1000 blessings list (15-25)

15. A calm summer morning with the smell of my flowers in my backyard with my cup of coffee and a whole new day ahead of me.

16. My baby's new word, "pee pee" when I change her diaper, she pats herself and says,'pee pee'

17. My nephew's new word, "DVD" I could watch him all day and smile

18. thankful that the BBQ is finally here! tomorrow our family will be here fighting with water balloons, relay races and eating summer treats!

19. I'm thankful that I no longer throw up my food. I should take the time each day that thank God for delivering me from that. I cried for so many years for that to be gone and now, on Aug 5 it will be 6 months!

20. That my baby knows and obeys the command, "come" it all starts from these simple commands of obedience.

21. My neighbour across the street spotted my baby on the road and she probably saved her life because as I was going after her, she was on her way on the road just as a car was coming...

22. two fifteen year old boys called me today to tell me that they found all of joe's ID in a ditch by the city dump! I am so thankful that they called us! Now we don't have to replace all our cards and we know now what exactly happened with my purse!

23. Thankful that the thieves didn't take our credit cards and were only looking for cash.

24. LOL....thankful ironically that we don't have anything to steal!!! LOL

25. Thankful that the thieves are loved by God just as much as He loves me. And that just like the thief on the cross next to Jesus was saved that very day, there is hope for everyone...

1000 blessings

7. My 7 year old daughter eagerly cleaning the bathroom. washing the floor with the swiffer mop, windexing the mirror and taps and even cleaning the toilet!

8. My 15 month old sitting quitely playing the nintendo DS...well, she 'thinks' she's playing....

9. My rug and underlay successfully dried after the flooding from my sanguine son.

10. Paul Wilbur's heart of worship and the sweet offerings that come from his music.

11. Sweat dripping down my face and back while running on my the treadmill. How God created our bodies to detoxify.

12. God's natural highs called endorphins

13. Listening to "I'm gonna fly" by Amy Grant as my cool down song, reflecting on all the things God has planned for my life.

14. My kids (and Jonah) playing out in the backyard on our new play structure! THAT THING IS SUCH A BLESSING!

1000 blessings list

Flowerlady has been building her list of things to be thankful for. I've been reading it faithfully since it started. Between her, and my friend Nelda, God has broken through my heart this morning! it feels so free to have your focus back to where it needs to be! I've decided to help my heart stay close to the Father, I will start my 1000 blessings list as well. Thanks Lani and Nelda for being faithful in sharing God's love and peace.

1. sitting with my two youngest girls in the kitchen as they gently feed our guinea pigs and my baby learning a new word, "nice" as she pets one of them.

2. Enjoying the old amy grant CD. Enjoying soaking up the heart of being yourself, being real and being loved.

3. Coffee and french vanilla creamer in my favorite pink mug that says, "believe"

4. To know that there are new mercies every morning and newness always available for us to be washed clean.

5. My hubby. Who is calm, relaxed, steady and a constant in our home. One who calmly handled a flooded basement that my son accidently turned on the wrong hose for 3 hours!

6. Lani and Nelda who have been modelling their love for Jesus. God has used the two of you in my life these last few days.

on to better things

i don't like leaving such a hard post like the last one up, so i thought I'd give a little update.

Moods are calmer, but God is doing somethings that are deep and painful. he's revealing stuff that needs correction, healing and attention. So it's all good, as long as I trust and obey (there is no other way to happy in Jesus.......)

I've been having this WICKED heartburn! for the last month. my doctor gave me these samples called nexium. at first i wasn't going to take them becuase there were 3 pages of side effects! But it kept getting worse and worse. i couldn't breathe, it was really affecting my life...it still is. I have to tuck myself into "bed" on my couch with pillows sitting up! and sleep that way! Even in the morning I wake up with such burning pain and there's nothing in my stomach (accept acid of course!)
I am still clean from my bulimia. It has been 5 and a half months. (ML, I'm holding on to that)
I guess it was about time for me to reap the consequences of throwing up my food for 18 years!!! I just didn't think it would happen AFTER I stopped. I know it's not your "normal" heartburn. I must have done some serious damage to my insides!

Summer is always hard for me with the lack of schedule. to find the balance from work and holidays. In order to enjoy the paddling pools and parks, your work has to be done. I do notice that each summer gets better and better, which is encouraging. There's just so much more peace with order than there is with chaos and that is the motivation that drives me. plus there is twice the work! the grass the garden, the flowers and yard....

