Our family trip to Edmonton

Before we went to Edmonton, we spent a day in the park. On that beautiful day when the leaves were so colorful!





My dad happened to be in Edmonton on the same day! How cool is that? So I convinced him to do the mind bender with me! So much fun! I screamed the whole time and dad laughed uncontrollably!

Joe and Noah on the famous swing of the century!


The classic merry go round. Faith rode this about 3 times!

The mini coaster.
On the balloon ride! We had so much fun!

In the play land. It's like the fun factory, only 20 times better!
The good ol spaghetti factory


On to the water park!



I ran into Noah at one point in the water park and asked how he was doing. I heard him say something about the sky screamer. I jumped in and said,'NO! you can't go on that!" He said, "mom, i already did!" LONG PAUSE......."Oh,......then let me go get my camera and take a picture of you then!" So here's Noah way at the top of the tallest slide!


This was a new thing they built! It was amazing and so much fun! At the very top, you can see a big "slurpee type cup" it would fill with water and then dump on the whole play structure!!!! it was cool!
Me and my faithfullness
Joe and Faith relaxing on the "beach"
The girls running through the surf
Time to go :(
And a last trip to the Science center before we hit the road. We ended up getting in for free since there wasn't many galleries open from "body worlds"
It was a blast. Something that we all needed....Back to real life....

Weight loss, running and family trip

It's so weird how something that can be such a big battle at one point in your life and then with a serious change of circumstances, that struggle just doesn't matter anymore.

I really don't care about food anymore. Ever since this whole "thing" started, I'm down 20 pounds. Food just doesn't taste good anymore. I guess at this point in my life, I am more determined to get to a place where I'm happy with my body and weight. I am officially NOT overweight anymore! I am actually healthy! I had a weight watchers goal 3 years ago which I only got within 3 pounds of it. Now I'm below it....

So I guess stress does have it's good points.....I do feel better about myself knowing that I've shed another chunk of fat. I've also started running again, which feels amazing being so much lighter! The difference now is that I spend the whole time in deep worship. All my stupid music has been permanently deleted! So that feels good too. Such a black and white difference to run with God and focus my soul on Him than to fill my head and spirit with junk.

So that's another little update. Joe is taking us to Edmonton for a family trip. We leave on Monday, very excited! We will be at the water park and I'm going to meet my dad up there and go on the mind bender rollercoaster with him! Ikea will be seeing us and the Olive Garden of course! Also, one of mine and Joe's favorite restaurants is the spaghetti factory. Everytime we are at West Ed Mall, we make a trip for the Spaghetti Factory!

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes always perseveres....
Love never fails.

The love that God has given us is such a supernatural blessing. I read in a book the other day that in a marriage, at some point, you will have to die to self in order to hold that thing together. And that love that comes from the flesh will eventually run out. You will run dry. We are not designed by God to love without Him. He IS LOVE! Without God as the source, love runs dry.

Only a supernatural source of life and love can survive the attacks against marriages today. God has been so good and gentle....I'm amazed at all the love that Joe and I have for each other that's always been there. and it's grown over the last 13 years. He's worth it, what we have together is worth it. He's my other half, my soul mate, we just fit together like hot chocolate and pumpkin pie. There's no other fit. What God has joined together, let man not separate.....

Love always protects
always hopes
always trusts
always perseveres

world turned upside down....again....

totally struggling today to hold on to truth. I'm tired of my world crashing. There's only one thing that can save me, the cross of Jesus. I am so weak. If God places prayers on your heart, please lift us up in faith. Please stand in the gap for us. This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life! Pray that I hold true to what God says.

If anyone has a word from God or a scripture, please share if God tells you to.

Thanks to all who love us and are praying.

Do you go to the store for milk or the cow???

The daily battle and renewal of the christian....Dying to self and living in spirit. Every follower of Jesus is in the process of becoming who they already are in Christ. The moment that Christ was invited into our lives, we immediately inherit all the spiritual blessings and become co-heirs with him. We immediately become holy, righteous, blameless, forgiven as far as the east is from the west and so much more than we could ever imagine!

We are made up of 4 parts. Our soul (which is our mind, will and emotions) and then when we invite God into our hearts, through Jesus, we awaken our spirit. Our spirit man is where God lives. Our flesh is our thoughts, feelings and our bodies. A lot of Christians walk around living from their flesh. They make decisions based on their feelings, their past experiences and how they are feeling physically that day. But God designed us to live out of our spirits. The place where there is a never ending source of strength. A never ending source of love, wisdom, and grace.

