Summer is so great

I'm starting to look like a different race. My skin is now a dark brown and I am happy....even tho I will look like a leather shoe before I'm 35.....
Oh well, soak up the rays now....look old and wrinkled later.....
Yesterday, I fell asleep in the sun to my children giving me a back massage....how cool is that!

We are waiting to hear if we can buy the house we are in now. We have applied, and just waiting.
God led me to Luke 12 this morning in tieing in with Ecclesiasties 5. The parable of the rich sower and in Ecc it talks about riches being meaningless. I find it interesting, yet totally a God thing that he is leading me here just as we are on the verge of prosperity.

Well, I'd better do my chores before my house turns into a sauna. My kids are awaiting breakfast, and I'm excited to work in my yard again today!
God is good. In Ecclesiasties, one thing, I felt the spirit teaching me was that contentment of the heart and being able to enjoy all that God has given you is also a bonus gift of a blessing! Your riches come from him, but the gratefulness and contentment also come from him. In verse 5 (i think) it said that those who love wealth will never be sastified with his income and whoever loves money will never have enough. In Luke God calls you a fool if you think that you will be happy when you are rich....and your life may be taken from you on this very night if you do not find your riches in God.

Well, that's it for now...
peace of God be with you....(and no one say, "and also with you" in my comment box!! LOL)

Pics of Noah's 7th birthday

Noah's 7th birthday was a huge hit! We took him to earl's just mom and dad alone. He was allowed to get anything he wanted.....so of course he ordered a chocolate milkshake!!!
Dad and Noah....waiting for thier chicken fingers and fries

after our supper we took him to the movie "cars" it was a good lesson for him to see that winning isn't the purpose to playing. That you can be a "winner" by doing the right thing!
Noah is such a great kid. I love that God gave him to us!

A great friend

Me and Ranya after a laugh attack...we usually cry we laugh so hard....

I went out tonight with someone who becomes more and more meaningful to me. As I sat on the deck of Jerry's eating icecream, I realized just how blessed I really am to have such a great friend in my life. I was just filled with a total sense of joy. A joy that God gave me someone that some people look for their whole lives....a true friend.

My friend Ranya and I have been through everything you could think of. Cat scraps to laugh attacks. From tears to laughter. From heart ache to unspeakable joy. She blessed me to be there for the birth of 2 of her children. She's seen me on my worst days and my good days and vice versa. We hang out, chill out, freak out together. We talk on the phone everyday about parenting, life, God, crazy people in waiting rooms....

Through all these memories, I have bonded to this amazing woman. Her strength to carry on is a testimony of God's power. She is open and as honest as she can be. She knows when she gets confused and asks for help. She desires more than anything to hear God's voice. I look at all she's been through and know there is a God. Many testimonies have come forward about this girl....and believe me, these words of prophecy that have been spoken over her are .... WOW .... She doesn't see it right now, but one day, when she is speaking into people with great authority, she'll understand. She has the testimony. She has the experience. She will have all the victory in Jesus. God's a busy bee, working and laying foundations. As a friend, I see small breakthoughs. As I walk along side her, I witness her spirit draw near to the Father. I see potential. I see a child of God. I see a sister in Christ. I see my friend.

Ranya, I hope you never doubt how much I love you. There is a bond between us that God has made. I pray that God continues to protect our friendship, and our walk towards righteousness. Know that I am here for you no matter what. Through thick, through thin...(up till now it's been pretty thick! soon I'm sure we'll see some blue skies.....
I'm comitted to you, not out of duty, but out of passionate love to see freedom in your life. I'm so thankful to say that you re my friend. I thank God he put you in my life. I'm so blessed to have you.
Love, Carebear...(hugs)

family planning

i think it's funny how we are all commenting on joe's post in my blog!!

This is so encouraging guys! thank you all for sharing! I love how we encourage one another to follow christ and submit to his plan for our lives. Both camille and tanya, your story adds to how God works.
It's such a journey. As long as we all keep looking up, God will direct us all

I can't believe that i've spent 10 years of my marriage in confusion to this issue. I wish that I would have listened sooner to God's leasing on this area. I do believe tho that He is and will be glorified, regardless of when i 'get it'.