How's everyone summer? does any stay at home moms struggle with this balance?



Here is a pic of the new play structure that joe and chris built!! the kids have been really enjoying it! At this point there are no swings on it yet, but I'll get another picture of our new back yard up in the next few days. I love my yard!

Grief or exuses?

So up and down. I actually took a pregnancy test yesterday! I felt sick yesterday morning and I do this morning again. The test said negative, but what is with me? It's hard, becuase I can't pin point anything it seems.

Yesterday, Noah's camp called and said that he had a fever and he needed someone to come and get him. On the way there to get him, I was totally overcome by guilt. I felt so guilty for sending him to camp (even tho he was fine in the morning) I realized that it reminded me subconciously of when Caleb got sick and the school called me to come and get him. This morning, I did send Noah to camp again, but he had one dose of advil last night and the fever never did come back. I really felt scared to do that.....

I feel stupid for always pointing my mood swings to a wave a grief, but I'm just so jumbled inside. There's so much of Caleb these last two weeks.

My sister sang his song last Friday.....total meltdown.....it was beautiful....

Went to his grave on Sunday night with the family.....my sister in law drew a picture of Caleb that was better than a photograph.....the details were AMAZING......meltdown.....

I've found someone in blogger land that had a daughter that passed away 3 months ago with CP, we've been emailing back and forth about grief and memories......writing the emails have really made me emotional.....

My really good friend, steph, has a daughter with CP. Her name is Sophie. She is 6 years old. She learned how to walk this last week. She's been saying new words everyday. I've been spending lots of time with her the last couple of weeks. I'm so happy for her! SO HAPPY for all of them.....is it evil, cruel, selfish of me to be jealous?


I hate grief. It makes me look like fool. I can't hold it together. I feel like a freak.
Maybe it's not grief, maybe I'm just fabricating all of this up, as an exuse to be a freak.....

All suface stuff, what's underneath???

I have been struggling. I had a complete meltdown this week. for 3 days, i was either crying or feeling totally out of it.

It all started when I stepped on that blasted scale....I hate that thing! I had committed myself to staying on track with my diet (which is my downfall) I am pretty consistent with my workouts, just becuase i love to do them so much. I cut down on my carbs a bit, snacking after supper and had a couple of protein shakes to compliment my new strength training I had added a couple of months ago....everything was looking up....i was going to shed another chunk of body fat......or so I thought.

Nothing! Of course giving up and eating anything and everything wasn't the answer. Waiting is so not easy! It's like as if 2 weeks was SO HARD...??? Man, my flesh is so impatient! We are so trained by society to not wait for anything. Put things on credit, go on crash diets, work out for only a couple of weeks only to give up because nothing is working......

I am at a place after the last week, where God has brought ONCE AGAIN back to the place of letting it all go. He has again revealed to me how much I want control of my life. There are many things in my heart that needed correcting. First off, I'm chasing after the wrong thing. I loved a message that I heard that Wayne spoke on waiting in faith. It just brought me right back to the original dream, the original picture, vision and heart.

Wayne LOVES TO WORSHIP! He loves guitars.....he loves the fact that he can use the guitars he loves to worship the God he loves! But after travelling down a path of impatience, he found himself worshipping the object and losing the heart of worship! He was shopping for the "perfect guitar" and forgot that it was just an object to worship WITH! I want to glorify God! As He leads me down the road of fitness and health, I want my body to be a tool for Him! I want my physical body to come into balance as he calls us to balance. I want to obey him as he leads me down the path of spiritual fruit. The life of self control and peace, and one of patience in waiting in the Lord. I want to run into MY STRONG TOWER. I want every time I put one foot in front of the other on each and everyone of my runs to be in worship and reverence to the Lord.

How did I get so side tracked? Stepping on that stupid scale. thinking that the goal is x weight, and x percent body fat. and x inches, and x size and x km, and x how much I can do in my own stupid strength! BUt the goal is HIM, to be in His presence! To live a life of love just for Him! The prize is the bridegroom! the prize is JESUS!

I was crying to Joe sulking at the lack of inches lost and the lack of weight lost.....and he said, "why are you doing this? to obey or to get a body that's wasting away?" I just kept crying because I have 2 choice at this point. Turn from my sin of impatience, and unbelief, repent and keep going on the road God has set for me? Or give up? Sheesh, I cried because Of COURSE I"M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP!

Tonight is my running night and i don't even feel like going. I need you God>......God, please bring me right to the place where my heart is changed, where mercies are renewed and I can soar like eagles. Bring to that place where I can run and not grow weary and walk and not faint...... I will not refuse, I will not delay.....