I've been praying, asking God to reveal the secrets of His promises and His word. I'm such an analyzer, I try to mentally 'figure out' the mysteries of God. I am so amazed at how much I live in my flesh! He tells us to "Live by the spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh which bring death and sin" With everything that's happened in our home, our marriage, I am blessed/challenged to rely fully on God.

There's nothing in my strength that I can do to help all of this. It's true when God says that He is made perfect in our weakness! Each day, God shows me in a deeper way that HE IS THE ONLY ANSWER! I run to Joe to 'fix' how I feel, but he doesn't have the equipment to "feed me".

It's a funny walk, because God did design marriage to be a physical picture of a spiritual truth. He created the man to play the role of Christ, while the woman plays the role of the church. Christ died for the church! The man was designed to be the giver, the coverer, the protector, and the one who washes his wife's spirit with the word and builds her up.....

There is a story that Joe had me read last week and it's perfect for what I'm trying to say. A father and a son go to a farm and the father shows him how to milk a cow. The boy says, "THAT"S NOT REAL MILK!!! Real milk comes from a store!!!!!"

so often I go to the store for my source of milk, instead of the cow! God is the real source, the real deal, unfiltered grace and love, unfiltered covering and protection, unfiltered washing!!! But I've spent my life going to the store getting milk without its natural vitamins. Even tho Joe has God living inside of him and is equipped to "feed me" and is designed to "feed me" if I don't go to the cow first, it doesn't matter how much Joe feeds me, I'm going to eventually starve!

So I'm learning to go to the cow, and in the process, I'm realizing how much I've been drinking watered down milk that's lost so many vitamins.
Teach me God, I need you.....

Right order

God's order is amazing. Out of His perfect love for us, He has arranged, created, and designed an order for everything. It's been a very scary thing for me to let go of my plans and dreams and trust that God will rebuild it all. I am watching someone transform before my very eyes! It's the most amazing, scariest thing I've ever seen! If God has prepared us for such time as this, then He will give me what I need to follow Him.

It's time to make the order right. It's time to let go of false security blankets, pacifiers and things that medicate the pain. It's time to lay it down right, jump off the biggest cliff of them all. To let go of everything. To learn true surrender. It's time to die, so that we can dream again.

God spoke to me today, He said, "matthew 14:26" (sometimes, he will whisper a scripture in my head and He never fails to amaze that it speaks to me everytime!)

It says, "they saw Jesus walking on the water but didn't recongnize him and said, "IT"S A GHOST!!!" and Jesus IMMEDIATELY replied, "Take courage, it is I, don't be afraid."

Man.......I never would have dreamed that God would tear it all down, to build something made of real rubies and diamonds. I never thought that I would be able to 'shake off the dust' of the past and clothe myself in robes of splendor.....

Thanks for the valley? Yes! Thank you for the valley!

It's still so amazing to me each day that in the crunch, in fire, in pressure, in a hot desert, in the pruning....what can truly be accomplished.

When you're hanging on by that one thread (and if that one thread is Jesus) miracles happen. God gives me more each day to hold on to. The foundation on which my faith stands is being rebuilt. The branches that are not bearing fruit are being pruned so that through Him, I will bear fruit. It's been my heart's cry for years....

He is gently removing/I am surrendering all that is not Him
He is replacing/I'm allowing Him to fill me
What a process. I'm a quick fix kinda person. I often ponder that I've been married for 12 years and it's taken all this time to begin to learn these things. I often grieve the time lost. But in my grief of lost time, God gives me this:

Better is ONE day in your courts, than 1000 days else where. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God that dwell in the tents of the wicked. Blessed is the man who trusts in You....

I've always wanted it real. I've always hated fake.
And now, it's God's chance to make it real.
To get rid of the fake, the fantasy.
The truth hurts, but it sets you free.
So each day, we choose the hard truth over a fake love.....

Truth for me and my family

Thus saith the Lord: (Isaiah 54 in my words)

Enlarge your tent!
Don't be afraid!
You will forget the shame of your youth
The Holy One is your Redeemer
He is your husband
My unfailing love for you will not be shaken
Oh, afflicted family! Lashed by storms and not comforted!
I will build you with stones of turquiose
Your foundations with sapphires
You battlements with rubies
You walls with precious stones

You kids will be taught by the Lord and great will be their peace.
Tyranny will be far from you and you will have nothing to fear!
He is making us weapons. He alone is shaping our lives into something new.
No weapon formed against us will have victory!

the power of thoughts

I've been down the last couple of days. Still growing, still being carried, but down. God's way is so much higher than our ways. Following after God's plan and purposes are so foreign to human nature!