These last few days, God has been directing me in being a good steward of what he gives us. If we had a million dollars, would we just spend it like crazy? no, we would use the money wisely. And seek God to how he wanted us to use it.
Same goes with our fertility. I want to listen to God as to when he wants us to have more babies....if any at all. I think both Joe and I know there is at least one more on the horizon....but we will keep our ears and eyes open to God and His will.

I really feel at peace with this serena stuff because it really is taking care of your body. I haven't started it yet, still reading the material. Thanks ya'll for sharing in this journey.
let's keep the lines of communication open and pray that God's heart will be heard in these issues.

The first book that was written by mary pride, (i've only read 4 chapters so far)
I felt like she missed someof the blessings in marriage. She puts alot of emphasis on having babies, making babies, bearing babies, bearing fruit.......she also (in my opinion down plays the joy and blessing of romance and companionship) for the sake of making babies. I am very much for the fact that we are called to multiply...if God has blessed us with fertility, but to miss the romance....i don't know.
As far as the romance goes, I believe that God uses the parallel of a wedding and the bride and bride groom for a reason. he wants to have a romance with us. It's totally biblical! So I feel like she is missing this amazing piece to the mystery as the bible calls it.
that's it for now
blessings

Family Planning

Firestarter has posted on family planning....it's a gooder. click here to read it!

A story about my son Noah

Lately I've been feeling at a loss for my son. Noah is going to be 7 in one week. Lately he's been going through some tough stuff. As all kids grow up, they make mistakes. and being human....they always find ways to minimize their sins. Just like adults (they probably learn it from us) they make excuses for what they did wrong. The problem with that is that you can never turn from your sin if you don't admit to it. By justifying it, your heart never changes. By blaming others, you can never have the freedom of repentance.

The last few months have become increasingly more difficult in this area with Noah. Each week, he gets more and more reasons to why he disobeys.

I've cryed out to the Lord regarding this many times. Praying for Noah and asking God to reveal any sin in my life as well. I knew that if I didn't get to his heart, no spank or consequence would matter. Last week, he actually slapped Isaiah in the face!!!!!! Warning bells flashed all around me. Sirens, horns and red flags! This child needs a break through in his spirit!!
God has been faithful once again to help us over come lies and reach into our hearts.
The bible is sharper than any two edged sword and it can penetrate any bone and fibre. It goes straight into the places that need surgery. My son recieved that today.
He was broken of a sin and cried for the seriousness of it. My heart wept for his pain, but was joyful becuase I could see him being set free.
(Of course, this is our walk with the Lord...)
There is a lie out there that says that "it's normal, don't worry about it" "kids will be kids"
Someone said to me today, earlier this morning that by the time Noah is a teenager, he will hate me!!!!!!!
WHAT???
Why do we curse our youth with such a life!
God has given me children that will rise up and call me blessed someday and that's a promise. If i train up my children in the way they should go....They will not depart from the way!
I will not accept that my children have to suffer the 'teenage curse of rebellion" We can get through this life wihtout having the enemy nearly taking out my family first.
THat's what happened to me and my sister. Our testimony....as exciting and amazing as it is.....came at a GREAT COST!!!!!!!! And we still talk about how we are reaping what we have sown years ago.

I want to believe God for more, trust him for more and ask him for more. I want to enjoy my kids when they are "little adults" (teens) I want to reap a harvest that will be glorious to the Kingdom of God!

something old, something new

here are a few pics that Joe got put on to disk when we were first together, 10 years ago.


Here we are at WEM. Our first vacation.
My crazy self....sanguine of course
Pregnant with Caleb, on our first christmas
Me, 2 weeks before he was born.....now there's a house!!!!!!
Daddy sleeping with Caleb....he was so small. and now he's so BIG!
Hey dude!
Me and baby
Ninette at age 13!
Joe and I in our first Duplex. Wedge road. That couch behind us had beetles in it once!!!

Back when we could carry Caleb around! My hair was so long!
that's it for now

I screwed up, but God lifts me up!