This is WORTH watching!!! SUPER GOOD

Continue to delurk yourselves from my last post please!!!!!!

Click here! tell me your thoughts on this video!

Okay.....who are all of you???

I'm very curious to know who reads my blog. I get the regular commenters, but I hear often from others, "I read you blog" but have never seen a comment!

So if you read my blog, please drop a comment, and come out from the shadows!!!! Who are my readers???????
(I have made it possible for those that don't have blogs to still leave comments. This blog is always open everyone! So no excuses!)

Canada day

These pics are a bit out of order. So think of it as from finsih to start..... This is my mom on the walk home, she was pretty tired, it was a little more than her body could handle....but she had fun!
This is my cousin who recently accepted Christ as his Lord and savior. His girlfriend Vangie too! It's so nice to have him back part of the family!
Us, right before they shot off
My awesome in laws! new to the Waldherr's is Eugene...super nice and so good to my sister inlaw!
They steal kisses whenever they can.....so sweet
The best surprise in the world!! my good friend lani (flowerlady) showed up with her 6 kids and hubby! Thanks for coming!!!!!!! you guys are a blast!
Can't do a family thing without a "sister photoshoot!"
Here's the kids just arriving with their fresh tattoos on their faces
Elishah is ready to go!
Here is our secret parking spot! (i'm not going to say where tho!) We were all "NOAH NOAH NOAH......" and noah got all embarrased and ran away! Very cute!
More sisters



Here is my dad getting attacked with silly string......the other videos were too dark and didn't show up.....

so that was our 2008 adventure!

4 runner personalities

The warrior: Is a total serious runner into times, personal records and getting faster all the time. real advanced warriors run marathons more than once a year.

The socializer: Running is way to meet people, be with people and make friends. The more the merrier. They will join running clubs and will prefer to run with a buddy.

The purist: Running is to feel good. They enjoy the wind in their hair and waving at others as they pass eachother. They are in their own little world when they run. Destressing from the day, thinking of various things. It's all about the after glow feeling that they run for.

The exersizer: This runner runs towards a goal...inches lost, body fat burned and a more toned body. They don't run for the 'feel good' feeling, but for the results that they will get.


My sis told me about these 4 runner personalities a couple of weeks ago. It was REALLY COOL!
Can you guess which runner I am??? And if you are a runner...which one are you?????

Happy Canada DAY!!!!!

I love Canada day! I love my country. We were at Caleb's grave the other day and the kids were able to see all the war vets from the Great War. Faith says, "did all da bad guys kill dem at night?"
Our children have no idea how they received the freedom they have....

Today is the day that the Waldherr's get all dressed up in red and white, put canada tatoos all over our bodies, including our faces! Even the babies get a big flag across their forehead!

We load up with bug spray, frisbies, blankets, snacks, glow in the dark necklaces (so we can keep track on the kids in the dark) and a whole lot of spirit and head out to the diefenbaker hill. We sit right in the front row. I can't wait! There will be pics to follow

Here are some pics of other years...One year a huge storm blew in, and my native mother built a tent out of one tarp in 60 seconds flat!
Click on these links to see our other canada day adventures!!!

2007(from my blog)
2007 (from my sister's blog)
2005 (the year of the storm)

Stay tuned for more!!

A runner's story

You learn a whole lot about yourself as a runner.....

Running in itself isn't just one foot in front of the other, or some mindless sport. Running is like a waffle, it has many different compartments. Each little square of it makes up a delicious treat.

Running brings out the best in me and the worst in me. But all in all, with God by my side, running along with me (when I invite him of course), God is using my running to change, shape and challenge me. I never would have dreamed in a million years that I would be doing what I do today. I read in a book once that when you take your first few steps as a runner, you really have no idea how historical those first steps really are until you have traveled some distance and look back at where you started.

Running for me can be defined as an outlet for many things. I run off steam if I'm stressed or upset. Or if I need some quiet time to just let my mind wander around and process my day, my feet will just go into auto pilot and my mind is able to destress. Sometimes I run with good intentions and sometimes not. As I get better and a bit faster, I am facing the challenge of the competitive nature that I didn't know I had! All of a sudden, I'm racing myself, to beat myself from the last run. I find myself more and more pushing the limits to see if I can go farther and go faster. The burn in my lungs that I get after a sprint has become a feeling that I love. Or the burn in my legs. I have to admit that the first time I finished my 5 km goal, I didn't even care that much. I was already thinking about the next course I wanted to conquer!