To grasp His love, His mercy, forgiveness, His grace and power......humans put God in a little box all the time! Our logic loves and takes comfort in what we know and see.

That is the opposite of faith. Faith is being sure of what is unseen....
Everything that is apart from faith is sin. WOW. every step I'm taking in this fire is either out of faith or fear. Fear brings death, faith brings life. It's so cut and dry for me today. Yesterday I chose to fear. Today, I am choosing to believe in what is unseen.

These are my thoughts today.
I will not settle for anything less than a 10. A 10 in my marriage, family and my personal walk with my God.
He is either redeemer or He's not
He is either healer, deliverer, or He's not

There's no maybe with God. He just IS. He calls Himself, "I AM"

And I know HE IS.....

The sweet place of surrender

There's only two kinds of pain
There's the pain of walking in your sin...
and the pain of going through the fire with the Lord.

Walking in sin without repenting is so painful! There's such weight, such a heavy load that isn't meant for you to carry! It wasn't meant for human kind to carry, it was meant to Jesus to take it. So when you choose to stay in rebellion, you will just ever increasingly get more and more weary with no peace....it's not a fun place.

But the fire is such a sweet place. Where your flesh burns alive and hurts like crazy, but in the purification, there is peace and blessing right in the midst of being burned alive. In the midst of all your fears screaming with ear piercing screams, with pain so great, you think you won't make it......God is ever near. His love knows no bounds!
In His Love I can hide there
I can cry there safely
He'll comfort me, heal me, bring me peace....

Even when the world around me has crashed, He never changes~ His love never fails, it never stops, it never runs out, there's always enough.

God is teaching me that I have a choice at all times. I never have "the right" to walk apart from faith. NEVER.
Sin will always always bring consequences. There is never a time when a price isn't paid for walking in sin.
My spirit in this last weekend has started grasing this verse:
These three remain, FAITH HOPE AND LOVE, But the greatest of these is LOVE.

HOW TRUE......God's love.....there is no words.......

The love of Jesus

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us
He became sin for us on our behalf so that we may live
His love is unconditional...it doesn't matter your performance, He just wants YOU!
He is slow to anger and quick to forgive
Our sins have been cast as far as the east from the west (that's a neverending GAP!)
He is the God of reconciliation
The God of restoration
The God of redemption
The God of provision

He is worthy.....seriously, after all He's done.....He is worthy of all our lives....
God's grace and supernatural power to get through troubled times is never ending. You have all you need at all times....
He is faithful
I wish my words could really capture Him in my heart. But the important thing....is that HE knows.....He knows....He knows all.....

Is Jesus enough?

If the very thing you love the most was taken from you, would Jesus be enough?
Is His love enough to sustain you?
Is His presence your refuge where you go?
Do you find the peace that passes all understanding when you get to the strong tower?

These questions grieves me because I know the answers aren't what I thought they were.
My desire and the truth aren't matching.

So that you know, there is still amazing miracles happening and God is healing as I said before. But He's really wanting to rebuild a poorly built foundation in my life. It's exciting, yet very painful. To lay down the things that you love the most, your dreams and hopes. To trust that He will give back to you what He knows best....

I know He is good....I want to passionately pursue the One that pursued me first....
Jesus.....He's the way, the truth and the life.
Be my Vision.....

funny movies

CLICK HERE!!!!! YOU HAVE TO SEE THESE MOVIES!

Keep Praising God!!!! (115-131)

115. So so thankful for songs like: - Praise you in this storm (casting crowns) You are my home, Lead us Lord, You surround me (Brian Doerkson) Reason enough (Avalon) This road (Ginny Owens) Above All (Micheal W. Smith)

116. Verses like: God is able to make ALL grace abound to you so that in ALL things at ALL times, having ALL you need, you will abound in every good work.

117. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors as thought God were making his appeal through us.

118. Knowledge puffs up, but LOVE builds up Those who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. But the man who loves God is KNOWN by God.

119. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the JOY set BEFORE him endured the cross.....Consider him so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

120. To Him who is able to do IMMEASURABLY more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.

121. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, be thankful and let the word of God dwell in you richly as you lift one another up with all wisdom.

122. (speaking of wisdom..) The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all PURE, then PEACELOVING, CONSIDERATE, SUBMISSIVE, FULL OF MERCY, AND GOOD FRUIT AND SINCERE.

123. For you know the grace of our Lord JEsus Christ, that though he was RICH, yet for (MY) sake he became POOR so that (I) through His poverty, might become rich........