Yesterday,........i threw up.......sigh, blush, (hang head.....)
Today I woke up and didn't shake it off. I started off the day with eating 3 croissants loaded with jam and felt like crap. Tempted to get rid of it again, I decided that I'm not going down a road that takes me to death. I made a bad choice for breakfast, and I'll have to live with those choices.
As the day has gone on, I have chosen not to turn to the One who can save me.
Don't you hate that! When your in desperate need for Him and you run away!!!

Dependance dependance dependance
Why do we so badly want independance? When all that gives us is a mess?
How did I get here? Our pastor's wife said once, "you walked there."
But really, I haven't spent time in the word for over a week, I haven't soaked in His presence.
What's really happening is I"M STARVING!
Spiritually, i am starving. So, to survive, I'm running to what I used to run to to make me feel better....food.
Note to self: I'm not starving physically....so do not eat food
I'm starving spiritually....so eat the word.....

Why am I doing this? Why did I loose all this weight? Why have a chosen to walk this way in relationship to food?

To show His glory through me
To Obey Him
Inwardly I am renewing myself, not outwardly
To take care of the temple He lives in (being a good steward of what he's given me)
To be an imitator of Him
To make a stand against gluttony and all the crap that comes with it!
To set an example to those walking around me
To show that through Him ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE
To show God that I trust him

I am not doing it .....

To get skinny
To be competitve
To be boastful
To look like a cover on a magazine
To be a size....6
To be a stuck up snobby skinny person LOL

Father, you are the lord, who has made all things. You alone stretched out the heavens and spread the earth. You've performed many wonders. The things You planned for us, no one can recount. They are too numerous to count.

I rememeber today that God loves me just the way I am. My worth isn't based on my dress size or phyiscal appearance. It's based solely on the fact that God loves my unconditionally. He simply loves me with a never-ending, wide as the universe love.

That is me today. I'm am hungry for some real food now
I'm am a little weary from walking in sin at the moment, but God is faithful and just to cleanse me from all unreighteousness, when I TURN TURN TURN from my sin and to Him. ANd that's what I'm doing right now.
Blessings

Weighing In

My faithful friends have started this blog quite a while ago. It is called, "weighing in". It is a group of girls that are on the journey to freedom in their eating habits. They asked me to join a while ago, but I guess it wasn't God's timing yet. I am now posting on this blog along with Crystal, Tanya and andrea.
You are free to come and encourage, join and be a part of our journey.
I am honored to have a place to honor God with these sisters and I pray it will bring glory to His name!
Blessings

50 pounds down, This is only the beginning....

God has done it.....
He has finished a part of the journey
He now has to take me into new parts of the promised land.
As God always does, we think we've arrived, and He again tells us we are only beginning!

As of today, I am my goal weight. I have lost a total of 50 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I told Joe this morning, and he said, it funny, cause it doesn't seem that you've made many lifestyle changes....
Hmmmm, We realized that it's taken me 10 months to get here and the change was so gradual that it didn't seem so drastic. Looking back to 10 months ago, my relationship with food was totally different. I still overeat sometimes, and have the very odd, occasional slip with throwing up, but God really has changed me!
10 months ago, I was a closet eater. 2/3rds of all I ate was done in secret. I ate in the middle of the night and as soon as I got up in the morning. I would eat before we would go out to eat. I would eat my "leftover's" when we got home. I thought about food or eating all the time. I would get grumpy if there was no food, or if I didn't get my "time alone" with my food. Family trips were especially hard for me, because I would be too embarrased to eat the amounts I usually do infront of everyone. I would lay in bed every night and repent to God of how food over takes me. I would dream of all I would do the next day to change my habits. But the next day was defeated immediatly by biting into chocolate, or cookie dough.
..........It affected my relationship with everyone! My spiritual condition spilled over to everyone around me. My husband suffered becuase I was depressed with myself. Our intamacy suffered becuase of my lack of confidence, energy, and preoccupation with my issues. My children suffered becuase when mom needed "time to herself" they just had to deal with it. I was always tired, always out of breath, and out of shape. My extra weight made my feet hurt, my legs and i had many headaches. I hated the thought of stairs, long walks or knowing I forgot something and had to go back and get it.
........ When I write about it, I can't believe that I lived like that! And it fills me with gratefulness that God saw me worth it to come and help me get out of that pit.
I was telling my friend the other day that I feel "normal" She laughed. I don't think she really understood what I meant. Becuase I had such an unormal life, I've always longed to see food as just that.....food. I've wanted to go to a buffet and just eat till I was satisfied. I would look at "normal people" (people that had a normal relationship with food) and wanted to be like them. But didn't know how to get there.
(This post is the contrast of where I was and where God has brought me. Please know that it was very many baby steps of obedience and MUCH GRACE that has gotten me here.)
But now, I feel yucky if I'm over full. I have 3 normal meals a day. I make wise choices. I have room in my brain for other things! I'm not tired all the time. I have energy! I can run up the stairs 2 at a time! I can play with my kids in the park. And our marriage really has gotten better! I am at peace with food. I am at peace with God and with others....(most of the time) Compared to before, I feel like the yoke of slavery really has been lifted off! So, becuase of this, I am free to serve, love, worship, and just be my silly ol me!