Human nature is so typical. The sinful part of us wants to live apart from God and be it's own god... the age old challenge....for me, it's a new challenge, only in a very different form that I'm not use to. I guess that's the way it goes no matter what journey God has you on. It's always a matter of making Him Lord over what you do.

I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT that He called me to be a runner. He placed this desire in me since I was a little girl. My one reoccuring dream that I used to have (and still do) is...me running endlessly....running without getting tired....without fainting..... Whenever we sing any song that refers to Isaiah 41 about those that wait on the Lord will run for miles and never get tired......MY SPIRIT wants to BURST!!!!! This is such a passion God has placed in me.

One of my dear mentors and spiritual mothers talked with me the other night. I told her, "I am such a different person, I don't even reconize myself!" She encouraged me and told me that God was going to use ALL OF IT. That through running, God will use the challenges to mold me on the potters wheel.....and that is my prayer.

So I run on. step after step. My running is a physical picture of a spiritual truth. It's about facing your giants, about running through pain, running through fear, learning to NOT run on your own strength, trusting God to provide the strength. It's about fighting the ugly pride that comes out when you do well, and about giving God the glory and thanks. And being open to allowing Him to use it all.

I am truly blessed and thankful that God has given me the strength to follow my dreams of becoming a runner. I know that these beginner miles are the first of many more to come......

What a great weekend!

The weather was beautiful
We spent all weekend as a family without running around all over
The girls and I painted my little planter in the front...we were covered in dark brown stain!
I bought 2 new hanging plants for my front yard
I put nice white rock in our window wells, nice touch instead of 3 foot weeds!

And most importantly, Joe and I think we have a simple plan to start building the playstructure!

What did you do this last weekend???

The firestarter has posted!

My hubby has finally written a new blog......It's on a much higher note....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJF50kwwRJE

happenings around here

Noah and Isaiah's piano recital on June 1st. They did so good! Tanya Bargen is such a blessing (their teacher)
I took Jonah for a picnic lunch over her lunch hour at school. We went to the weir at the river and tied some good strings. She has chocolate all over her mouth from the coffee crisp chocolate drink she picked out! Here we are on the train bridge.
A morning with Daniel. While upstanding citizens, Chris and Nin were giving blood, Daniel came to hang out a couple of weeks ago. he's always such a riot. Here's them jumping on the bed. But don't tell my sis that I let him jump on the bed!
Isaiah's ballet recital. She did super awesome! She was so beautiful! Here's her photo for the year.
Our little ballerina
Mom and daughter, can't you tell?
Noah's birthday party. We got some icecream and put a sparkler in it. Isaiah and Faith were in charge of the decorating. They made this "table" to eat on. Noah is now the age Caleb was when he passed

Ever tried blowing out a sparkler?

I'm starting to talk like forrest gump

Forrest gump: "Well, I figured since I've run this far, I'd might as well, just keep going.... and then once I got there, I thought, since I got this far, I'd might as well just keep going....."

That was me last night. My regular run is now to 7/11 and back which is 3.3 km. But my body was telling me it wasn't done. So I just kept running.
I ran till my body said, I'm done. I didn't map out where I ran last night, so I had no idea how far I was going.
I came home, jumped in my van to measure the route.

I was 300 stinkin meters away from 5 km!
Being that I ran in the wind and rain....I'm pretty happy with that.
God met me on Whelan in a powerful way. His beauty just hit me and it was nice to have His presence right along side.

It was awesome! When I am able to see things through my father's eyes, I am so blessed and encouraged and loved! Walking this road to health and fitness has had it's physical, mental and spiritual battles....to say the least.

One of them was to see all the runner's doing the 10k, and 5k and just think that we aren't "real runners" we' re just "wannabes" BUT NO! Nin and I have poured our HEARTS out this WHOLE YEAR working, persevering, through rain, snow, sickness, discouragement, physical pain(and there's been lots of that!) schedules and time......we did it! It wasn't about running the "2KM" it was that we didn't give up and we will KEEP GOING! All our lives growing up, we were never active. we were the family that sat on the couch and ate junk food all day. If we did do anything active it was only cause we HAD to not EVER cause we WANTED to!