124. Teach me your way and I will walk in your truth. Give me an UNDIVIDED heart, that I may fear your name......

125. You are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger and abounding in love and faithfulness!

126. When I am weak, then you are made strong

127. All things are possible with God

128. That His word never returns void

129. That no weapon formed against us will prosper.

130. That the battle belongs to Him

131. That I am loved unconditionally and am never alone.

My daily updates are now coming to an end

Healing and reconciliation are happening.

Our family is now under God's covering and protection. No more details will be shared. But i want to praise God for all He is doing and is going to do!

Our family is being transformed. Sometimes we need to hit bottom before we can be lifted up....and that's what we hit!

Thanks all for you prayers and support.
Don't stop praying! there is much to do.......we need all the covering we can get.
Blessings, and signing off on this chapter of my public blog.....

my cry for the last week ps 86

(in the last verse, I've been asking God for a sign of His goodness....he gave me that yesterday)
God's love for us unbelieveable! it's so pure and so rich......i'm overwhelmed at how true it really is......

Psalm 86

Hear me, LORD, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.

² Guard my life, for I am faithful to you;
save your servant who trusts in you.
You are my God; ³ have mercy on me, Lord,
for I call to you all day long.

⁴ Bring joy to your servant, Lord,
for I put my trust in you.

⁵ You, Lord, are forgiving and good,
abounding in love to all who call to you.

⁶ Hear my prayer, LORD;
listen to my cry for mercy.

⁷ When I am in distress, I call to you,
because you answer me.

⁸ Among the gods there is none like you, Lord;
no deeds can compare with yours.

⁹ All the nations you have made
will come and worship before you, Lord;
they will bring glory to your name.

¹⁰ For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
you alone are God.

¹¹ Teach me your way, LORD,
that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.

¹² I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.

¹³ For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths,
from the realm of the dead.

¹⁴ Arrogant foes are attacking me, O God;
a band of ruthless people seeks my life—
they have no regard for you.

¹⁵ But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

¹⁶ Turn to me and have mercy on me;
show your strength in behalf of your servant
and save the son of a woman
who served you before me.

¹⁷ Give me a sign of your goodness,
that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
for you, LORD, have helped me and comforted me.

thank you God for today

Today there is hope. There is healing taking place.
Today God spoke His peace to us.
Today was a new day

God is faithful and good. He is our Father that cares for us.

not coping

yet another day

-love does crazy things
-when you become one flesh, being apart is not possible
-God is changing me
-learning more about His unconditional love than I ever have
-There are no strings attached with love
-a revelation of my emotions being my god
-so so thankful for all the support
-thank you holly for the super yummy pizza last night and the joy of your baby
-thank you chris for the beautiful flowers
-thank you monica for coming over to help clean
-thank you carol for coming and putting my not so sober self to bed
-thank you steph and morgan for listening
-thank you mom and dad for taking care of my kids when i can't
-thank you nin for being the BEST SISTER EVER, crying with me
-thank you mom and sis (in law) for loving us and all your help
-thank you for all of you that are praying


-Hopeful
-scared
-Looking up

today.....

-loving him
-would do anything for him
-feels like someone ripped off half my body and took it away
-the love i have in me feels like it could do ANYTHING for reconciliation

Meditating on this today:

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love does not envy
Love does not boast
Love is not proud
Love is not rude or self seeking
Love is not easily angered
Love does not keep a record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil
Love rejoices with the TRUTH

LOVE ALWAYS PROTECTS
LOVE ALWAYS TRUSTS
LOVE ALWAYS HOPES
LOVE ALWAYS PERSEVERES
LOVE NEVER FAILS

even more point form......

-angry today
-totally abandoned
-discarded
-missing my other half
-wondering the process of a hardened heart
-willing
-always willing
-rejected
-my kids....God give them peace
-God, fill in the gaps
-God, don't let me loose hope
-hanging on by a thread
-a thin thread
-i keep telling myself 'don't give into despair'
-can't sleep at night
-wake up early
-can't eat
-have lost 8 pounds in one week
-PLEASE PRAY

more point form

-waiting is really really hard
-wondering how this happened
-very sad
-am I loveable?
-Am I worth it?
-Even though I gave my very being, was it not enough?
-quiet
-praying lots
-trying to be strong
-totally confused

-On the other hand:
-I can see straight through God's eyes
-His peace is carrying me
-the God of the whole universe loves me with an everlasting love
-He won't let even one get away
-there is always hope......

a point form update

-stressed
-mad
-yet feel God's presence
-sad
-trying not to worry
-it's 3 in the morning and I shouldn't be up!
-feel like I'm in a dream
-confused
-wonder what's really under the rug
-how long it's been there
-I honestly do sense God's peace
-through all the thoughts and worry, He's here, close to me
-thankful for my friends and spiritual family
-self esteem shot
-crushed, but not destroyed

Our homeschool

This is our homeschool candle. Every morning we light it and pray that Jesus is the light of our school and day. So that we aren't in the dark and we can follow His way. It stays burning as long as we are studying! The aroma reminds me of His sweetness.