I have really been convicted that gluttony needs to be called what it is. We use other names like "bulemia" or "compulsive overeating" as terms for "eating disorders" when most of the time it really is just sin. When I use the word "bulemia" in my testimony, please know that I do not have an "eating disorder" as what the doctors would call it. I simply used to eat to the point where i'd feel sick and not want to reap the consequences of the calories. So by my choice, I would throw up the food. Over time, it became a habit and a stronghold. But it all started with a sin. I misplaced heart that should have belonged to God. I have a deep conviction that women are being decieved. They are being told that their eating habits are because they are victims. We are all responsible for our every action. No matter what our circumstance, we are still called to have no false gods and are held accountable by God if we do.

The fruit is endless. There is much more, but don't feel free to share all of it yet. Maybe if you get me for a coffee, I can share more revelations that God has shown me. This just scracthes the surface.
All because my God gave His son to die.....for me......can I be really free.....
Thank you Jesus!

Women are called to respect their man....and that's what I want to do!

We just finished a class at our church on love and respect. Many marriages were blessed and challenged with this obvious, yet totally missed teaching out of the Word of God!

Our lives have been forever changed!
I have completely removed myself from my husbands authority. I really have been working hard at trying to submit to him and allow him to grow and lead, but there was just one thing from preventing that.....ME!!!!
God revealed huge things to me this weekend. As I poured out my fears, hurts and pains to him, he showed me really were my heart was........in sin......
Everytime I walked in fear in my marriage, I was blatently saying that God was not trustworthy, not faithful, and not worthy to be worshipped! In my brokeness, I repentented to Him and to my husband. Through this act of God, I have been freed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a spiritually felt a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders! I have been freed to truly be Joe's helper and not his guide. I have fallen into a deeper respect for him as I see how awesome God has made him.
I feel so good to say that I no longer have to hold Joe accountable....that's God's job! And God will do it well!!! I feel so good to say that I don't have to keep close watch on Joe's hobbies, I no longer have to make sure Joe has "guardrails" on his walk with Christ!! (Man, I never want to do that again! and if I do....I will know that I is MY SIN and not his!)
I feel so good to know that I'm only responsible for myself!
Joe is an amazing man! I absoulutly shouldn't have been scared in the first place! I trust Joe to lead us well, to be human, but to lead us well. I trust the GOD THAT LEADS HIM!
I know now that when Joe makes a mistake, I will be more free to help him now, then condemn and shame him.
I have let go of ALL expectations, ALL MY plans, and will let God finally do what He' s died to do all along ( pun intented!)

I want to share with you a piece of fruit:

Last night, Joe got a shipment in of a radio control car that he ordered online. Normally in the past I would have totally resented the car and have grumbled just enough to let him know I was not impressed. And I had a new heart! I went outside and watched him drive it around and had a really good time.
After wards, Joe said, "you know, the only time you've ever come out to watch me is when we've had company"
That really spoke to me....alot of things.....
I have missed out on so much of my husbands life, all because of fear.....but I am thankful that God reedems the years we mess up...


There is so much more, But that is the heart of what has happened. Thanks for listening.

oh me gosh

Please pray for us....