Next year, Nin and I will be running the 5 k and I believe that someday, I will run a marathon. The journey isn't over, and it doesn't end here...... And like I said, it's not about "the marathon" it's about God planting and watering seeds of love and encouragement into my spirit. It's about faith, trust and hope. When I really truly reflect on the whole thing.....it's so barely physical at all (even tho there are GREAT benefits to running!) I hope and pray that God is glorified by me not giving up. I NEVER in my wildest dreams would have thought that me and nin would be in a city run! Here are my little cheerleaders and my biggest fans!

update on the waldherr's

Me: Feeling smothered by extended family these days. doing well in our own little family, I just pray we can set up some clearer boundries with family so that we can grow and excel as our own little family. I shreaded my parents treadmill last night. I beat my time by 8 minutes making it a 20 minute run with a recovery of only 45 seconds! physically feel the best i've ever felt. Spiritually, God is faithful, and good...what more do I need? He recently gave me a "banner" through a spiritual mother saying "Approved by God' Allowing that to sink and soak in........ Looking forward to wrapping up the year, handing in my school reports and organizing and decluttering a few more rooms and closets.(Me and my super cool nephew.....He is such a card, a dude, my little man. love him so much!)

Joe: doing well, very proud of him. He's riding his bike to work. He's wrestling through lots of very good quesitons and God is faithful to answer him. I am just praying and asking God for help to be his helper. I see some growth and breakthroughs here. My prayer is that Joe and I would be a greater team, work together better and use our God given bents to serve him.....I see this happening. There's a perseverance in Joe that I admire.

Noah: Still Mr. Sanguine! He is growing and maturing. He's showing some good charachter. He's always been a struglle to raise just with how busy he is and how "all over the place" he can be. When I think of Noah's heart, right away, I melt. He is a good kid.

Isaiah: She's a constant. Her highs and lows are the most level of all of us. But lately, she seems to be struggling with the number of kids in this house. She thrives on one on one time, and she could use some right now. Her ballet recital is coming up and she's very much looking forward to it! So are we!

Faith: The order of the home. The justice. Growing up just isn't the phrase to describe her. The way she talks, plays, communicates with her siblings just blows us away! She truly has a special channel. I pray we can keep on the right path. There is such a strength in her! So mature for her age.......I ponder often what God will do with her life!

Elishah Pishah: Each week, her ability to communicate gets better and better. She plays barbies, dolls and puts her toys away now! I was reading in the paper this morning that in a couple of months, she will have as many as 50 words to say! They grow so fast! She's walking and doing alot of baby sign language. says, "please, all done, all gone, more, frog, bunny, baby, bye bye, hi (she'll actually say that), bottle, num nums....

the menu

This weekend, I felt I needed something to get me back on the eating track. I made a little menu for myself to stick on my fridge. It definetly has helped. If any one has any other healthy (mostly clean) ideas, please share them! Or if anyone has any thoughts on this menu, please share too!

Breakfast ideas:

Boiled egg and dry toast
Egg whites with broccoli and sprouts in a half a pita or dry toast
Omega 3 cereal (half a cup) with low fat milk
Oatmeal with berries on top and maple syrup (half a cup)
Piece of fruit and a boiled egg
Cream of wheat with berries and maple syrup

Lunch ideas:

Romaine lettuce chicken and a piece of dry toast
Deli meat (low fat) sandwich on bread or half a pita
Pita pizza (a pita split in half) :toppings-peppers, onions, feta, pizza sauce, pinapples, deli meat, chicken, mushrooms, bean sprouts)
Salmon sandwich or pita(half) with pickles, beets and fresh veggies
Tuna sandwich or pita with pickles, beets and fresh veggies
Clear broth soup with rice in it or noodles
Chili and a whole wheat bun
Egg salad sandwich or pita

Snack ideas:

Smoothie: yogurt, low fat milk, berries, mangos pinapples, cottage cheese
Cottage cheese combo
3 thin slices of low fat cheese on crackers with pickles and beets
A cup of shrimp with sauce and crackers
Half an egg and a half a piece of bread
Fresh veggies with cheese
A piece of fruit

Supper ideas:

Baked potato with chicken breast and veggies
Stirfry on brown rice
Greek salad and small piece of lasagna
Low fat meat and potato or rice or pasta
Fresh rolls(rice paper with rice noodles extras: cucumbers, shrimp, chicken, beef slivered carrots) and stirfry veggies
Pita pizza
Chili with ww bun
Chicken meat balls with rice or pasta
One burger
Stirfry toppings: shrimp, chicken, beef, bean sprouts, mushrooms, peppers, onions, cabbage, broccoli, hotsauce.