I love these little drawers! Smelly markers, gel pens, glue sticks, dry erase, pencil crayons, pens and pencils! We've got it all!




The drawers where we keep all our papers and books.
Our schedule. So far so good. We have 45 minute slots this year instead of 30 minutes. It's been more relaxing to be able to take our time instead of beating the clock.


These are the books we are using. There will be more once I get my hands on the curriculum fair and the used book sale!!!! WOO HOO!! The black book on the bottom is my daily planner and log.

Noah's books. Math-U-See for math, Learning Language Arts through Literature- for L/A, and Accelerated Christian Education for a complimentary L/A and social studies. Faith's preschool workbooks are at the bottom right corner. We print alot of the net and do a lot of painting and crafts. We use pennies to count, puzzles to do, and even the leap pad to learn our letters better!
These are the multi-level teaching materials geared specifically to homeschool families with many kids. The KONOS book is that big yellow book and off to the left. KONOS is a unit study based program that has science, history, math, L/A, music, art, bible, and lifeskills all in one! It comes with a cool timeline that you use through out the year. (I still have to get that up!)
A Beka has a health program we are going to do this year.
History Alive is a christian perspective on the creation through history. (I learn alot from this one!) And we are using an art curriculum this year too!
Isaiah's side. Math-U-See (Love that program!) Learning Language Arts through Literature (grade 2 level) How to teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons. Recommended by veteran homeschool moms. Very good program and it only cost me 12 bucks! (she's almost done this book now) ACE (Accelerated Christian Education) for social studies.

sad

I am sad today. For a few reasons. Most I'm not able to say.
But because I'm committed to honesty on my blog and being real, I thought I would just share where I'm at.

I wonder what God will do?
I wonder what little choices that are made day after day will affect the future?
I wonder if this will make me stronger, or make me fall apart. Today, I feel that things are falling apart.

But I only know in PART......
I guess I will add one more thing to be thankful

115. God knows the whole story.....
Please hold us in Your Hand......

1000 Blessings 100-114

100. Today I am thankful for my mother in law. i hope she's reading this so she can know how much I love her and appreciate her. I stopped by her house to pick up a baby gate today to find her baking a strawberry rhubarb custard pie for her future son in law. She's always serving someone! Her home is always open. She let me come in and plan the rest of my school. It's just so peaceful over there.

101. I am thankful that she took my son to B.C. a couple of weeks ago. I was able to see all the pictures from the trip and he must have had a blast! She took him on the sky train and a boat and to the river (really close to the ocean) They went to the zoo, and swam in his great aunt's pool! The time and resources that she invests into my kids.....so so thankful and I love her so much!

102. I am so thankful that God has found my sister in law her mate. She has been looking (so has he!) for a long time! He is perfect for her. they are for eachother.

103. I am thankful that I am ready for school. I have all my books and schedules ready. I pray that God blesses our learning year!

104. I am thankful for frozen pizza!

105. Ikea cups

106. Gel pens

107. watermelon smelling hand soap

108. Febreeze Mr. Clean

109. Gaviscon maximum strength foaming tablets

110. Relaxation music and candles

111. the colors of fall right around the corner

112. All the crafts that go with fall!

113. All my fall decorations that will be coming out soon!

114. And....I AM caffeine free! since Wednesday! I miss it terribly!!!!!!! But, just shows how much of a God is was in my life! I think of drinking coffee, it seems like 50 times a day
"I'll just stop at timmy's for a coffee"
"I'll go to nin's for a coffee"
"I'm going to sit down and make myself some coffee while the kids are quiet"

One morning, I even got up went straight to the coffee machine and took the pot and filled it with water.....I caught myself and said outloud, "What are you doing???" that was hard.

More blessings (81-100)

81. I am trusting God for my healing for my heartburn. I am trying to make the nesessary changes to my diet to help in the healing process. Right now, I am in the process of cutting out coffee completely!! Scary to me. You don't realize how much something is a god in your life until you try to take it away! I'm down to 1 cup (instead of 3) in the morning. I have also cut the grounds in half. Headaches are now a part of my life.

