I don't want to, my flesh is squeeling like a pig, but I know it's time. Today I start my journey towards being normal. I have to have faith that God is bigger than all my failures, all my attempts and He is bigger than how many years I have been in bondage to this. I have been bulemic since I was 12 years old. That's 14 years of crazy behaviour. God so desperatly wants to heal me from this, but in the last 5 years, I've just been pretending that it's not there, going numb to that part of my life.
I'm not embarrased, you may be for me....but I'm totally broken. And since this blog is a way to glorify my awesome God, I want to, in faith, share this journey so that God may show His healing power through it. I admit that I'm terrified, even tho that God has not given us that spirit. I admit that I lack faith and that I'm afraid of failing again....
Another reason that I share this is that it is a leap of faith with accountability. If I were to keep this all to myself, I am not risking anything. If I failed, no one would know. If I am victorious, no one would know either. I want God to know my determination.
And so it begins.....
God help.....
I'm feeling anxious
7 comments:
Praise God and to Him be the Glory forever and ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is mighty, He is faithful, He is merciful, He is gracious and compassionate, He is slow to anger and rich in love, He is worthy, He is unchanging, He is awesome!
You will overcome this, God has not left you here to wander, but to find freedom and victory in Him! Rise up mighty woman of God, the end is near!
If only we were all so humble and open about our sin! A year ago, I had an equally broken moment before the Lord and also went public with my sin. Mine wasn't so easy to hide as yours as I WORE mine on my body...my sin was gluttony. The Lord truly met me in that moment and did amazing things for me...he is faithful and not a respecter of persons, so I know He will do the same for you and lead you into freedom!
A passage of scripture that really ministered to me was this:
Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah
I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD," and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah
Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him.
You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you. (psalm 32)
God bless you!
tina
You blow me away.
Do you realize how much victory is happening!! It's awesome, girl! It is going to do awesome things in the heavenlies, and also among us, because you have chosen to be real and vulnerable with us. Thank you. And we will try to keep you accountable, just as I ask you to keep me accountable. (for a gazillion things!)
Man, your family is beginning to become very special to me.
You're awesome...and God's awesome...you both are awesome! Thanks for sharing that! How can we help? We love you lots and lots and want to support you. Blessings!
I love your courage! My prayers are with you in this. I'm very proud of you, and I know how difficult this is. Definitely lean on God, and on your brothers and sisters that God puts in your path. If you need good Christian professional help - get it. It's too important. Keep plugging no matter what. God is indeed faithful and will see you through it. May God give you strength and supportive people - Sue
Climbing is hard work, you get blisters on your hands, jabbed by sharp rocks, not to mention you could fall.
But you have chosen to move, you are no longer scared to try. You know the blessings on the other side of obedience.
You go girl, you climb. I am right behind you and I will do my best not to let you fall. And I will lift you up in prayer to the one who will rise you up in your walk!
I love you very much!
stop making me cry....I'm all emotional as it is.....
Thank you so much for all the love you have showed me! I love you guys! I know that you're all here for me.
God is sustaining me. I am not as afraid as before I started climbing. I'm taking this one day at a time. That's all I can do. Trying to keep my emotions under the authority of God's peace and stablity. Just doing what I need to do.....
I screwed up yesterday tho. I may post on that I'm not sure....
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