The Waldherr's have been sick with the flu for a week. I am feeling like crap now for the 4th day. Fluish.....yuck...

We need healing here....

Today....

Today, I'm cleaning my house

Today, my feelings are following my spirit

Today, Noah and I are going for a bikeride

Today, my sister has taken Faith for the day

Today, I'm going to water my grass for the first time this season

Today, I'm thankful for exactly the way God made my husband

Today, I want to embrace all that he can offer me and be mindful of how he completes me

Today, I am praying for a dear friend that is on my heart

Today, I want to be all that God has created to be!!!

The word talks ALLOT about "today" God knows that anything outside of today is out of our power. Today is our only hope....


What are you doing today???

Time to try some thing new and plant some corn!

Growing up, we never had a yard. We always lived in apartments, town houses and such. Our grass was always freshly mowed and walks shoveled. When Joe and I got married, we rented a duplex for the first year or two. Or yard was......pittiful. I had no idea where to start....
Our second home was also a duplex and we got a little more ambitious! I planted a 3 by 3 foot garden LOL
I planted, watched it grow, looked at the weeds that grew in the midst of it, then it all died in the fall without me touching it for the whole time.
The next year I planted about 3 strawberry plants and probably ate only 3 or 4 actual berries!
Then we moved to where we are now. What a nice yard! So I decided to officially start "gardening". My next one was still pitiful, but we ate at least some carrots, peas and some onions. The weeds were taller than the veggies....
3 years after that, I am feeling alot more confident in what I'm doing. I'm excited to start composting this year, and expect a great harvest.
This makes me think of actually walking with Jesus.
You learn by DOING.
You just keep trying and trying again.
Each year you push yourself into new and intimidating things you have learned but have never tried.
My sister said I should start a corn field. (which is funny becuase my "corn field" would consist of one row of corn. She said that then my kids could go and play in the "corn field"......
I just imagined them running through the one row......LOL
The other thing about this is our attitude.

It's important that we don't get overwhelmed with these new things and don't beat ourselves up when we don't do it like someone whose been doing it for 20 years!
It really takes time to master, but God doesn't care about mastering as much as our hearts and efforts to pushing through.

That's it for today
Blessings

Night out for the girls

I got to go out with Crystal last night for a coffee.....but she had a coke....
It was nice to just be alone with her without any kids. She tried humus with me which I was very proud of her for!!
Her daughter babysat for me and was great. After our coffee/coke, me and her and her daughter sat and talked till 11:30!! They are great people.....
I will post pics of the passover as soon as i can get them off the camera!!
Toodles...

Passover

Tonight my family and extended family is celebrating passover. It's such a neat time to fellowship, eat and remember God's wonders. Although, I don't know in depth much about it, I still am so blessed to take in and soak in the ceremony of it all. The whole family has a part from the youngest to the oldest. We go through the exodus story where God sent the 10 plagues to free His chosen people. My kids and I colored all 10 plagues. We even looked up images of lice on the net....they were so glad that they weren't egyptian!! Each year I notice a little more soak into each of my kids. Noah has really grown spiritually in the last few months. I'm so proud of him.

I got to make Matzo ball soup!!! YUMMY! There's games for the kids, treats, and a seder plate to pass around with items on there to remind us of salvery and freedom! I can't wait. Each year I take in new depths of it and can't wait to hear what God will say to me this year! Post pics later....

Our house is almost clean!!.......GROAN.......The kitchen is a bomb, and I'm tired....
I got all the winter stuff put away. That's a load off.
Ate kraft dinner for lunch......feel sick
I'm getting a composter this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Super excited to make rotten stuff turn into nutrients!!!

Um, we watched "fun with dick and jane" last night.....it sucked. I love jim carrey and he had his moments, but over all, i wasn't impressed....

I've eaten a ton of choclate eggs this week, gotta stop that!
Well,
hE HAS RISEN, HE HAS RISEN INDEED!!!!!
WE SERVE AND VERY ALIVE LORD AND SAVIOR

No time to blog

sorry readers, my life has picked up dramatically. I barely have enough time to check my email!