82. I am trusting God for my healing for my eating patterns. I know that I am changing slowly. I remember a dear friend said to me more than once that you can't really grow in the way you eat until you stop throwing up. She was right. I'm thankful that God is changing me into a "normal" eater....just like everyone else!!

83. I am trusting God for healing in my extended family. My parents are awesome! They taught me so many things that alot of other children never learn. We hung out last night and I was just rememebering all of my family's good traits. Honesty and openness. They have good hearts.

84. On lighter news, I am thankful that school is starting this Tuesday! Even tho the summer is over, I am excited to get back into routine and teach the kids fun stuff!

85. I am thankful that my mom is taking my babies this morning for me to lay out all my school books

86. My girls are worshipping and cleaning their room as I type.

87. We found "Ristar" on the internet and now I am able to pass on this awesome game to my son (It was originally from a Sega Genesis)

88. I am going to be harvesting my garden soon, with potatoes, tomatoes, dill, and carrots!

89. That Joe has lost 7 pounds. I am thankful that he has realized in the last couple of weeks the importance of strength and cardio and is doing well. He is happier and has more energy. He's actually been sprinting and running a bit!

90. That with God all things are possible

91. That at any moment of any day of any circumstance, I can run to my hiding place where my Father in heaven holds me.

92. That I will soon be caffeine free!

93. That God is contiunally leading me to higher ground, to deeper levels and to new freedoms!

94. That He loves me so much that He's not willing to leave me to die, which is what my flesh is made of

95. That I have brothers and sisters in Christ that pray for me, encourage me and I know are FOR me.

96. I love that I have opportunities to be there for them as well. To love and encourage them too!

97. Totally thankful for Morgan. My very very close friend that I've known since I was 5! God uses her all the time!!!!!! She encourages me and is FOR me too! She understands me. We've walked together for so long, I know that I don't have to explain a whole lot....she just knows! (looking forward to my 30th bday with yoU!!!)

98. My friend Steph. She has become so dear to me. Her heart is so good. She has so much love to give. She overflows with it. I am thankful to have her in my life because we've been through so much of the same things. Married young, a child with cerebral palsy and the death of our sons. I am so looking forward to building our friendship throughout the rest of our lives!

99. That I'm almost to 100 blessings!

100. That I have thanked the Lord for 100 things on this blog!

Missing my friends already!

Joe and I met an amazing family a couple of years ago. They started coming to our church. Over the last year, we really tied some strong strings of sweet fellowship. She is such an inspiration to me. Her faith blows me away! Their kids have become quite close with ours. Jacob and Noah played all the time.....

They left for Botswana yesterday....I can sense God's mighty hand on their lives right now....
Read this article to get to know them a bit. Click on the image.

Doing things God's way

His ways are higher and His thoughts above ours.....

Sometimes, I just don't like doing it God's way. I mean, I know the outcomes and even walking His way brings peace and joy even while you're walking it! But today, my flesh just doesn't want to take the high road.

God is into slow cooking, seasons of waiting, the law of reaping and sowing. Our society is into microwaves, credit cards and diet pills.

I guess I am thankful that God has laid a foundation for me that I know that pills, cards and microwaves reap nothing but pain and I just won't, refuse to go there. I know that in unseen ways I do go there. In my thoughts often, I'm looking for the quick fix. My flesh wants to just 'figure it out'. It seems so silly to try compared to the all knowing, creator of the universe!!!!

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (ATTICC)
the courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference....

Just as a side note, I LOVE the 12 steps! I went to AA and NA for years, had a sponsor to overcome my drug and alcohol addiction. The tools I recieved there still impact my life today after12 years of sobriety. ("Go take some P.I.!!!) If anyone knows what I'm talking about, I'll give you a prize! I'll give you a hint. It's an abbreviation of one of the steps

Blessings 72-80 ... God

72. I am thankful that God knows what's best. He IS love. That He is perfect and flawless. That He is good and always right. That I don't need to figure it all out. I can just leave my life at the foot of the cross. God give me the grace to do that and everything that means.

73. I am thankful that while we were still sinners, He died for us. That even in our sinful, dark state, He loves us just as we are.

74. I am thankful that God can take water and turn it into wine. He can get water from a rock, that He can send manna from heaven to feed us. That He can make us new creations, make the blind to see, the lame walk, the dead rise again.

