....I will rise again in 3 days!!!
I will embrace this.....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Turns out I did have lots to say.
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