I hope you still check in from time to time to see if I do post something......
It's swimming day today, so were off to splash in the pool and do the waterslide!

blessings to everyone

Praise God for His wrath!!!

This sunday, Kelly shared his heart on repentance. The joy that the Lord gives us new mercies every morning. Although we don't like to think about this part, God's wrath is also there and it is coming.

God's wrath is just another amazing quality that my God has! Our God is so loving that He is going to bring justice to all the wrong doings someday. I hear allot of people say that they don't want to believe in God because He allows bad things to happen to good people. They say that there is too much suffering in the world and that if He were God, He wouldn't allow that to happen.
As time passes in this world, we are given a gift.....free choice.
Without free will, there is no love. Without any choice, there would be no way to chose to offer peace, love, acceptance, forgiveness, joy. What a gift that God has given us. Through my free will, I am able to give Joe a huge squeeze to show I love him. I can chose to phone a friend when she's in need. And others can chose out of their own choice to show me how much they care for me.
Of course, with this gift, some people (actually ALL people, the bible says that all have fallen short of doing right) abuse this from one time to another. We use this precious gift to hurt one another, to fill our needs instead of others. Most of us have good intentions, but some do not.
Those that have been making bad choices for many years, have allowed their conscience to be seared (Hebrews 12) Once they have hardened their heart, these people can hurt alot of people.

God loves us so much that He will one day bring justice to all the wrong. That makes me feel secure and safe. There's a part of me too, that wants to make sure I'm in line so that I am not in the path of His wrath. You know what I love about all this? I love that I don't have to be the judge. It's hard being a judge! Let me tell you!!! Trying to break up my kids's fights and trying to bring them justice is very hard! Cause I wasn't there to witness it half the time! I'm only human. And I know that allot of times, I do not bring my children proper justice. But God sees all! He knows all and HAS PERFECT LOVE!! HE IS PERFECT! So I feel so incredibly safe to know that a PERFECT GOD will one day bring perfect justice! Now that's a load off my back!
When my neighbour harrases my guests for parking in front of her house, it's not for me to judge her.....it's my job to love her and let God do the judging.
When someone cuts me off,
When someone gossips about me
When someone backs out of a commitment on me
When someone steals from me
When someone smashes in my window.........
God will judge....and I don't have to

I was reading in Psalm 94 today. It's a psalm full of truth that God will pay back our enemies someday. and in the middle of the passage it says, Blessed is the man who God disciplines, for when trouble comes, he will be will find rest.

So there is always that choice.
Do we recieve His discipline.. and allow it to change us....which is for our own good and cause He loves us?
Or ingore His commands and pay for it later?
I think I'd rather have rest when trouble comes than strife and have Him take me out for hurting people.

God's laws are there for one reason only......
To love one another!!!
that's it!
And when you break those laws....you are for surely hurting someone, which will in turn ask for justice.
The beauty of having Jesus as my Lord and savior is that I recieve forgiveness through the price He payed on my behalf. He recieved the nails that should have been nailed through MY hands! And now through God's PERFECT plan of salvation...
He can turn all things to good....even my mistakes.

What an awesome God we serve!!

Joe has something to share

Please read the heart of my hubby....
It is beautiful

"A tribute to a Godly man"

Blue skies

I am need of some blue skies.
I've had a tough week.

Making some choices based out of fear. Fear that I won't be loved, that I'm not loved....
All those stupid lies.

I need to refocus. ALL ON JESUS
And when that happens, all is well. My spirit can rest.

On days of gray
When doubt clouds my view
It’s so hard to see past my fears
My strength seems to fade
And it’s all I can do
To hold on, ’til the light reappears
Still, I believe though some rain’s bound to fall
That you’re here next to me
And you’re over it all





Lord, the sky’s still blue
For my hope is in you
You’re my joy
You’re the dream that’s still alive
Like the wind at my back
And the sun on my face
You are life
You’re grace
You are blue skies
You’re my blue skies
When nights are long
Seems the dark has no end
For waiting beyond
Where the morning begins
Is the dawn, and you’re mercy anew
Oh, to believe we’re alive in you’re love
There is so much to see
If we keep looking up