75. I am thankful that there is hope at all times, no matter how dark, no matter how dry, no matter how hard or deep you are. His purposes prevail, and they are to prosper us.

76. I am thankful that He has given us the ability through His strength to be content in whatever circumstance. Whether hungry or full, we can be at peace and in His secret place for refuge.

77. I am thankful that He is to be made known to all. That it's not about me, it's about glorifying Him in each step we take. That this temporary home is only for a short while and that soon, we will be Home forever!

78. I am thankful for families. That we don't get to choose our moms, dads, sisters or brothers. That He has placed the lonely in families. He reveals pieces of Himself through living in our earthly families. He teaches us about unconditional love, grace and mercy and humility.

79. I am thankful that His grace is sufficent. That His strength is made perfect in my weakness. That I can do ALL things through Christ. That I am a new creation. That I am His child, I am holy and blameless in His sight. That He chose me before the creation of ALL the world.

80. I am thankful that all the good in me is cause He lives there. I am thankful that He has chosen my heart as His home and that He made a way to move in.

Blessings 64-71 Going for 1000!

64. I am thankful that Noah is coming home today! I miss him so much. sometimes you just need a break from someone to realize how much you appreciate them. All the little things that usually bug me, I'm missing! It's been a quiet week

65. I am so thankful that my mother in law has given Noah this opportunity to go on his first plane ride and is spending the week with him in BC.
66. I am thankful for Joe these days. Even though marriage is crazy hard sometimes, we still have 13 years of knowing eachother. He knows me so well. Becoming one flesh more and more.

67. I am thankful for the sun today. I am looking forward to taking my girls for a walk down by the river and buying them ice cream.

68. I am thankful that my house is reasonably clean. My whole upstairs at ONCE is a big deal. The only things that are priority and visible are: Upstairs bathroom, Noah's room and one load in the dryer!

69. My new neighbours. My last neighbour had her children taken away and her home turned into a crack house. I pray that God will build relationship with these new neighbours and that He would be known from the testimony from this home.

70. My two baby girls playing peacefully, laughing as I type.

71. I am looking forward to the AFTER affect of my workout I'm going to be doing as soon as I'm done this post. Not necessarily DOING the workout itself!

blessing 58-63

58. This song is still pivotal in my walk with my God. I return to the message He spoke to me, often. I love this song. It's called "even if" by Zoegirl

59. The message of the song is to keep running back to Him as many times as it takes. We will be doing this till the day we pass from this temporary home

60. The message that we will be fine. No matter the storm, the desert, the circumstance (read our profile!!!) He takes care of us!

61. He gives us sisters and brothers to walk with along the way. He blessed us with family. He never said we had to do it alone.

62. My sister. We are so close. When we were cheorographing this dance, we just sat and prayed. The Lord gave us prophetic pictures of how to dance each line. The armor of God at the end came to us both in our prayer time.

63. Without God, nothing is possible....BUT WITH HIM ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE <><

1000 blessings (37-50) FAMILY

37. My Caleb man. He lives with us all still. He brought us so many things. His quiet and sometimes loud gentle spirit was such a calming for us. If you could take yourself away from the world and come into his for just a moment, you'd enter into a heavenly place where Jesus was close and Caleb was worshiping and there was just a peace that you couldn't explain....I love him and can't wait to see him again.




38. My girl is talking! After having a child that was limited in so many ways, I don't take these things for granted. Thank you for a healthy baby girl!

39. My faithfulness. She has such a unique presence in this house. I know that she isn't wired like the rest of us and she does quite well at dealing with all of us crazy people!

40. Isaiah the pisaiah the sourie. She is such a help. she loves to help me find order....which this family needs so much! She stays focused on the task at hand and finds her own satisfaction in a job well done.

41. My son Noah, noah noah....His heart is so good. I can't imagine him intentionally being mean or wanting to hurt someone. His passion for things is something we all need. I pray that he will become all that God intends for him.

42. My son Caleb. He was an angel sent to earth. He came with a purpose. To do the will of His Father. pure in heart and pure in spirit, Caleb lives in our hearts still.

43. My hubby, Joe. We are so different. Last night, I was amazed how God saw how we would grow and mature from eachother. He spurs me to be a better person, more patient, more steady, more logical rather than so emotional.

44. My mom. Tonight, I saw her laying on her couch so tired and sick. I take her for granted. How much she loves my kids as her own, how giving she is....I love her with all my heart

45. My dad. God is so at work in his life. I know that it's up and down for him, but he has come to know the Father more and more. He has learned to come just as he is and sit at his father's feet.

46. My sister. The definition of a true friend. I can trust her. She has my best interest at heart. She loves me, for me. I can be me and that's enough....even if I laugh at the draperies in Walmart and speak with silly accents infront of certain people....that's okay.

47. My brother in law. My sister's hubby. The spaz of the family. He's so great for us. We've never had a spaz.....I mean-a productive one....LOL. He gets things done and helps to encourage us all to face our fears. Since my sis has been with him, she has only changed for the better. I love him. If I could have picked a brother, he would be the perfect one!

48. My mother in law. I honestly can't sum up all that this woman is. Again, another odd match-her and I....but God has made the two of us close. We are so different, yet we learn and grow from eachother. She invests in our kids, loves them so much....we are so blessed.

49. My sis in law. We've had our bumps. God knew what he was doing when He matched me to the Waldherr's. She is so extremely compassionate. She has a special gift to feel what others are going through and she responds with such kind care. I wish I could be as selfless as she is.


50. My father in law. I've never met anyone like him before! He values family and is a giving man. I'm hoping to join him in his passion for running. He has invited me to go on a 5 km run this fall. Here is this 68 year old man able to run farther and faster than me!!! GO DAD!

51. My niece and nephew. Jonah ponah sonah conah lonah. So special to me since she was in mommy's tummy! I honestly honestly see her as my own daughter. My blood, so close to me....her destiny is so amazing. I can't wait to see what God does in her life. Daniel paniel.....what can I say....he's AWESOME! I've never loved another boy as much as him (other than my 2 sons of course) He captures me. He steals my heart. I just sit and stare in awe of this little man....

ball workouts

This one above is me and my sis's fav! We do this one almost everyday. It works the calves, hams, quads, abs and bum. What you do is start with the first pic, then roll your legs into your bum. The ball rolls with you and you squeeze your butt and calves. Then roll back out to starting postition. Keep your butt off the floor the whole time! To make it harder, lift one leg.








This one is the "tick tock" Works your inner thighs, abs and outer thighs. Move the ball from side to side with control.






This one is way harder than it looks. Works the inner and outer thigh and obliques. Do 3 sets of 10 or 15.



This next one is the ball pass. I do a different variation of it, what I do is look at the last pic. I have the ball between my legs. then I have two 5 lbs weights in each hand. As I lift my legs up, I lift my arms up from the sides. The weights touch at the top. This one looks fun, I should try it! I'm sore after this one almost everytime.






The famous plank. I've been doing the planks on the floor, but on the ball is way harder! The sound of a 30-40 hold in this pose sounds simple until you do it! I do 3 sets of 30-40 sec holds.




Thank you for joining me on "On the Ball with Carebear" We will be back after this short commercial break! LOL

1000 blessings (56 and 57)

56. WOW!! God takes my breath away! I was outside in my backyard tonight. I was just telling him how beautiful He is.....and this HUGMUNGOUS shooting star shot across the sky! It was so bright, so long, so spectacular, I gasped!!!

57. He is a personal God. He gave that shooting star just for me. Just to tell me how much He believes in me and how proud He is of me. Today is my 6 months. He wanted me to remember this day. How cool is that!!!

Today is a half a year!!!!!

Half a year ago today was the last time I threw up my food on purpose!!!!!!!

I remember saying to a travelling buddy a couple of years ago, "someday, I will be able to say that I haven't purged in 6 months!.....someday....."

And I can say it today!!!!!!!!!

Praise God! He is worthy!!! He is able!!! He is GOD!!!!

1000 blessings (51-55)

I have written a post on the blessings of family. That one was written BEFORE this one. But I feel led to share this one first. So the numbers will be a bit off....

51. I am encouraged. I have been keeping a journal of my workouts and run times and miles. I decided to add it all up today. Since March 12 of this year, I have ran 63 KM and a total of 7 hours! WOW....That just encourages me. A marathon is classified as 26.2 miles (which is 42.1 KM. I have ran more than a marathon! (not all at once....but I DON'T CARE!) plus, I know that I haven't written down EVERY run, so I'm sure there's more KM's than that!

52. I am following the Lord's lead in just laying down my hopes and dreams more. I am able to enjoy the summer without getting as ansy about things not getting done.

53. Our baby duck is in the forestry farm zoo barn and is doing well.

54. We are going to the paddling pool today!!!

55. "All I ever have to be is what You've made me any more or less would be a step out of your plan, as you daily recreate me, help me always keep in mind, that I only have to do what I can find".......(Amy Grant's song that I've been soaking in lately)